My wife an I are seperated. We both have fault in this, but I can't live with I don't know or I'm not sure anymore. I just wish she would tell me if were going to try or not. The truth is I don't like to feel like a puppet on her string.
2006-06-09 07:34:58 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
just file. do it. you are already out mentally..might as well go all the way.
2006-06-09 07:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by embigguns 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to file for divorce as a ploy to get her to get off the dime? No, it's not "ok" to do something like that. Filing for divorce is a statement that you are through with the relationship, it's not a move in chess. And people who USE the process for that abuse the process, the court system, and their spouse.
Really, the truth of the matter is that you know all you need to know. If she keeps telling you that she "doesn't know" or that she "isn't sure" then she's got nuthin' else to say and you have all the information available. You then can make up your own mind: either you are on or off the merry-go-round. If you are on, then you don't file. If you are through, then you file. But do not use it as a weapon.
2006-06-09 07:38:57 · answer #2 · answered by two 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That purgatory that is seperation is horrible. You're not married but not divorced either.
In order to go on with your life you have to know which direction you are going to be going. If she won't commit to doing anything one way or another I would say start the paperwork.
Then I would get into a good support group that deals with divorce. Many churches offer this type of service. You will need to learn how to be by yourself before you go out and be with someone else. Do it too early and you will almost certainly wind up in the same or worse situation.
2006-06-09 08:25:56 · answer #3 · answered by Bud 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont file for divorce unless you want a divorce. if she's treating you like a puppet its because you are allowing her to do so...call her up tell her you can't live in limbo, that you would like to try to make it work (if thats what you want) but you need an answer or the two of you need to talk about it by (pick a day) and if not you are filing for divorce because you just can't stand it anymore. you said yourself you are waiting for HER to tell you whether the two of you are going to try or not, what about what you want? then find yourself a dinner date (don't have sex with her) just go on a date, let your wife know you did or are going to and that will move things along very quickly, she wont want you to go if she doesn't want to lose you and if she doesn't care then its over.
2006-06-09 07:40:20 · answer #4 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen up Robert. I spent 2 effing YEARS hoping my wife would realize she had two wonderful children, a good man for a husband and a family worth saving instead of being "in love" with her at-that-time girlfriend. Guess not. That's 2 years I can never get back. And they were in my 20's man! Rip off! So sit her down, cut through the bull and ask her directly: DO you want to make this work?" Tell her what she can look foreward to without you. Remind her of all you've been through. Tell her that statictics say if you make it past this you'll be SOLID in 4 years BECAUSE you worked it out. If she's still stucvk up and hell bent for single life as well as the "freedoms" she things she'll be happier with then eff her and cut your losses my friend. I honestly wish the very best of luck to you.
2006-06-09 07:39:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's different for everyone. Some folks date while waiting for the divorce, others wait til it goes through. Totally up to you. I will advise you though to tell the dude you are dating STRAIGHT UP that you are in the midst of separation or divorce so there are no secrets and you're on the same page. Good luck.
2016-03-26 23:19:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First figure out if you want to try and make it work, if not then file for divorce. If you do want to try, then talk to her about it and see what she wants to do and take it from there. Just make sure that whether or not she wants to work it out, that you know what you want that way there is no stringing along. My husband is doing that to me and a person needs closure. Either way it will be tough but the sooner you get started the sooner you can get on with your life.
2006-06-09 07:39:15 · answer #7 · answered by skyjava1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I asked my husband to move out over 6 months ago. I had meet someone else, but didn't tell him this for fear of causing more pain.
Check your state laws, in FL you must reside sepeartly for 6 months before you can file for divorce, but do what you feel is right.
I knew when I asked him to move out it was over. He has since found out about my boyfriend. I am filing a simple dissolution, no one claims fault and no one is paid ailmony.
It is lawyer free and reasonable in price.
Hope this helps.
2006-06-09 07:49:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just file. My ex husband and I went through the same thing. He said that he was going to file and after 2 years I wnet ahead and file because he did not want to look like the bad guy. When he was the one that had cheated
2006-06-09 07:58:29 · answer #9 · answered by beenie 21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my state, someone needs to be the one who files, regardless of who's at fault. It's just the procedure. That's how the court will open a file. If you're unsure, you should definitely go to counseling. If she doesnt agree, then she's not willing to try.
2006-06-09 07:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by cocoanutt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should let her know that you intend to file, unless she sees an immediate reconciliation. Tell her (if it is true) that you still love her, but that unless you are going to be together, there is no reason to put divorce off.
After all, if you both DO love each other and can work things out... you can marry each other again.
2006-06-09 07:39:03 · answer #11 · answered by Raynanne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋