Fight constantly about sex-all he ever wants, it does nothing for me anymore. I just lie there, I think its because he doesn't take no for an answer. We have two small children, I have just started staying home and now he has taken my car because he junked his work van. Its been a month, I can't go anywhere. He sees nothing wrong with that. I feel no connection at all with him anymore. It seems we are only together for financial reasons. Any advice? How do you know when it is over?
2006-06-09 11:28:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It sounds like so many things might be going on here. Is your husband is only looking out for his own needs? Are you just not interested in sex anymore? Try talking to him and explaining how you feel.
You can also see the doctor to make sure that there isn't a hormonal reason for your lack of interest in sex. Or, if it is possible that depression is the cause of the lack of interest, please see a psychiatrist.
If your lack of interest in sex is because he is only interested in his own needs and not taking the time to cuddle, caress and "turn you on" then a counselor might also help.
If you know that the marriage is over and there is no hope of saving it, then it is time to examine whether or not you want to stay in it. Only you know how you really feel and what is going on behind the scenes. Good luck!
2006-06-09 11:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by ilse72 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
A divorce is not the answer for a troubled marriage. Start changing yourself, and your husband will follow. Go get counseling, and invite him to come with you .
Since you don't have a car, ask a friend to take you, or see if you can drop him off to work sometimes and pick him up when he gets off. You need a car just as much as he does. Sounds like he's trying to control you.
It may be hard because some men don't want to talk, but sit him down in another room away from the children, and discuss with him what you feel is going on. Don't keep it to yourself. It's your responsibilty to inform him of how you feel because he can't read your mind.
Good Luck
2006-06-09 19:08:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard when one spouse is totally inconsiderate of the other. Whether you stay together, or split, the kids suffer. You have to see that there are some options for you. Sex is a gift; if it's used properly. Both people have to get enjoyment from it; or it's wrong.
There needs to be some healthy freinds around you that you can talk to. When ever you are in an either or situation, it's never good, because neither choice ever seems to be right. You have to respect yourself first, before you can expect others to respect you.
2006-06-09 19:27:18 · answer #3 · answered by runner45 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the other guy. Go see a marriage consoler first then decide if you want to break up or not. Its ok if you dont have aconnectiona hymore. Maybe you just now are realizing that you really donht love him that much, and it took you 6 years to realize. I dont know, maybe you just need some time apart. Tell him you became a lesbian or something. that'll turn him off and then maybe he wont want to have sex all the time anymore.
2006-06-09 18:34:48 · answer #4 · answered by efraevo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely seek marriage counseling. i am sure u can fix the problem if u keep the lines of communication open, but if u shut each other out, things will only get worse. u need to tell him how u are feeling, and what u need, so that he can work to make u happy. if u are happy with the life situation, chances are, you will begin to desire him again. i would not write off the marriage so easily, it doesnt have to be over. u have two small kids to think about, and it would probably be in their best interest if the two of you tried very hard to work things out. good luck!
2006-06-09 18:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by pinkcat613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think of the children 1st. Is it so bad that they are suffering from all thats happening? Do you think you can talk your husband into counseling? Sometimes if one person goes 1st, the other will follow.Whatever you do, do whats best for those kids.Get some advice.Ask a freind or relative to drive you.Your the one who has to make the move now before it gets worse. Good luck.
2006-06-09 18:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by yarbrough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it's over? You married him for better or worse. Don't blame him for your horrible taste in men. You need to get both of you into professional counseling for the sake of the children you decided to have with him. Only if that fails should you even consider divorce.
Start off with telling him sex is the culmination of a relationship, not the substance.
2006-06-09 18:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by Pancakes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like it is over. If I were in your shoes, I would be thinking mostly about the children. Are they safe there? Do they have everything they need? When did the sexual problem develop? If your relation is lacking in financial stability, meaningful communication and sexual health, you should leave immediately, because at that point it would only get worse....
2006-06-09 18:34:02 · answer #8 · answered by GKIRK78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have u sat down and talk this with him about ur feeling?? he wont no unless u say sumthing. as for sex all the time let him no that women need time for themselves. sex allthe time is no fun it loses its charm, it becomes like a dead end job with no gratification. If u say NO stick to ur guns. because if u give in to his demands, he will never take u seriously when u say NO. Ignore him if he pouts, they always do. Dnt forget men are big babies. Things shud always b their way. He will soon see it ur way.
2006-06-09 18:38:31 · answer #9 · answered by wedding blues 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is causing you to resent him. He's putting his needs first and thinks that should always be acceptable to you. It doesn't work that way, it should be about compromising and he should be considerate of your needs too. If he is not willing to really listen to you and work on this in a positive way, the resentment will grow and destroy what you once felt for him. And that is when you know in your heart that it's really over.
2006-06-09 20:45:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋