My gf is a great gal, but there is two major problems. she wants to get maried but i'm not ready, just to ensure she would stay with me i told her i would take her to a place to pick out an engagment ring, the next problem is im from a strong line of italians and my gf is african american and my parents think shes okay for a gf but not for a wife they want me to marry an italian girl.and what makes this situation worse i told them i wouldn't marry my gf to make them happy, but on the othetr hand in a way i proposed to my gf. I can't just come home one day and say look mom heres my wife, and i con't just tell my gf we can't get married what should i do. I love my gf and don't want to loose her what should i do?
2006-06-08 20:10:54 · 11 answers · asked by Mr.Right 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Commit to her! If you’re not ready to make a commitment, break things off with her. Otherwise, you are just using her.
2006-06-08 20:15:48 · answer #1 · answered by huzzah_b 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well first of you should have been honest!!!!
Do you really love her? Well if your answer is yes, then you should marry her and tell you family that you are going to marry the girl of your dreams!!! No color, race should stand between you and the girl of your dreams!!!
It your answer was no, then why if you don't really love her would you be with her in the first place? And why on earth would you put yourself in this predicament if you only want her for the heck of it!!!!!
Second: If you love her and want to marry her but you do not feel ready, do the following:
1. you have to tell your parents that nothing they do or say will make you change your mind about your girl and that you ARE going to marry her and that you lied because you felt that they will be unreasonable!!
2. you have to talk to your girl tell her that you are not yet ready to get married BUT that you really want to get engaged, you can be engaged till you feel like you are ready to take THE BIG STEP!!!
If she really is THE ONE for you she will surely understand!!!!
Your biggest mistake was to be dishonest with your family as well as your girl and you can make it all right to be honest with both parties!!!
Good luck!!!
2006-06-08 20:23:36 · answer #2 · answered by kelly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well decide who's life do you wanna live? yours or your parents;who will be dead when your living out your golden years their way.
see i have a best friend who has kids, never married and working 2 jobs, living in an apartment. and her boyfriend has no kids, not married, working in corp office making BIG bucks, living in his own house, not to mention he is Irish-Italian-catholic, which she is none of those. anyway his parents automatically disapproved, never even meeting her. so right before his mother died he left her got a new girl, then married and had 1 kid. now he is miserable. he wants more kids, she does not. they sleep in separate bedrooms and that's only when they are home at the same time, and needless to say but nothing is the way he always imagine his life to be. but he's now stuck because he LOVES his kid.
Also I'm going through similar things & let me tell you it's not easy being judge because of the way god made you.
if you can accept her for who she is then that's the bottom line, & your family needs to accept that of you. if they don't then they don't respect you or your decions.
and on top of everything else IT"S RACIST!!!!!!!!
people need to grow UP!
P.S. if you come to stand agaost your parents and they still don't like it then tell "go adopt another kid as your robot" and walk out, then wait for them to call you. if they love you then they will come around, you'll see!
2006-06-08 20:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by lost 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Buddy have you messed up big time...... first of all you should have been honest and straight up with the g/f and told her you were not ready for that commitment...... if you have not bought the ring and even if you have, it is time to pay the piper...... you need to tell this girl how you feel and why....... if she ever finds out that you have lied to her, boy howdy, now is the time to come clean my man...... yes, you might lose her, and maybe you wont..... but she deserves better than this..... and as for the family, you need to tell them that the color of skin is just that, and nothing more...... it is YOUR heart not theirs...... but , getting back to the other.......... IF you are NOT ready then you are NOT ready...... at least have the guts to be honest and tell her...... God bless
2006-06-08 20:16:27 · answer #4 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What u should really do is ask ur self how much u love this girl....
Do u love her enough to marry her someday? Bottom line u will spend the rest of ur life with the one that u marry not with ur parents... If ur parents love u they will accept whatever u choose..
2006-06-08 20:16:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey,
Stop listening to momma man!!
Time to decide what you want for YOURSELF!
Marry the girl or break up but YOU decide. You should also consider for next time, go with the truth right away man, that would have saved you the stress you're feeling right now.
Go get yourself outta this and have a sleep.
2006-06-08 20:15:53 · answer #6 · answered by carlysweetlips 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i think ur situation is really at disaster point but i must say to you that (only if u r asking me a solution to ur problem) plzzz dont mind but i must say that u must be a good boy of ur parents and make them feel that they are right.but u shud always try to make out ur gals positive thinks to them and show them ur choice is not bad. give some time to them(to ur parents) and as far as ur gf is concerned telll her to understand ur feelings nad share ur problem with her that ur parents thought of her. Convince both of them ur parents and gf and try to make the problem go by ur side and u can haddle ur problem . and if everything is not going by ur means tell ur gf that u r not understanding hers nature she wants to marry u to be with u but she is not understanding. how *** a person to stay with a person who doesnt understand that persons feelings. and for ur parents they are ur PARENTS they will only think GOOD of yours My name is arpita and id is arpita_arppu@yahoo.com any time u need me u can mail to me . wish i cud help u more anyways bye
2006-06-08 20:41:18 · answer #7 · answered by rima 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant please everyone in life, it may be hard but put your feelings and what you want to do before others... if you love your gf and dont want to lose herlet her know its just no time yet as for your parents they cant always get what they want. ut regardless they should be happy for you if thats what you want. It is your life.
GOOD LUCK
2006-06-08 20:17:31 · answer #8 · answered by Xenia J 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stand up to your parents, and talk to your girl friend, but if you don't want to lose her then why aren't you ready for more commitment?
2006-06-08 20:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The matter is what you want. Listen to your subconscious mind and you will find all the answers.
2006-06-08 20:15:05 · answer #10 · answered by binbinshr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋