my bf and I have been dating for 2 years now and he wants to go to Niagra falls to get married but i want a big (not too big) wedding what should i do? he wants 5 years down the road to have a big wedding. and it will be just me and him when we go no one will be there to see me get married!
2006-06-09 10:33:52 · 23 answers · asked by jodicee_19 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why does he want to elope? Money issues? Who is going to pay for this "big but not too big" wedding? It sounds like he wants some time to save up to pay for a big wedding, so you need to decide what's important to you. Do you want a big wedding, or do you want to marry your boyfriend as soon as possible? It sounds like you're going to have to make a compromise one direction or the other, so decide accordingly.
2006-06-09 10:37:13 · answer #1 · answered by Elizabeth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't get the wedding I wanted, and we always said we would redo it when we had the money. Six years later I'm still waiting. It will never be the same the second time around. Make sure it's what you want. How about a compromise by having a "vacation wedding" by inviting an intimate group of family to Niagra falls to see you wed, and then they have a vacation while you have a honeymoon??
2006-06-09 13:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by Confused wife 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way, I can see his point---depending on your ages, of course. Big weddings, with all the trimmings, can cost thousands of dollars. If your parents have the money to spend on a big wedding, then maybe they would rather write you a check for about what they would spend on a big wedding, and you could make a down-payment on a house!
I've always wondered about my daughter's wedding. Her wedding cost over $10,000; we had to take out a loan to pay for it. I'm wondering if he's just being more prudent and thinking more of what you both could do with that much money.
Also, planning a wedding---from my experiences of three of them--can sometimes make the man feel as if he's just an afterthought---someone to just show up and be there on time. I kind of felt sorry for the grooms!
My husband and I were not able to have a big wedding----back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth---but we don't miss it. I'm kind of glad we didn't. When we got married, it was just us---we got married and we had a wonderful day together. We didn't have to put up with grumbling family members, all those bills, and the frustrations.
Watch "Bridezilla" on television---I think I would want to elope, too.
Congratulations to both of you in whatever you decide.
REMEMBER: God, Marriage, then Children. If you keep it in that priority order, you'll do fine.
2006-06-09 10:42:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him how you feel and that it's important to you to have a more traditional wedding. If he is concerned about money - have you talked to your families about the wedding? Traditionally it's the bride's family who usually pays for the wedding, while the groom takes care of the honeymoon.
If money is an issue - then tell him you would at least like a few people close to you as witnesses at your ceremony. His idea of having a big wedding 5 years later is a bit strange - it's almost as if to say if we last 5 years then we deserve a big wedding. You only get married once and the day you take your vows is it!
2006-06-09 10:49:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Five years down the road a big wedding? That will never happen. If you want a wedding of any size, have it now. The only "weddings" that happen after the fact are 50 year anniversary repeating of vows.
2006-06-09 10:36:41 · answer #5 · answered by PuterPrsn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage should be a mutually consentual thing. Obviously you do not want to elope like he does. Maybe you two will need to compromise somehow, but you definitely need to discuss why each of you want the ceremony to happen the way that you each say. Maybe he is saying he is worried about the expense? Money is a big issue for successful marriages. Starting off on that foot would be the wrong one.
2006-06-09 10:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by Cheshire Cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind him of all the wedding gifts you guys will be missing out on by eloping. Unless you have a child that you will need alimony for later on, there's really no other reason to get married than the gifts.
2006-06-09 10:38:24 · answer #7 · answered by Besmirched Tea 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have friends/family along if you elope ( eloping is avoiding the costly trappings of a wedding) ---- take lots of pictures and have the occasion captured on video!
Use the big bucks to pay for house, or furnishings etc.
2006-06-09 10:40:24 · answer #8 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you 2 need to talk about it and make sure your both on the same wave length here. You dont want to rush a marriage unless your both in on it together. I can understand him wanting a private moment like that with you and I can so understand you wanting it to be a big deal. I think there is a way for both of you to get what you want. How about you 2 just go to where he wants but only invite the most special ppl to you. It'll still be private and special. And yet big. Good luck but make sure you COMMUNICATE your feelings to one another. that way it'll all work out.
2006-06-09 10:38:42 · answer #9 · answered by one with no name 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not elope and have your dream wedding later on your 5th anniversary I think it'll be even more romantic to be remarried twice to the same man that's special
2006-06-09 10:39:47 · answer #10 · answered by dangerously in love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋