Married 18 yrs., lately we find more things wrong with each other than right. I am unhappy and I think he is too, although he want admit to it.
2006-06-09 03:04:16 · 16 answers · asked by cammy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi Cammy,
In my experiences I've found that a trial separation can be healthy sometimes in efforts to renew a marriage provided that both parties are in mutual agreement. Also, I've watched others go through this who have waited to do this when the relationship had degraded so much that each person left for the separation with intense animosities and in my opinion that will only make working things out all the more difficult. I've found that if two people are mature and recognize the need for 'space' during a relationship and don't wait until the arguing and fighting have begun to dominate the relationship then it's much easier to be apart and still genuinely want to work through the problems.
Best of Luck!!
2006-06-09 03:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very careful about an actual one partner out of the house seperation. It can end things.
Maybe he won't admit problems because he is scared you will leave him and he doesn't want that.
Try to get him involved in the things the 2 of you used to do that were fun to you.
Plan a short trip to someplace neither of you have ever gone before and if money is an issue then pick an activity nearby that neither of you has tried before.
Lots of times if you think back to when you were happy and then recreate what you were doing at those times, the good feelings will return.
Love is an action, feelings are ours to control, we should never allow our feelings to control us, or we will find ourselves messing up something that was really important. If you have made it 18 years there is something there that can be saved with work.
I wish you the best.
2006-06-09 03:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by yeller 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there's some truth to the expression "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." An exception might occur if the couple was staying together for the wrong reasons and then discovered that living apart was not so bad. Depending on over variables, that might be a good thing. As with separations, I think affairs can be good or bad too.
Whatever you do, be careful. Good luck Cammy!
2006-06-09 03:27:08 · answer #3 · answered by a1_guy_4_fetish_gal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say a seperation would be the answer. However spending more time with each of you focusing on yourselves individually might help. Usually spending too much time together makes it feel as if you are cramped space wise which leads to a falling out. If you take time apart to do things you enjoy as individuals, you might be surprised the difference in how you view each other.
2006-06-09 03:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by anderson b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes it is good2 take a break,but most separations end in divorce. Have U tried marriage counseling? Trust me it helps 2 B honest with each other
2006-06-09 03:12:16 · answer #5 · answered by Bab-E@Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Separation is one step out of your marriage and should only be considered when your sure you want both feet out, and the environment within the marriage does not allow you to logically decide whats best in or out of the marriage...it is not a time out from being a husband or wife but a time to reflect whether your going to continue to be one.
2006-06-09 03:18:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may or may not. Cant say either way for sure but you both may very well need help and counseling here! Maybe even marrital counseling. Talk honestly and calmly with him and see how he feels about this and tell him that you just want to listen and hear what he has to say without talking back or responding till he is completely done and wants to know what you have to say in response.
2006-06-09 03:18:56 · answer #7 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what you do during that separation.
First of all, do you love him? Are there things that still attract you to him?
A separation is a good thing for both of you. But please, don't just do it for a change of scenerey... the grass is not greener on the other side. If you feel loneliness for him, go back to him, Fight for your love!
2006-06-09 03:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by NIshzhoni 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband and i seperated for 1 week and realized that we can't be without each other, that was 5 years ago, since then we have had our moments but more good than bad and we love each other more than when we first started dating
2006-06-09 03:37:08 · answer #9 · answered by mimismom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sometimes help however it might end the relationship as well see a marriage counselor
2006-06-09 03:07:49 · answer #10 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋