My mother is a Korean born U.S. ciitizen. She married my father at the end of the Korean war. My father is caucasian. My mother does not understand how kids grow up in school and socialize. She gets angry if I joke around in front of her. She focuses entirely on me and my life to the extent that she is always afraid I will fail or make some life threatening mistake. She advises me on every detail of my life including the food I choose to eat for each meal (which she insists I must eat 3 times a day and rings a dinner bell to summon me). She lectures me like I am 10 years old. She says when I look for a job, I must be humble and learn to accept minimum wage without demanding what is not offered. She does not like my self confidence because I am arrogant. She buys all my clothes and chooses what she thinks is the right style. She wants to know everything I do and think. She says it's because she is my mother and loves me. She cannot be happy until I get married. Help.
2006-06-08 19:58:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Living with Mom isn't working out--and rarely works out for many people.
Whether you've always lived with her, or you recently moved in with her for whatever reason, I highly recommend you get a place of your own. You'll never find a wife living with your mother. Get your personal life in order to the way you want to live it, then bring your mother into your life to care for her when she needs personal care. Or get a good enough job to hire people to help with her personal care.
Understand your mother's history will help you understand why she worries so much. It's like having a parent who grew up in the depression. Her unique life experiences cause her to believe these things are important. You can understand and respect her without living with her. It's possible. I promise.
2006-06-08 20:12:03 · answer #1 · answered by Maggie Mae 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit her down with a written letter to her. So that all is in writting.
Tell her that you will no longer be treated like a child. Set down your boundries. Then list the consequences for the trespassing of those boundries. Tell her that her constant talk to you is sucking the life out of you. If she crys and says oh I am such a bad mother .......and so on. Don't give in to her. Just say, mom I love you, but I can't live your version of life'
then try your best to get out on your own.
2006-06-22 04:07:19 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words, MAMMA's BOY! Grow up and act like a man. You enable your mother and whip out exactly like she says you will. Stand up plant a spine in your back and do the right thing. Tell mommy that you love her too and run like hell so the rest of your life isn't spent having mother match your grananimals and have aspirations of being a bus boy!
2006-06-23 00:40:13 · answer #3 · answered by want2flybye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either grow up and move out or accept with a smile everything your mother says. She has no reason to change, so if you want something different, you must change. If you don't, keep sitting on the sofa.
2006-06-20 20:49:52 · answer #4 · answered by adamsjrcn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mom is just over protected,for being strict, she had brought the culture from her country and applied it to you,she governs and control your life and decision because you allow her to do,dont be afraid show her that you are adult an d matured enough to be free what ever you want as long as it wont harm you!It means she loves you so much and molds you as what she wants you to be!She is you mom and respect her, i appreciated you so much for that,but please grow by your own well,find something that makes you happy,yes you must find girl that is different from your mom and live separately and live your own lifestyle and soon you will realized the essence of life being free from the dictator mom!
2006-06-23 02:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by tutax 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is an extremely wise person. If you had believed her. I would want to marry you. But I guess you are an American female and want to fight the good fight. Then later you discover it's all about the secret groups and they have no place for you. Go ahead believe in her love for you.
2006-06-09 03:21:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I. You will not find a wife based on the relationship you just described with your mother.
2. You're 44!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!!!! You have let this go on for sooooo long that the only way for you to change things is to MOVE OUT!
3. MOVE OUT! I guarantee that if you continue to live with your mother NOTHING will change.
Good luck!
2006-06-09 03:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by NYCchic 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move out and get on with your life for god's sake. Your 44 years old. How sad is that.
2006-06-22 16:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only alternative is to move to your own place and just visit your mother, you also have to realize that she had a different upbringing than you, read the joy luck club by amy tan
2006-06-23 00:18:50 · answer #9 · answered by rewcatherine 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I had to live with my mother..I think I might eat my own arm off.
Please get your own place.
2006-06-09 03:12:30 · answer #10 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋