In the lesbian world how do you catorgorize yourself feem butch or inbetween and how do you come to that label

Answer 1

My life partner and I are an interesting mix between the two. I look more like a guy, short spikey hair, sometimes people mistake me for one. My partner is the beautiful, medium lenght haired girl. She has a son, and was previously married. So, by appearances, I'm butch and shes femme. However, I play a more mothering role than she does for her son. She acts more like a father to him than a "typical" mother. She is more like the man who sits in front of the TV or computer all night. I play housewife and cook dinners, get her things when she asks, but she cleans the house and does laundry. And, when we have another baby, i am the one who wants to carry it. I cant imagine going through life as a woman and not experiencing what could possibly be the most wonderful thing in the world... having a child growing inside you. But, if we were to ever get married, Id be the one in the tuxedo (no dresses for me!) and she would wear the dress. Go figure!

Answer 2

My partner and I have never fit the lesbian labels, neither of us act fem or butch all of the time. We mostly wear jeans and t-shirts and we both have long hair. We can dress up if we want, though my partner looks better and is equally comfortable in fine frills, unlike me. Labels and categories are nice if you need them I guess, but we are just lesbians I suppose.

Answer 3

I wouldn't label myself as anything in particular. If I HAD to choose a label I would say "all over the map". I can be very femme, or very butch...depending on the cirucumstances. But that can actually be said for straight women too. It just depends on the situation, really.

Answer 4

I am soft butch and my partner is feme. Not that that matters. I just am not into Butch (my ex was too butch for me)cause I like womyn. I have long hair but I wear jeans and t-shirts, I can wear a dress ( I do own a few), but I like being comfortable.

Answer 5

My question is why do we have to label ourselves as butch or fem?
I may look fem, but do more butch things, my partner looks butch but does more fem things. In reality, I am just me. A unique individual.
In a relationship, the Butch and Fem roll may differ each time (in one you are the Butch and the other the Fem). So....................
Why can't we just call ourselves lesbian and leave it at that?

Answer 6

I really don't like labels.

But fem would be like any other girly girl you see, with a more graceful way I guess. Hair style has nothing to do with it. I know a bi girl with short hair, like a pixie cut, and she is very fem. Where butch is more like a tomboy with a ruffer way to them. Maybe more controling, but that's really more of an opinion.

Answer 7

I am what's known as butch because I am more mascluine in appearnce. WHEN i get maried, I iwll not wear a dress but a suit or a tux, cuz I like the way it looks.

Answer 8

High femme. It's about attitude.

The site below has a test that will place you on the butch-femme axis. It's pretty funny.

Answer 9

If you look soft and feminine then you're a fem. If you have short hair cut like a man's style and you're tough or muscular and can kick a man's a*s then you're butch.