Iam in a relationship where we have been going through alot and Iam to the point I dont know what to do. I love him but I feel like Iam no good to him in this relationship. Ive had him up in the air about what I want to do because right now I dont even like myself.I havent cheated on him and I dont want to. I am just unhappy in my life right now. We have children and I dont want it to start Effecting them. WHAT SHOULD I DO.I would do what ever it takes for my children I feel like I am a very good mother. I am just no good at the girlfriend/wife thing right now.
2006-06-09 12:39:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
ok, this is all about you sweetie. you need to be happy for yourself and nobody else. do what you feel (and know) in your heart you want and everything will be alright. if you are happy, then trust me, your children will be happy. remember that you are showing your kids how to live and be happy and that they will follow your example when they grow up. teach them to follow their dreams and to live life for theirselves and they will love you for it. good luck and take care.
dream. soar. believe. achieve.
2006-06-09 12:46:07 · answer #1 · answered by annie - rainbow goddess 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Best Answer!
Baby girl I feel your struggle.
The truth - Its about love. You have to learn to love yourself again. The children and responsibilities required to make a happy home is trying and because of it you lost your own identity - personality.
The first thing if you are spiritual women is find your peace in God by learning to forgive you first. Your not a bad person and mistakes can be corrected with time and with love.
Second thing is to actuall take time out to breathe - I mean really breathe. Go to a place in town like a homeless shelter or batter shelter for women or abused children. Do some community service work helping other will bring immediate satisfaction to a broken heart. There are many of people in worst situations and if you see them you come to realize your situation is not as bad and can be fixed.
Last thing to do is seek therapy. You need to vent in a controlled environment and communicate how you feel about your mate. I do not believe you love him less, just you do not have any energy for the relationship right now. Its going to take work to fix you back up just like it took work to allow you to sink to a point of depression like this. Its going to take balance - meaning ending the relationship right now is not the best answer. Especially when that person in your life - if they love you and want to help you is there to do that. Do not run help away, but ask that they be patient as you start your healing process.
So tonight look in the mirror and tell the image you see I love you and I am going to do whatever it takes feel good about me. Do it for you - not the children nor the relationship.
Don't delay.. Hope this helps!
2006-06-09 13:05:39 · answer #2 · answered by Blacknight2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will tell you that you don't need a therapist to tell you what you are happy with and what you are disappointed with. YOU already know this. A therapist might try to help you to figure this out and try to resolve this issue by talking you through all the motions,but in the end it is YOU and your husband that still need to do the work on the relationship. Communication is the best thing you can do to try to salvage what is left of your relationship. It will take time for both of you to learn how to communicate constructively,but it will help you both to be able to confront issues without fighting about them. Set aside a time each day at first. Just the 2 of you for at least 10 minutes. And TALK. Talk about your day,or what made you happy. Try to steer clear of the negatives in the beginning. Just talk.
Another thing you can do is to each do 1 nice thing for each other every week. Tell each other on 'say' Sunday...what it is that you are going to do to make each other happy. Just try these suggestions first and continue to take more and more time for and with each other,go on a date,go for a ride,go to the beach...whatever...lock yourselves in the bathroom if you can't get away alone together. Just keep talking and you should find that you will start to be able to confront some of the issues that are bothering you and vice-versa. With a little work and a little time,you will hopefully be feeling that love for him that you once felt.
What is it that you are unhappy about in yourself? Is it something you have the power to change? Is it something you can try to work on?
Sending strength and happiness your way.
2006-06-09 13:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by zoya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you should discuss with you partner having some time apart but staying faithful to each-other as even though you may not think so it is definitely affecting your kids already. They will be better off with happier parents apart than unhappy parents together. Take care ;0)
2006-06-09 12:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by Lelu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you have kids doesnt mean your life is at a dead end. believe me your kids probably sense you're not happy or will begin sensing if you're not happy with your man let him know doesnt mean you gonna seperate the kids from there daddy it just means it isnt gonna be the same. but if you are in love with him, truely in love let me tell you love never dies even when you think it has. because love is a good thing its ever lasting and never dies out
2006-06-09 12:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by Lil Shorty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about going to couple therapists? they save marraiges and they are specialists in this field, since you do have kids i wouldent walk away so quickly, either communicate your issues more or suggest seeing a therapist to see if it would work. Its really the only solution that you have to work things out or for him to change, which can happen!
2006-06-09 12:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not happy with the man your with then you should leave him...take advice from me I am 13 and my parents are divorced because of the same reasons you explained! yeah its going to hurt the kid(s) for a little bit but eventually things will be fine just follow your heart and do what you gotta do...good luck!!♥
2006-06-09 12:43:26 · answer #7 · answered by Devin S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a break ... it will make up your mind. Just try not to think about that in general. Take a couple weeks, if you miss him so bad you can't stand it, then stay, if you don't, then don't go back.
2006-06-09 12:42:48 · answer #8 · answered by n0love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there sweetie, i wager there is no sensible thanks to attend to this style of problem... it form of feels that he's of direction irrational and he's taking subject matters out on you unnecessarily that are not your fault. the quick answer? end it... you'd be extra effectual off looking someone who would not favor to run you into the floor... i wish you're ok!
2016-11-14 10:05:00 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im sorry, i am going through the same thing right now....i wish it was easier!
2006-06-09 12:43:09 · answer #10 · answered by luchka123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋