When should I worry about my son's social development?

Question

My son is 4 1/2 and seems to develop relationships with other kids his age, as long as he knows them VERY well. And, as long as I am around. Last winter, I signed him up for a ski class. He LOVED the skiing part, but would not interact with the children at all. When the class came inside for hot cocoa or to play games, he cried the whole time until they went back outside again and he could ski. He does this every time I sign him up for any class to try and socilize him. Is this normal? Does this mean he is introverted?

Answer 1

Your son is only 4 1/2 years old. You should give him more time before worrying about this. He may not have fully devoloped his social skills yet. Give it time.

Answer 2

This is normal behaviour until about 6 or 7. Kids in that stage usually play parallel to each other, but not with each other. Like when in a room together, each would be playing with their own toy away from the other.
It doesn't mean he's introverted. If he's introverted, then he wouldn't even enjoy skiing, that's and extrovert hobby. As a parent, i understand your concern, so try to dig into it and get info about it so you can at least have a peace of mind. i put a link down below so you can check it out.
Don't worry your kid is perfectly fine.

Answer 3

It sure means he's introverted, thats what the word means.

But I doubt he has a problem. Check your own history (ask your moms and dads, other relatives) if you (or your spouse) had similar behaviour. Think back how you felt and handeled situations like that.

Does he spend much of his time alone with only one adult? Mom or dad? This makes many childeren very self reliant. Being alone is not a problem to them but being cut off from what they want will be. Comunicating how they feel is usually done in one way. Waah!

41/2 an age that social skills are developing and crying to get what you want is a skill... though one thats not very desirable. Try to teach him there is a alternative. This will not solve problems in 'strange' groups but will give him more to work with when having that problem.

This is somewhat sketchy and by no means meant to be complete. Just a few thoughts that came to mind.

Every kid is unique... some are more unique. Behaviour in kids usually needs serious observation to determine if anything is 'wrong' or needs adjusting. But this sounds like a normal kid if thats his biggest problem so far.

Answer 4

I would start looking into a little more - start talking to your doctor etc. He is only 4 1/2 so I wouldn't start worrying about it too much but it dosent hurt to be informed. I understand as a parent we have a idea of "normal" in our head and when our children don't follow that it makes it really hard to handle.. I would suggest maybe invite some kids over to play at your house. Try to get him familiar in his own surrondings. Next, is he in school or preschool, if so how does he act there. If he isn't in school yet, my major concern would be that he acts like this when he starts school. My 4 year old daughter is the same. She talks about friends that she has at school but for the most part she plays along side them but thinks she's play "with" them. Perhaps try putting him in something that uses team work, soccer, t-ball etc. Perhaps once he see's the other kids acting as a 'team' he'll join in. Don't take him out of his single sports like skiing, even if he starts coming out of his shell, he will probably always be a child that likes to have time to himself as well. Best of luck to you!

Answer 5

Yes GIVE IT TIME. I was exactly the same when I was little. I cried all day long in kindergarten and 1st grade. But I'm fine now! Don't worry. As he grows older, he will learn to get over this fear--little by little. Be patient, and don't force him to be social. Let him go at his own pace. When children are FORCED to do something they aren't ready to do, they get traumatized, in a way.

Answer 6

I suggest that you enroll him in a daycare, even if it is only half a day. Young children do need socialization skills and day care teachers are trainned and educated to teach our toddlers just that. Crying to get his way is something else a good day care teacher can help him work through. It sounds like your son needs daily interaction not just from time to time. Good luck and I do hope you take my advice.

Answer 7

He's just a little shy.
My daughter wouldn't talk to anyone byut me at that age. I made her be polite and respond to direct questions like "how are you" and I made he say hello to people when they greeted her.
She's 22 now and I can't shut her up. She's very independent and has lots of friends.

Answer 8

He is so young,, please don't worry yourself about him early,,and at that age,,he doesn't need to socialize that much yet..

He may be happy and content playing w/ his toys.


You will go through many other problems and will forget about this one.
( my child would pull at his pants,, then after that he started blinking his eyes,,, then he would move to another habit,, I would stay awake all night wondering what I was doing to cause him to have these little "ticks" ,,until my neighbors son started chewing holes in his shirt, and my other friends daughter started pulling her eyelashes out at night................so I said to myself,, O.k. If he wants to blink his eyes that is fine w/ me.. )

O, one more:
My youngest son did not have a lisp until he met a new friend who did,,and he picked it up,,thank goodness his friend went to speech,,because he stopped. We reminded our son that wasn't the way he was suppose to pronounce a certain word and he stopped soon after that.... )

Answer 9

i think you should keep forcing him to socialize. he'll appreciate it in the long run. try by gettin him to play with children that share the same interests. everyone likes to color right? also talk to him more. have full-fled conversations with him as you would with an older kid. talk to him about what he likes to do, eat, his favorite bath toys, anything to develop a trust is conversation. then eventually he will talk to other children as well as his mommy.
:) GL

Answer 10

I truly would ask his doctor...Stuff like that with my grandson and he is 4 I always tell my daughter to take him to the doc. and it always works for the best then we all can stop worrying about him ,or take care what is needed if something is wrong. Good luck