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Question

It was a cold rainy morning,so cold the drip off the end of my nose froze when it hit my jacket. I hunched up like a dog performing an indecent act on a football and turned down the street. My girl had left last night and hadn't come back....she was a bit put out....well she was slightly mad....okay she was really pi$$ed at me for wearing her underwear again. Hey I was totally out of clean stuff and she had left a pair on my floor!! I said I'd do my laundry today but she left anyway. Where could she have gone??? Slick Willie's to get rid of that stain on her dress?? Who knows,she'll be back cause I got something she wants...

Answer 1

Exactly...her panties. Yeah, they're that lacy, good kind..Vicky's Secret's stuff, you know?? Black lace. I'm sure these set her back at least 40 bucks. I know I jumped her as soon as I saw her twirling around in them...that's how she got that stain on her dress...I turned another corner. Godd*mn, it was cold. And those panties weren't exactly keeping the boys warm...if you know what I mean. Yeah, I still had on her panties. Still hadn't done the laundry. I was kinda hoping if my girl saw me with her panties on, she'd feel sorry for me and put my clothes in the wash for me. Should have thought a little harder on that one...I thought I saw my girl down the block. Couldn't be though...not at Joe's. Not at this time in the morning...I MUST be hungover...

Answer 2

And when she comes back, I'll be ready with the hose. Last time, it wasn't cold enough, but this time I believe that I really will be able to freeze her in her tracks. The freezer I bought last week was just big enough to hold her. Once I spray her down, the temperatures will turn the water to ice immediately and then I'll be able to store her away for when I really need her again. Oh, yes, those clones will make nice little slaves in the future . . . . As soon as they find a way to clone humans. But I've got all the time in the world. Or, at least until the warranty on my freezer runs out.

Answer 3

American citizenship. that was how I'd been keeping her with me all this time. when we met she only knew one word of English: yes. and boy did i get her saying it a lot that night. and the night after that, and the night after that. but then on the next night, she had learned another word: no, and i found this quite a bit less agreeable. we yelled at each other in our respective languages, til we both wore our voices out, then she started crying, and, well, i can't handle a woman crying, so we had a chat. now, my Spanish is not so great, but i got the gist: her visa was about to expire, and it would be back to Mexico with her. so, i told her i would marry her so she could stay. well I'll tell you, i got some more yeses that night, and every night for the next couple of weeks. but you see, my girl is like any beautiful thing that grows near the equator, it needs just the right environment to survive, and needless to say, my trailer was not that environment. but she'll be back. for while America's streets are not really paved in gold, they are paved. for weeks i had been dangling that carrot in front of her nose, the big, sweet carrot that was citizenship. but that carrot, while it would swing back and forth all day, she could never be able to catch it in her teeth. i couldn't marry her, i was already married. now I'm not stupid, i knew this could not go on for ever, eventually she would find out, or her visa would finally run out, which ever came first.

Answer 4

Jello, yes she can never say no to jello. Late at night we fill the bath tub to the rim and play leap frog. When we aren't in the mood we watch t.v., it is a small t.v. on top of a much larger t.v. that doesn't work, we get a signal using tin foil and pastel-colored pipe cleaners. Yes, she probably went to slick willie's, rather hansome lad... I wonder if she's paying him for his service in another way.....oh well, I will miss the silk underwear though....

Answer 5

... then she had turned her back and was looking else where she had not noticed me slip a pair of the sink underwear behind the chair. I loved those pair so much and never wanted to let them go. The next day it was not as cold as it was the day before, so she decided to ask her parents to come over for lunch, what a wonderful time we had talking and catching up on things.......

Answer 6

something really really nice it's a big juicy piece of meat which she used to love as a dog. You see it's a really long story...one day i found her wandering the street like a stray and decided to take her in, but then one day i came home and there was a woman sitting on my couch licking herself...

Answer 7

...and I'm not going to give it to her. You see, I hate cops, and she wants to use me as her alibi. There's no way I'll be able to hold up to their questioning if they come around looking for her and she says she was with me. Man, I should have guessed she something was wrong when she showed up at my door drenched in blood. She said she was going to get rid of her boyfriend. But, I didn't think she would kill him!

Answer 8

and then I woke up.

The End