my girlfriend wants time apart its been 2 months now. she gets lots of hassle from daughters bfriend family?

Question

ive been with my girlfriend for 8 months, on easter sunday she said she wanted time apart coz her oldest daughter gave birth and she was gettin so much hassle off her and her daughters boyfriend. so my girlfriend decided that she didnt want me to be there through it all and that her feelings where all over the place. ive been textin her and last nite we spoke for an hour on the fone she says that shes never loved anyone as much as she loves me, i tell her that i want to make my life with her and her kids, i do love her a heck of a lot and what she said last nite sounds like she loves me the same way she did from day one. wot shall i do?????? ive known her for about 5 years im 22 and shes 32 yeh a bit of an age gap but we spoke on the fone and texted eachother for 5 years before we met up. in those 5 years i had problems and so did she but we never spoke about it,it was like we werent bein ourselfs but we supported eachother,she went through a divorce and i sorted myself out.any advice

well age isnt the issue with me, shes got 3 kids, i got on with 2 but the eldest i try but she doesnt want to know me, the eldest had a baby and givin her mum all the hassle, when i was there and we had a bit to drink at nite she sometimes would take it out on me, but i didnt care coz i wanted her to lash out so i know wots goin on in her mind, its hard being away from her, the only reason she doesnt want me there is coz shes gone through life by herself and she cant accept help in her mind she'll grind herself down to the core before shed ask or shed run away from it.

Answer 1

People shouldn't become objects of pity. As a matter of fact they shouldn't become objects at all. It's when this happens that they stop being wanted.

I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace

Answer 2

Stallion dear, you are in quite the quandry! You have said some things that I'm not sure you picked up on. When your gfs daughter was venting on you she said her mother was never there for her? (paraphrasing) You need to investigate that more, or there is more to this story. Your gf said she needed space. From what? Were you living together? After 3 years if she is not ready to move on to a permanent commitment, dear, you need to protect your heart and go on with your life. The age diff is nothing. Forget that. The fact that she is letting her daughters boyfriend's family influence YOUR relationship is the root of the problem. Be honest, do you demand too much of her time? Are you needy emotionally? Are you yet another child she has to care for? If the answer is no, then the daughter has some insight you don't. Where was mum exactly while she was growing up? Hard core fact is that she can't make up for the past when mum wasn't there but may be trying to. If I may help you in this delimma, I am happy to do so. You may e-mail me through this venue. I wish you the best dear, and hope you protect your heart from further damage.

Answer 3

Sometimes with the women being consideratly older, than, and more mature than, IE: Sounds like shes been in a few relationships that have soured. I would be afraid of not being able to live up to her expectations. IE: Comparing you to her many. It will hurt. She might be slightly embarrassed at the fact you are so much younger than her too. Sounds like she wants you around the bedroom, but doesn't feel comfortable taking you home to mom and dad, since they possibly have grand children your age. If you two are serious... Then Take her and get the F*** out of dodge and stay away from family, that is where you will recieve a lot of drama. They will also compare you to her EX's, and that crap can destroy anyone. You have 2 choices.... One choice. Would be confronting her and her feelings, as to why she didn't want you around. and then make your final decesion depending on her response.

Answer 4

Don't even worry about the age gaps its not a huge problem. But she's right her feeling seem all over the place, what i can't understand is if she loves you soo much why would'nt she want you support and love at difficult times? the best think to do is to let her know your there for her no matter what, give her the space that she wants and when shes ready she will come to you. :D good luck

Answer 5

Blending families is very difficult. You two may be perfect for each other but her oldest has to get along, too. My oldest and my old girlfriend couldn't get along at all, though my daughter really tried. There isn't anything you can do about that.

If she is 32 and her oldest daughter just had a baby, the family situation sounds difficult. As much as you love her, you shouldn't force the issue and get into a family situation that could spell a lot of trouble for you and yours. My ex remarried a couple of years ago to a man who was on his 3rd marriage and had two troubled teenage girls. They are very sweet but into a lot of rebellious (shall we say) behavior. My kids were very friendly with them. But once they were all living together in the same house, the real battles began. My oldest and her mom are now alienated and the step-dad's daughters moved in with boyfriends as soon as they could.

You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. I'm not saying it can't work ... I'm saying it is soooo much harder than anyone can imagine. It isn't just the parents who have to get along for this kind of marriage to work. I wouldn't push it. It is far easier to be single wishing you were married than to be married wishing to God you were single.

Answer 6

age isnt a problem lots of people have age gaps in the relationships and they get married and have kids. you should try everything possible that you can do to get the women you love back. dont give in and keep your chin up. it seems to me that you love this women very much and she feels the same so if you both feel the same you should tell her that you want to get with her at any cost. shes the only person you want to be with and thats how it will always be. i think you need to find it in yourself to ask her to get back with you. i hope everything goes well and i hope you do get together and stay together and live happily. you sound like a brilliant lad and i just hope everything works out for you. good luck hunni x x x x

Answer 7

Let her go. She's got issues. You have your own kids to raise. When she's ready to tell her family where to step (in her 30's she should grow a backbone) and figure out her priorities once and for all. You don't say if her child who had the baby is grown, or is a teen herself, so that might complicate things. I say step back, be respectful, give her the distance and time she needs and go about your life. You've got little lives depending on you too.

Answer 8

Easy - been there - Leave her.... Hard as it may be, she'll never give you what you want..

She'll listen to everyone else before you - even though you'd be perfect.. Family comes first and rightly so - BUT - you also have a relationship, and her getting hassled by her daughter shouldnt change the way she thinks about you - but obviously has..

The elder daughter resents you & if the mother listens - No Hope! Sorry... You need to come first sometimes..

Answer 9

First off, you need to learn how to write. Spelling, grammar, composition, punctuation, syntax - it's all important!

Maybe you don't think there is an age gap problem. I think your girlfriend thinks there is. She already has three kids. You are like a 4th kid and she's probably tired of having to raise you too.

If someone needs a 2 month break from you, catch a clue. Move on - find someone closer to your own age. Your girlfriend seems overwhelmed and confused. She needs to get her own head together before she can even begin to think about you.

Answer 10

if your love is true than age does not make any difference. just give her some more time and if she really loves you she will surely want to be with you again. if she is taking a lot of time then just ask her clearly but not harshly because that may backfire. be there for her and she'll surely understand. all the best. may everything turn out well for you. god bless.