My daughter needs help!!!!?

Question

my daughter is in love w/ this one guy and he asked her to marry him BUT... she is illegal 2 him But... i said i will give them permission because she is my only daughter and i put her up for adoption when she was a baby and now she is with evil parents and this is really the only way for her 2 get out of that house. what should she do? i want her 2 be happy and she knows what she is gettting into.

she will be 17 in July, and this is something she wants 2 do becuz she gets abused in her adoption house

should i let her do this i mean she has 2 learn sometime in her life but should i give in this much?

i mean i love her 2 death but she deserves something like this. she has been beatin badly and she is not allowed 2 eat at her adopted parents house unless she has money shouls she marry him?

oops i mean should i let her do this this is an opprotunity for her 2 get out alive.

Answer 1

Don't let her do it. She's too young to make this decision and you're being too soft with her. She may love the guy but she can get into some serious problems this young and in love. You have to be firm and tell her that if she really loves the guy that she will wait until she's older and can do it without getting permission. It's called tough love. Don't give in to her...it's hard, but I know that if you love her you won't let do it.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to question you, but this story sounds awfully dubious. Especially as you claim your daughter is "17 in July", and yet on another question you say "im a single teenage female". So how old were you when you had here, because assuming your at maximum 19, and shes 16 your effectively saying you had her at 3 years old?

What her 'evil [adopted] parents' are abusing her as well? This is a really serious matter, before shes makes any important decision about marriage she should be in a stable, loving family enviroment. You really should contact the appropriate authorities, perhaps Child Help USA who can be reached on their hotline [phone].

It sounds like she has been treated atrociously, for example "she has been beatin badly", and now I hear things have got so bad that "this is an opprotunity for her 2 get out alive". Seriously, if this is true then you shouldn't even be posting on Yahoo! Answers, you should have taken the initiative and reported this a long time ago for the sake of your daughter.

Anyway, I hope this isn't just a joke.

Answer 3

Don't let her marry just to get out. There are other ways, first go to the police or children and youth. They can get her out. And since you are her birth mother even though you gave up rights they might have come live with you. And don;t think cuz she's 17 they won't do anything they will. As long as you are under 18 they will get you out of a house where the parents are abusive. But please don't let her marry so long, theey usually don't last and in a few years or even a year she'll be paying for a divorce. No matter how much she says she loves him. I was married at 18 and separted at 19, divorced at 21. Call the police. They are your best bet and they can tell you what legal actions to take. Good luck

Answer 4

if you gave her up for adoption, how can you give her permission to get married? Do you still have some parental rights? If she is being abused, she needs to notify the authorities, a close family friend, school counselor, someone who can get her some help. 17 is kind of young to marry, and if she only does it to get out of the home she's in, she may not be happy. how old is he, does he have a place for her to stay, will she finish her education, be able to pursue a career? all these things should be taken into consideration as she contemplates marriage at an early age. why don't you invite her to come live with you, if the home she's in abusive? that may be more acceptable so that she can finish her education. if he loves her, he'll want what's best for her. in the mean time, call the police.

Answer 5

First of all from experience, I have a huge family!! Lots of neices, and nephews, sisters, etc...... Teens, have a way of manipulating, to get what they want in life, at young ages! Teen girls, especially will play on the opponent parent, that isn't the strict one! And your daughter could very well, be makeing this all up just so she can be independant, and with her guy. Is her guy worthy? That is the question, you need to ask, yourself? Is he responsible? Would he treat your daughter, good? Consider the sources, first. Then, I would decide from that point on... And, if she wants out of there, where she is so bad, that if this is all a lie, and she would go that far, then maybe, if this young man is the responsible type, you should let her marry him. But, I would definately take part in her life from that point on, or she could turn this all around and blaim you, if the marriage goes sour. Especially if she's a "Master-Manipulater"!! Be careful, is the Best Advice, I can give! And, somehow, someway, try to get back in her life, so she can, have some idea, of what, and where she really came from, you know?!

Answer 6

You need to contact child services on the people that is supposed to be caring for your daughter. If they really are abusing her and hardly feeding her that is YOUR # 1 PRIORITY right now. For you to even say that you want her to come out alive! You need to help your daughter in having her be placed in a safe home.
Another thing, your daughter is super young to be getting married! I fell in love with a 20 year old guy when I was 16 and I ran away and got married when I turned 18. It is a HUGE responsiblity for a teenage girl to even consider. To this very day, I wonder if I made the right choice sometimes and think what would've happen if I waited. If you are not ready to get married (a 17 year old girl isn't) then the most wisest thing you can do is NOT TO GET MARRIED. But you say you feel afraid and terrified for your daughter's safety and welfare? You need to contact Child Services or the health dept and explain the situation to a professional. If you get too fearful and decide to just let your daughter get married JUST TO GET OUT THE HOUSE then you will be making a BIG MISTAKE.
Another thing, are you sure your daughter is being neglected? She could just be saying that so that you will allow her the permission to get married? When you love a guy and you're young, you will do ALMOST anything to be with him even if it comes to lying to your loved ones. Please contact and get some help for your daughter.

Answer 7

Hell no do not let her get married that will be a big mistake . Report the abuse to a social worker trust me . I as a 17 year old was going to do the same thing but then I realized that I do not know about life and I need to explore it now I am going to be 19 and I am so happy I did not do that now I even have a new man . Plus she should finish school first . If you love her do not let her . Who cares for the mistakes you made in the past do not make one now.

Answer 8

☼If there is no way out of this situation then, yes. But she has school, and counseling at school, and she has trusted adults. She can tell someone she trusts. Getting married just to get out of this situation is wrong. Let her marry when she is at least 20 or 21. Take your case to court, and maybe you can have her back. But you should be doing something about this already, you are her biological mother. Ya gotta be there for her, cuz right now, she really needs YOUR help. An adults help. Do't let her marry the guy just yet. Maybe later. YOU have to deal with the abusing first. Talk to your daughter about this too. Because like I said, she shouldnt get married just to get out of the situation right now. Also, don't listen to people that try to say smart aleck answers..they don't know how it feels to be you right now. Good Luck! Sorry if I didn't help! ♥

Answer 9

What kind of mother are you? Are you insane? Why would you even contemplate such a thing? Instead of telling your daughter to marry this guy, you should help her report this to the authorities. You let her down once before by giving her up for adoption but this time help her to succeed. Get her out of the house and encourage her to finish her education. Under no circumstance should dhe marry this or any other man until she is ready for the commitment and she is truly in love with the person.
Good luck and God bless.

Answer 10

Yes. if i were her mother and she was being abused by her adopted parents then she should get married 2 get out of the evil house. Since she is only 17 then if she can, she should move into her fiance`s house, then wait until she is 18 then get married. Also, you should call CPS on the abusive parents

Answer 11

First of all, you should report to the police that you're daughter is being abused by her adopted parents. Legally, your daughter will be removed from that family and she can start another life. Since she's already 17, she only has one more year to become legal and can make her own decisions. I believe your daughter just wants to run away from the problem that she's having by getting married. I don't think she really wants to get married since she's so young.