Does anyone think marriage is a waste these days?

Question

I'm Greek. In my culture what I know, not many people divorce or at least the divorce rate is not as high as here in America.

It seems that so many people that I encounter have been married at least once or twice here in America.
With all the unfaithfulness and decrease in family values, do you think its a waste to get married these days or believe that marriage is not as sacred as it used to be?

I mean personally I'm 25 I have never been married but when/if I do, I plan on never cheating, leaving the woman, literally until death does us apart, isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about?

Answer 1

yes marriage is supposed to be forever but if the other cheats or does something so wrong cant be forgiven it is best to divorce but if u find someone u love deeply it is not a waste

Answer 2

I understand where your coming from, my mother herself had 3 marriages her last ending up with her husband having a girlfriend. :-( sad i know .. anywho .. I got married just a few years ago (5) prior to that i always said "I'm never gonna get married" Well guess i was wrong. LOL But i see my relationship will last and my husband and i will grow old together unfortunately not many will last past their 3rd year. I agree with you ppl have lost "family values" and what it means to be married to someone you love not lust. I say screw the rest they obviously don't have their ducks lined up or wouldn't be having multiple marriages. Wait and be 100% sure the one you chose is the one you want to be with forever, love isn't on a schedule you have your whole life to be certain the one you marry has the same thoughts and values as you do about marriage. I believe in only ONE marriage and believe it should be that way with everyone. Marriage isn't a waste and don't let the fools who ruined a sacred thing between two people by having many marriages scare you away from one day having your own. You know what you want out of life/marriage and I'm sure the person you choose to spend it will view your same points and agree.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the person and if you are married to the right person. I also think a lot of it has to do with how young you are when you get married. I was married the first time when I was 18. It lasted 5 years but my husband started smoking crack and doing drugs and I didn't want my daughter who was 1 when I got married around that so I left. The second time I got married I was married for 8 years and had a son with him and had another daughter who was 1 when we got together and my other daughter was 5. He didn't really help with the kids and I felt like a single parent even though I was married. Then he started going out with a guy he worked with all the time without calling or anything and after about 2 years of that I said enough is enough as I had talked to him about it several times but he didn't want to change it. I never went out with my friends or when out without him and was always home and never cheated in either of my relationships as I don't believe in that. I am now with someone who thinks like I do and when we go out we go together. Most everything we do we do together and I think that is a big plus. You have to be with someone who thinks like you do and that when you do things you want to do them together. Neither of us believe in cheating and feel that if there is a problem you have to talk about it so that you can do whatever you can to change it so that you are both on the same page in the relationship at all times. This is the best most loving relationship I have ever been in and it has only gotten better since we got married. There is no jealousy and trust is not an issue as we never give each other a reason to not trust the other one and the arguments are few and far between but it isn't always easy but when you are with the right person you work through the hard times and it only makes the good times better.

Answer 4

Honestly, I am starting to wonder if marriage is a waste of time. I can't believe that I am this cynical but I am. People marry for good times only: as soon as there is a period where there is a problem, someone states that she is "unhappy" and wants out. I thought marriage was supposed to be for life - that a couple should work together to improve their marriage. Nowadays people just want the quick fix - so there are extra-marital affairs galore! Why go through that nonsense - just to say you are married. People change - especially women - so the person you marry is not the person ten years later. That ten-years later person may not want to be committed to a life with you. My advice is to pick a woman who has integrity and who shares your lifestyle, religious and child rearing values. Then love her to death! Don't marry unless she is the "one!" Don't marry until you have learned to put your wife first - with her emotions, in bed, etc. If she is a woman of integrity, she will recognize your efforts and will more than reciprocate. If you meet a woman who lacks any of the qualities I mention above or if you lack any of the motivation to do what I am telling you to do, then stay single until you are ready and until you meet someone who fits the above broad description. One last thought: each and every day you must love (action verb) your wife by letting her know in your words and your actions. Good luck!

Answer 5

I think that people are getting divorced more now because we live in a society were everything is disposable. Including the family. Also, years ago divorce was looked down on. Woman that had no choice but to stay married in the past are becoming more independent and are able to change there lives and futures. I have been divorced once and Have been remarried now for a year. When I went into this marriage I knew there were things that needed to be worked on but I loved him..,...one year later the things that needed to be worked on need more than work they need a complete makeover. He puts me down constantly, I can do nothing right in his eyes and he's driving me nuts. I do think that marriage is not as sacred as it used to be. I do feel sad for that but, here I am thinking about separation. So, yeah marriage for me is a waste of time and your freedom.

Answer 6

YIKES!!

Well there's a whole lotta answers on here I just don't agree with, but whatever...

I personally believe that the divorce rate is climbing for several reasons...but I think the main reason is that we just live in a different culture than we did even 20 years ago.

Getting married and having kids etc, just doesn't cut it for many people any more. It's not a bad thing, I just believe there is a conscience awakening happening...sometimes we feel that we get forced into situations or decisions that we may not necessarily agree with only to realize that later...

but the biggest reason is that many of us get into a codependent relationship which is doomed from the beginning. If you ever hear anyone say "I've lost myself" or "I need to find myself", you'll know they suffer from weak boundaries and can't necessarily carry on a relationship because they aren't strong enough to decide what is right for them and what is wrong...

that's my $0.02!

I think marriage is great if you can find someone that you can truly have a mature, meaningful and respectful relationship with!!

Good Luck!

Answer 7

I think people have forgotten the true meaning of marriage and faithfulness to one and only one person. I myself am getting married for the second time, and I have to admit that I didn't really get to know my first husband before marrying him. If I had, I would have known he was psychotic and never married him. But I really know this man, and I love him more than I ever thought was possible. I think people need to truly get to know someone before getting married. And we all need to base our marriage on the Bible. If we did, there would be much much less divorce, and a happier society altogether.

Answer 8

Marriage today has been diluted too much and doesn't seem at all to be what it should be. I guess many people no longer say "I do" to the questions "Do you accept to take ...... and be his/her wife/ husband, in sickness and health, in poverty and wealth etc... till death does you part." Yet that biblically is the gist of the union.SO, it having been made irrelevant, marriages that follow surely do not make meaning in that regard.Probably, a new word ought to be coined for the kind of unions we call marriages now.

Answer 9

Not at all no. I feel it is a good thing to get married and to stay married because you truley love each other and are committed. Divorce rates are high and sad but i still feel it is not a waste and never will be!

Answer 10

In America it isn't as sacred as it used to be, mainly because of the media. Whatever we see on t.v. is whatever we do or think is right, well most of us think that. As of right now its a waste, why get married when you'll just lose half of what you got in a couple years by gettin' divorced?

Answer 11

if people are not serious about love and marriage -- then it is a waste. unfortunately, they mistake lust for love... good moral values and religion play a vital role in marriage. think of paris hilton -- all she knows is to go out and party with friends. she never had any REAL problems, she lacked experience in LIFE so she has never learned the true concept of "unconditional love" do you honestly think she has a chance at marriage? she cannot even survive her own engagement. ... unconditional love is when you love your spouse so much you are willing to go through any hardships TOGETHER. .you are there for him, and you WANT to be there for him and vice versa.

that's why they make you say out the vows loud: "IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH" "FOR RICHER OR POORER" "TIL DEATH DO US PART" -- these people don't take these words seriously... they think this is just some cheesy stuff you say when getting married.

think of how you love your own child. -- unconditional
no matter how smelly he gets -- you still love and miss his smell
no matter how ugly people think he is -- he is still handsome in your eyes
you want to give your everything for the well-being of your child.
that's how you should love your spouse also.
it's a great feeling to be in that state when you love somebody so much without expecting anything in return. of course it would be better if he felt the same. so choose your partner wisely. doesn't have to be good-looking. if he/she is capable of that love.. then go for it.

also people get married because they want a WEDDING, but they never asked themselves, if they are ready for MARRIAGE.