Do you think people self sabotage their relationships when they are going well?

Question

If so, why? I feel like anytime I have a pretty good thing going I end up messing it up royally, how could I stop this?

Answer 1

I wish I knew how to stop it. I think when something appears "too good to be true" we get scared. I personally look for the worst to happen in relationships because most of my relationships end. But I think most of my relationships end because I spend so much time looking for the worst to happen. It's a vicious cycle though now that I'm aware that I do this, I've been trying to change.

Good luck.

Answer 2

well i know i do and have. in fact im at the end of a relationship now that i sub conciously sabotaged. it was a real ggod thing but because of the rough begginning which was caused by him i couldnt believe that i wouldnt have those same problems to deal and cross again. and i think because yes.. ny low self esteem and insecurities in general ,made worse by a few extra pounds made me even more insecure petty untrusting, jealous and out right unlovable. noone was getting anything from the relationship anymore and what i needed he couldnt and didnt want to give because of my behavior and what he wanted and needed i couldnt either a continious circle.i dont believe someone like me could be good enough for someone to not cheat on or try to make a fool of and take advantage of because i hate myself so much so in turn makes me suspicious etc etc and i sabotage it cause i love him so much and want him to have better but not at the expense of my feelings being hurt or made a fool of ya know so yepper we do tend to sabotage what we tend to think we should or cant have!!

Answer 3

I suspect you're being too hard on yourself. Relationships fail for all sorts of reasons, not the least of which is differences in style between the parties. There's usually no fault involved.

Some few people do sabotage their own relationships on a rucurring basis, but that's rare and is usually due to some phsychological problem.

Answer 4

Have you considered that you are just not ready to commit??? Why be in such a hurry to pair off??? Live your life. Do not feel you must stay with one person so soon. Look at all relationships that start out when both are young...They fail 95% of the time. Relax. There is nothing wrong with you. You sound smarter than most.

Answer 5

It's interesting to hear a woman talk like this. Most of the women I've been with are always "right". I think that once you mature and begin learning from your mistakes then you'll have a better chance of being in a lasting relationship. Good luck.

Answer 6

People sometimes can't believe that they deserve happiness. When everything is allright, they are trying to find sth bad to ruin their relationship! They are kind of self-disastrous. So, don't worry! You are not the only one who end up the perfect relationship!

Answer 7

I think it is the urge to test this 'something good' to know whether it last or not.We want to know whether it is for real or not and so we give out test on it to see how less fantasy and more reality it is.So instead of cherishing it,no matter how temporary it is,we take it for granted and expect it to withstand our tests.I think to stop this behaviour is to put aside the feeling of doubt we have for this 'something good'.Receive as it comes to you and put no effort on modifying it.

Answer 8

Yes I do, fear of committment, fear of reection, control freaks, anger issues are all some reasons why people sabotage relationships.

Answer 9

I tried that once but the love was to strong so we are still together

Answer 10

I believe you are right. It's like we push it way over the edge and see how far we can go...