I really need all your input on this question?

Question

I'm getting married and i beleive i should have all that i want on my wedding but my fiance dosen't want to rent out the place i want beacuse he wants to get married in a church, i love church but i want to do something diffrent, i go to church every sunday okay maybe i miss a few but 99.9% of the time i go. My plan was the Tea garden in San Fransisco beacuse its beautiful and we have to book it in 2 months advance or more, i feel like that just beacuse he's paying for the wedding, and he's older, he feels that he has complete control over the wedding, what should i do? Is he being unreasonable or am I

Answer 1

I dont believe your making it unreasonable but maybe you two can compromise.maybe the wedding at the church and the reception at the tea garden or the wedding at the tea garden and his choice for the reception.I think that whatever you two choose on will be a good choice and I wish you nothing but happiness. Good luck and CONGRATULATIONS!

Answer 2

I found when planning my wedding that my husband had very few opinions on what the day should be like and basically let me plan the way I wanted. He only voiced an opinion once (something to do with the flowers) and even though it was something that I didn't really want...I figured it was pretty important to him if he actually said something. I also feel that when you get married you are making a commitment to someone who you love and respect and if that means making a compromise once in a while then that's what you do. We've been married for 10 years now and all I can say is that the decisions we made about the wedding are pretty small potatoes compared to what life throws you. If you can't compromise now how do you expect to work out a serious problem when it arises.

Remember that the wedding is about the TWO of you. If it's really important to him at least consider it. I know my husband took the whole promise before God thing very seriously and therefore the Church was the only option for the ceremony. Perhaps you could have the reception in the garden.

Good luck!

Answer 3

I don't think you are being unreasonable. In reality the wedding is the woman's day. We having been planning this day our whole lives and we know what we want. Its about time to break tradition I am tired of church weddings and God isn't going to be upset if you choose the Tea Garden. Or you could compromise and get married at the church and have the reception @ the Tea Garden.

Answer 4

My opinion its the "women's day" always have been. Probably why back in the day the "brides father" paid for everything as the groom let his new wife to be and family handle all the where and when details. Sit him down express you desires about YOUR wedding and what you expect, remind him us girls fantasize about this day before we even meet the man. Don't let him ruin your fantasy Hun :-( you'll regret it. Explain how much this means to you and how happy it would make you for him to make your fantasy come true.
Another option, marry in a church and reception at the tea garden. Marriage is about compromise you both need to give in a little to get a lot back.
If he still refuses and doesn't have valid reason (religion/tradition) then you have to ask yourself this. Is this what i really want? Do i want the rest of my life being "controlled" by my husband acting like my father figure?
I hope you the best in what is decided and a long blissful marriage to come. If he loves you and you love him. You both will find something that works for you both. Good Luck

Answer 5

i think if he wants the wedding in the church, he really wants the wedding blessed by the church, and is focusing on that aspect of the wedding as more than just the physicality of the place. it is something the two of you really need to sit down and seriously discuss. it could make or break your engagement/wedding. since u do attend church regularly, i think it would, in the long run, be important to have your marriage recognized by the church. i told my fiance i want to get married on a cruise ship, but he wouldnt budge cause he says he wants our marriage to be recognized by the church, and if the union takes place outside of the church it wont be. this is probably one battle u arent gonna win, and chances are, he will let u have your way about pretty much everything else: guys dont care much about flowers, colors, etc. good luck to u and really think before u say anything that is going to get u guys into a huge fight. i dont think he has more say in the wedding since he is paying, but if this is the only way he is going to be happy, i would suck it up and do it his way: after all, marriage is about give and take. :)

Answer 6

It's his wedding too, and if he's brought up with a church background, it's understandable why he wants to do it in a church. I think that adds to the specialness of the day because it's such a sacred thing. Why not have the reception at the tea garden? Or at least find some compromise.

Answer 7

HAVE THE WEDDING IN THE CHURCH AND THE RECEPTION IN THE TEA GARDEN IN SAN FRANCISCO. THAT IS ALL I COULD COME UP WITH. U ONLY HAVE A FEW MONTHS AND U R ALREADY STARTING OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT. STOP THE BITCHING AND LET THINGS BE THE WAY THAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE. Y CANT HE DO WHAT HE WANTS. U HAVE TO STOP BEING SO SELFISH. TO SPEND ALL THAT MONEY ON A PLACE THAT U WILL ONLY VISIT ONCE IS RIDICULOUS. SAVE THE MONEY AND PUT IT IN A FUND FOR YOUR CHILDREN'S COLLEGE . COME ON NOW DO U KNOW HOW HARD MONEY IS TO COME BY THESE DAYS.

Answer 8

honestly girl,ur opinion matters,but u have to look at the reasons behind them, u want a different place because its beautiful and sounds to me he wants the church for more of the moral and senitmential value it has,maybe his dream wedding was a church,mine is! He might feel by being at a church,he is standing in the presence of God as he's commiting to you,honoring u,and being thankful,all depends on the reasons!good luck,let him have the church,and u pick the honeymoon or agree,compromise!

Answer 9

You are both being unreasonable if you are refusing to talk to one another and reach a mutual/happy medium. The two of you need to sit down and really talk about your ideal wedding. It's give and take. Be happy that you have a groom who's actually interested.

Answer 10

Why not comprimise - get married in the church and have the reception at the tea garden