Just found out 13 year old step-son had touched tongues, 1 time-1 year ago with my 5 year old. Should I worry

Question

My 5 year old is a girl. She said it only happened one time at our old house (which would of been minimum 1 year ago). Also it was in the closet with a flashlight. She said they both stuck out their tongues and touched each others tongue. She was not upset when she told me nor did she even think I would be upset. It came out accidently and innocently. It was approached a day later by my husband but to the wrong child (I have two step-sons) she accidently named the wrong son for some reason but swears it was the older one. She said, I don't know why she said the wrong one. The only thing I can think of is because she seems to get along good with him and so doesn't everyone else. The older one is getting the teenage attitude and doesn't want to be around anyone for that matter. Fights alot with his siblings. We never approached the son who did it because now it looks like we are just trying to find someone to blame. My husband's x also had to get involved with it. Need advice

Answer 1

I don't think it is a big deal, they probably just thought it would be funny to touch tongues. They probably went in the closet so no one would see them and think it was weird. Unless it happens again, I wouldn't worry about it. Kids do some weird things that you just have to let them do.

Answer 2

Situations like these are never easy to deal with.I have had a similar experience with my children ( my step-son) and my daughter.My step-son has always been a very troubled child and difficult to deal with,so this didn't help matters and it was very difficult to keep a lvl head.My advice to u i guess would be to follow up with your daughter and make sure that there is nothing more she has to tell you,without making a huge issue.Sometimes even the happiest of children will overly respond to things that are getting them a little more attention, so u want to avoid that from happening. If your step-son is already exhibiting some less than favourable behaviours its probably best if maybe his father and mother take some action as far as letting him know at the very least that u r aware of the incident. No 2 peoples experiences are the same so it is ultimately up to u, pretty much just wanted u to know that these things happen to almost everyone at one point or another. Good Luck! :)

Answer 3

I wouldent worry about it. It was prtobably just an accident. It was also year ago, so he probably is not abusind her or anything like that. Also, how do u no that your 5 year old isn't lsn't just lying about it to get attention. Lots of 5 year olds already know about frenching, and think it's gross. She might have been trying to get him in trouble. Let it go, unless it happens again, then send him 2 a shrink.

Answer 4

Unless you notice any unusual behaviour from the 13-year-old (do keep an eye out for it), I wouldn't worry. I've done the same when I was a child, just out of curiosity of how two tongues touching would feel....there was absolutely nothing sexual about it. Children are simply curious about everything, and the tongue is an unusual part of the body.

Answer 5

I think you shouldn't make a big deal out of this, because it only happened once, a year ago, and it hasn't happened again since.

Kids like to experiment but they don't do it with bad intentions. Your 13 year old step-son just wanted to play, maybe? Know how it felt in a safe way? Maybe it was part of their game.

I think you should talk to your daughter and ask her to come to you if anything like that ever happens again. Other than that, I don't think you should embarrass your step-son. He probably already forgot about it.

Good luck!

Answer 6

It's just experimenting from curiousity. Don't make a big thing out of it because you'll cause unneeded trouble. I would leave the girl alone because she doesn't seem to be negatively affected by this. You could try having a discution with the boy though. But not an agressive one. Just some sexual education.

I don't have kids yet (I'm 26) but this is what I would do.

Answer 7

It happened a year ago! The little girl obviously wasn't traumatized and the behaviour hasn't escalated into anything harmful.If such a huge fuss is being made over innocent discovery, don't you think your troubled teen is going to become even more isolated and withdrawn? Of course keep an eye on them, but accusations and guilt don't produce confidence in you as a parent.

Answer 8

Please, please listen to me. If a 5 year old touched tongues with another 5 year old or a 13 year old touched tongues with another 13 year old, I wouldn't worry. A 13 year old that experiments with a 5 year old is in deep trouble. DO NOT IGNORE THIS!!!!! This will not go away. Your step-son needs help and you need to protect your daughter. Maybe I'm wrong and I pray to God that I am, but is it worth the risk???? Of course your daughter thinks it was ok, she trusts her brother. Trust me, I went through the same thing. I never thought my brother would do anything to hurt me. I was wrong.

Answer 9

I wouldn't be concerned. First of all your stepson was at an age where he was probably just trying to figure things out. Obviously it wasn't something that interested him because it has not happened again.
Sitting him down and calmly asking him what happened and going over the changes and hormones his body is going through might not be a bad idea. But freaking out and making a huge deal out of it isn't a good idea.
Good luck!

Answer 10

You shoukd talk to your step-son about it, even if it embarasses him. I think it's normal to 'experiment' with your siblings, but he is 13 and that seems rather old to be going through that phase. It could be something more serious, and if it isn't right now, it could turn into it.

Then again, maybe he just used her for 'practice' because he wanted to know how to kiss a girl? Talk to him and find out. If he reacts with anger and denies it, he is probably guilty of more than you think.