I am married with two young kids and my husband is going to prison..?

Question

He has been convicted of a crime he did not do, but since he has a past when he was younger (just theft nothing violent) he was basically assumed to be guilty. He was at first in a halfway house, and we got to see him regularly, nearly everyday and he could still work but something happened, though not his fault, and he has been kicked out of the program and is now in jail and I fear that he is going to prison now. I don't know what to do or how to deal with this. I am very depressed right now and hate how unfair the world is. Our two kids, especially the older one (he's three) need their dad. He is the best dad in the world and a great husband. The oldest needs his dad and is very close with him and asks about him all the time. I am not handling this very well. any advise about dealing?

My husband did not commit this crime. He did make a bad decision and ended up in possession of some stolen property, but he was convicted of the theft of the items basically from, in my opinion, his past record of theft which was over ten years ago when he was a young man. His case did not even go to trial, which still baffles me because I don't think there was enough evidence to convict him. I don't think his lawyer did a very good job and I feel like he was pushed into pleading guilty by the prosecutors and his lawyer, who seemed to lead him to believe that pleading guilty was a good option for him. I really don't understand what happened still to this day and I feel the justice system has cheated him. You are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, but he was presumed guilty the whole time. He is not the same person that he was when he was younger and got into trouble. It is not fair to convict someone for something based on their past. Can't a person change?

I said my husband did not commit the crime he was convicted of, not that he did not commit a crime at all. Possession of stolen property, which he did do, is not as severe a penalty as theft. He should have been convicted of the correct crime, not something more severe. He wouldn't go to prison for possession of stolen property.

Answer 1

i have the same situation,but my husband did do the crime. we have 4 kids 8,7,4,2 and he has been in jail for almost 2yrs. and it was hell at first but every day it gets easier because its getting closer time for him to come home, he got 5yrs. but the first probable yr was the hardest for me, i moved into our new house and sleeping with out him you will never get over, but all you can do is count the days until he comes home. if you need someone to talk to you can email me anytime.

Answer 2

Darlin', if he was in possession of stolen property, then he DID commit a crime, even if he had no intent to do so. I am not trying to be mean, but you need to stop making excuses and wailing at the cruelty of fate and deal with the present, not the past and especially not with "If only".... That said, there is a wonderful on-line community at http://www.prisontalk.com where you can find thousands of people who know exactly what you're going through and can provide both information and emotional support.

Answer 3

Call Family Services

Answer 4

Get in a support group --- apply for welfare if you need it --- also ask family/friends for help - let them know what's going on.
When a person faces trial, the jury has to weigh the preponderance of the evidence - and if there's not enough in his favor then he is found guilty. When he gets out of prison, encourage your spouse not to be around people who are troublemakers or be in places that are known for criminal activity - see if there are groups available to help ex cons get a fresh start - have your male relatives pitch in - they can plan activities that include him and help him make better friends.

Answer 5

Many prisons have programs that could be of assistance and so do many churches and ministry programs as well. If you ever want to just chat or need someone to just let things out on I'd be more than happy to talk. I'm a graduate student in psychology and finishing up my Ph.D. Feel free to drop me a line any time you want.

Answer 6

your husband is convicted of a crim he did not committ, ok, but then he is kicked out of a halfway house and that isn't his fault either?? The only one to blame for what is going on is him, the best way to deal with your children, tell them something like there daddy is in the army at least give them some dignity that their father isn't a loser. Let them write letters to him (or draw pictures) I feel bad for your kids.

Answer 7

Please ask the prison chaplain if there is a program for people going through what you are going through.
I bet there is. If not, then find a support group of some sort even if you have to go to an AA (I suggest Al Anon the program for spouses) meeting and explain your situation. Someone will be willing to help you sort through this, its just a matter of putting yourself out there and asking for help.
Best wishes to you.

Answer 8

I think you need to see a counselor and maybe there are some support groups in your area for women who have husbands in jail. I would also talk to your family and friends and make sure they know what is going on so that they can offer support when you need it most.

Answer 9

Are you for sure he did not do it? Are you one of his alibis? Take care of your kids and of your home and love him and when he gets out you can be reunited with him. What evidence do they have that he did or did not do this crime? You may need counseling and help for this too. How much time does he have to serve?

Answer 10

girl my sister in law is in the same predicament basically so what you have to do because its in the states hands now .. Take a lot of family support.