My 5 year old son has asthma. The doctors tell me to keep him away from a smokey environement. My in-laws chain smoke. Plus there is another chain smoker in the house. Three chain smokers. When my son goes and visits they still smoke in front of him. My husband and I have asked them to go outside and smoke while my son their own grandchild is over because the smoke bothers him. They won't stop smoking while he's around.
My son's doctor had personally written a letter to them asking them not to smoke around him. I showed it to my husband and he got mad. Am I wrong in asking them to stop smoking while he's at their house? Isn't it my right, and job to protcet him? My son tells me the smoke makes him feel sick and when I tell him he's going over there he doesn't want to. It's causing problems for my husband and I he won't put his foot down. My husband said he wanted other opions about how bad smoke is for children that have asthma. Isn't it pretty clear? Thank you.
2006-06-09 08:16:26 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ General Health Care ➔ Other - General Health Care
I am sorry for your dilemma. My son had been sick as an infant and had to use a nebulizer for awhile.
I think you cannot ask them to not smoke in their own home. You can however, not allow him to go over there. You as his mother have a responsibility to protect your child. Your husband should be backing you in protecting his son. Even if they quit smoking when he is there, the fact that they smoked in the room BEFORE he got there is going to affect him too.
It's affecting your child's life. How can your husband not see this? I don't understand it. I hope he sees the light soon. Your son is suffering from it.
2006-06-09 08:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm a smoker. I smoke in my home mostly my room. I have a 10 year old and a 16 year old. If I were in your shoes, my children come first. I wouldn't let him go over there. If they disrespect you that much to not even quit while their own sick grandson is there then they don't deserve to visit with him. Those are your rules, stick by them. And as for the smoker in your home, they'd be smoking outside....guaranteed. And as I said ... I'm a smoker. Now you have a smoker's point of view. Good Luck. And stand behind what you believe in.. especially if it's for your son's health.
2006-06-09 15:28:38 · answer #2 · answered by Karen V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take your son over there at all it's not just smoking it's second hand smoke too. If you really care about your son stay home with him. If you husband doesn't get it, then I guess he is asking you to choose. Let see the life of your son or a few hours with your in laws. If you want to confront them again, I suggest that you do it when they are not smoking they are more likely to listen.
2006-06-09 15:23:11 · answer #3 · answered by alliegator 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smoke is bad for anyone, let alone a child with asthma. Your son could suffer a serious asthma attack by being around all that smoke. You or your husband need to tell your in-laws that if they don't want to stop smoking in their own home, that is fine, but then your son will no longer come to visit. Tell them they're welcome to visit him at your house, but that you refuse to endanger his health any longer by putting him in a situation so unhealthy. Perhaps you should find some brochures or websites on smoking and its effects not only on asthmatics, but on everyone. Your son should not be punished for your in-laws' refusal to respect his right to a healthy atmosphere.
2006-06-09 15:21:40 · answer #4 · answered by c-reb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It IS pretty clear - you are in the right here. If your doctor took the time to write a note to your in-laws, then it seems pretty serious to me. How selfish of them all... If your husband won't step up, you should. Call them on the phone and tell them they will not be seeing their grandson anymore until they can agree to stop smoking around him. Simple as that. You can do it - you're doing a great job protecting your son.
2006-06-09 15:20:03 · answer #5 · answered by Lo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your first concern is your child's health. YES, second hand smoke will effect someone with asthma. You need to educate your husband on this. Have him speak with your doctor.
As for your in-laws. I would tell them, that your son cannot be in there home due to his health problems. If they would like to visit at your home, you will ask them to please smoke out-side. and until their home is smoke free you and your son will no longer be visiting. Your husband may have a problem with this. But if he loves his son, he will do what needs to be done for his welfare.
And if your in-laws want to see their grandson at their home, they will do the proper thing also. good-luck!
2006-06-09 15:40:58 · answer #6 · answered by ASTORROSE 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely right. I have 2 daughters with asthma, and a mom with asthma at my home. I would have done the same thing. Your son being around smoke is life threatening. Smoking can trigger an asthma attack and it can literally kill him. You have a right to protect him from your in-laws childish behavior. Tell your husband this "I chose our son's life there are no options".
2006-06-09 15:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by Tina 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can you make it clearer???
But you are up against telling someone that they can't smoke in thier own house when your son is around. This puts your husband in a tough spot because, with the letter you by-passed his authority.(Not that he is willing to put his foot down.....)
This may be hard, but try telling them that because they don't go along with you and your doctors request, that your son will not be able to come over to thier house, but you would be happy to have them at your house, where you can say NO smoking.
Good luck.
2006-06-09 15:25:22 · answer #8 · answered by wildbill05733 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to show them the letter and tell them again that your child could have an asthma attack that could jeopardize his health and may possible kill him if they do not stop smoking around him. As his mother (two of my sons have asthma) you have the right and duty in my opinion. If your husband doesn't agree tell him this is too important to ignore.
If they love your child they will not smoke around him.
2006-06-09 15:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by Cindy P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not in the wrong at all. your husband should realise this.....maybe you should stop taking your son to visit them, that should make them think twice. these ppl sound very selfish, if they're not bothered about their own health but they should have some consideration for your son's. good luck, hope your son gets a little better soon, and benefits from a smoke free environment
2006-06-09 15:20:27 · answer #10 · answered by lovin_me2day 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋