what you think:??

Question

what you think of this situation: I lived with this guy for 16yr. I have a 16yr daughter(this guy is not her biological dad, but raise her for her whole life); he kept telling me that he wanted the same things I did in life(marriage and at least 1 more kid-one of his own) except we never did those; he only wants sex when he is in the mood.(which only on friday night and saturday) if HE isnt tired,( works at 4 30am), he is 50yr(next month) I am 43.
I went and bought sexy underwear and nighties and he is not interested and I even go to bed naked to get his attention and he says he's tired, leave him alone.(I dont feel any fuzzy warm feelings like when you first dating.)actually never have, thought the feeling would come in time. but now I regret ; after 16yr with this guy that I "settled' for a convenience in living. instead of looking for "LOVE". but what to do now.??? after 16yr. I cant seem to get him to notice me. or to spend time with me. he says he works 16yr a day and I dont.

actually he "says' I dont. and I say that I work 8hours a day outside the home and come home and work another 4 hours(none paying) doing wash,cleaning and cooking his dinner.but he dont see the work I do at home. and that he "chose" to stay busy and not be home. Now at his job, they told him he HAS TO TAKE 1 WEEK off because he has never missed a day of work in 3 years of working there. but when I ask him to take 1 day off(a "hooky" day with me; I take 2 in a year-for myself) he didnt. he said he had to work, now he says well cant I take a WEEK OFF TOO. and I cant because I dont get it paid if I take it off, and WE just bought our first house.

how do I get him in the mood more??? how do I get him interested "in me" and not his work?
why does he think that I dont get tired after working 8hours and coming home and working another 4 hours.???
what to do???

he doesnt want to get married( thats why lived together for 16yr)
2) he tells me he dont want sex because he is tired because he works 16 hours a day and I dont---but I work outside the home for 8 hours a day- 5 days/weekly. and then another 4 hours at home. cleaning/cooking/and doing wash!!!
he wont go to any counseling--- we have no insurance and no money to spend on a therapist//// money wrapped in NEW HOUSE.

these answers dont help none!!!!!!! give me more advice on how to get him interested.....

im 4' 11. 115lbs ; im average. he has never said I was sexy or anything.
he has no time to watch tv, I rent a video or watch tv, he watches maybe 10min then out the door he goes, or he is busy doing other things,
he keeps busy, busy
so no he doesnt have a day off, like I do.
we just bought a house and needs a little work,
I have a 16yr, if I go out to meet someone to meet my "needs" what do I tell her?
that its ok being a relationship and seeing others too is the right thing to be doing?? teens catch on what parents are doing. I have never gone out. she will be suspicious.

Answer 1

first of all i feel sorry for you... im in a similar stitution, im married and wife acts like your guy, its hard and my advise is to first tell him of your needs... if that does not change things, then maybe if you don't want to leave him, look for someone to fulfill your needs. if that not an option, maybe getting out maybe be the only thing left.... good luck, if you would like to talk more, e-mail me

Answer 2

So the man is tired.

Here is some advice to get him going.

Have you tried videos? This will sure get his attention. Man can't resist p0rn.

Don;t jump on him right after he comes back from work, Let him change gears from work to home.

Does he have any off days? Get him in the morning after his work day, men seem to be easily aroused in the mornings after a good night of sleep.

Also, if you are overweight, loose some weight, it will be good for you and your man will love the new look.

Men love short skirts and highheels and no hair down there.

I hope this helps. Good luck.

Answer 3

I feel number one that you should marry or not live together anymore. Seek help and counseling and spice things up in the bedroom for him with new ideas and things and even new posistions! You also may want to see a sex therapist together! He just may be bored of the same routine in bed all of the time!

Answer 4

After 16 years, it going to be hard to get him to change. Seems like he is taking everything you do for granted. He needs to stop and look at what is really important in life, and get his priorities straight.

Answer 5

well if hes at work all the time find you a sugar daddy theres plenty out there trust

Answer 6

mmmm I need to think m ore B4 ansering this Question