What is he really doing...thinking....?

Question

The reason i've been asking for help, is because my family/friends are gone for a lil,
so im alone through this hard time, so i thank you all for your guidance and advice!

Well, My boyfriend told me today, he doesnt believe in Jesus, and that were
on this earth to live, thats it. Im a christian, so its hard to hear this from
someone i love.

He told me that being a christian and living for god doesnt get you anywhere in life..
Then i told him that my uncle/aunt got blessed,and still do. My uncle has a great family,
hes a doctor, has money, gets blessed everyday!Then he said that his uncle/aunt
have it good, have money, and their not christians/living for God. What would i say to that?

My boyfriend doesnt believe in Sin. He think's nothing is wrong, we do what we want.

He has a mood disorder, i've noticed. One minute, he believes in Jesus, and loves me,
treats me like a woman. Then the other minute, he says he doesnt believe in christ,
and curses, and yells at me.

Why does he do this?

He tell's me too, that he's going to find a new girl, who will treat him better, and be so
much better than me. Does he really mean that, or just trying to hurt me?

Thanks!!

Answer 1

Girl, if you're a Christian, you know the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked (in marriage). And the reason a Christian dates is for the sole purpose of getting married. He sounds manic. He needs medication. You should pray for him, but like the other woman said, get away from him. You won't be deserting him. He'll live. And perhaps his aunt and uncle do have it good, but it's not about what we have here on earth. It's about what we get after death, and the saved individual gets eternal life in heaven with Christ. Tell your boyfriend to stick his foot in a burning fire, and then ask him if he wants to spend eternity with his whole body in there. Yes, it does seem like nonbelievers are just as blessed as Christians. But just think about what comes after you die. Remember, you're a stranger here. You don't belong here. You're just passing through.

Answer 2

No one but your boyfriend can tell you why he is saying these things and what he will do (like getting a different g/f). If your boyfriend doesn't believe in Jesus anymore you will have to decide if you, as a Christian, can deal with that... I guess it would depend on how important a role religion plays in your life and if you could be with someone who doesn't believe the same as you. Him yelling and cursing at you is no good no matter what anyone believes- no one deserves that. Your boyfriend sounds like he really isn't sure what he believes... maybe he is saying the religious things to get a rise out of you.... Bottom line he should treat you with respect and support you and your beliefs regardless of what he believes

Answer 3

i guess the question i need to ask you is, why would you wanna be with a guy who doesnt share your belief in god? He thinks nothing is wrong????? man how scary is that? Look sweety im not gonna tell you how to live your life but do you wanna live the way you are living now for the rest of your life with him up, down and all around? One minute he believes in Jesus and the next he doesnt? Then you know as well as i do he doesnt believe, because if he truly believed he wouldnt change his mind from one minute to the next. I truly believe he is serious about finding someone else not because of anything you've done but because he doesnt believe in Jesus. It also sounds like he has some control issues............

Answer 4

I'm sorry girl. You've got it bad. Well, I am Christian and my boyfriend goes through phases where he believes in God and then he doesn't. I think it might just be a male egotistical thing cuz they want to be the higher power instead of believe in a higher power. Forcing your beliefs on someone will not work. You can't make him believe in Jesus. He's gotta find him on his own. As for you treating him wrong, I think he is just a jerk. You can do better than him. You deserve better. God would appreciate you trying to help him in his hard times but I am totally positive that God will understand if you find someone else who has the same morals and values as you do.

Answer 5

Dear Person,
Unless he is willing to get help, run -- run fast. I know someone who's lived with "your boyfriend" for years, and it is no fun!!!
You said he has a real medical problem, so he probably needs medication. However there is the possibility that he is oppressed, or something of the sort. Ask your pastor about oppression, and possession. Nothing to play with.
Anytime you have a boyfriend, you have to think what if this gets serious, what if we marry, what if we have kids.... Can the medical thing be passed to my kids.... can I deal with a hubby that is more than your normal moody, kids too?
You may be young, but if you are old enough to have a boyfriend, then you are old enough to think ahead.... Don't get caught up in something that will make your journey a REALLY rough ride. And the yelling will. Its called mental and emotional abuse, and it hurts people just as much as anything else does. Just takes a lot longer to heal - if it ever does...
Another thing, a lot of guys loose their "religion" when they want things that you aren't supposed to get until marriage... You know what I mean? And, a lot of guys "get religion" when they want to make an impression on a girl.
Find yourself a guy who has a genuine relationship with YOUR Father, God. A guy who knows who he is. No shadows cast on the current guy's medical problem, I mean simply - a guy who is comfortable with who he is, and likes himself, a guy who is complete in himself and Christ.
A guy who won't change his mind or ask you to do things you won't do.
Be careful, pray a lot, and use wisdom.

Answer 6

inthisskin22x,

Your boyfriend is manipulative, immature and abusive.

You are at best immature, too.

It is OK to be immature because you’re young. He is only going to become increasingly manipulative and abusive.

If you date and then marry a non-Christian, you get the devil for a father-in-law. There may be a nicer way to say it, but you must realize that it’s true. Every person chooses to serve God or the devil. He has made his choice clear, hasn’t he?

The farther you go down this road the worse it will get. You have low self-esteem, or you wouldn’t allow him to treat you like he does. Get out of that relationship and don’t start another until you have a healthy respect for yourself.

It is great that you’re a Christian, but you really don’t understand what that means yet. Ask yourself what Jesus would do in your situation, and then do it without second guessing yourself.

God bless.

If you really mean business and want help, then you will get out of that mess. After you do, send me an email, and we’ll talk. You don’t really want help until you are willing to get out of that mess.

Answer 7

I don't know why your b/f does what he does.

God has never promised that we would not hae difficulties. He has told us that we would have afflictions and adversities and go through tribulations and times of trouble. doesn't sound like very much fun. However, we can take comfort; "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God [is] faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear [it]." (1Co 10:13) God is there to help us to get through trial if we will be faithful to listen to Him and follow Him.

As a christian, you should never consider uniting with a non christian. "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?" (2Co 6:14)

I found out the hard way, that if you and your mate do not have similar beliefs, then the relationship will be full of problems. But God has blessed me, and now I have the privilage of having a mate with very similar beliefs, and our relationship has been almost perfect.

The best solution is to dump him before you do something really foolish like get pregnant by this boy.

Then, really get to know the next boy before you start a serious relationship with him. Make sure that he is respectful at all times. Watch to see how he treats his mother and sister(s), and you will see how he will treat you, but he will treat you worse. Make sure that he is stable and willing to support you. Do not tolerate a lazy man who won't get a job. Most importantly, if he is not seriously commited to God, don't even consider a relationship with him.

God is good; he has allowed me to learn these things through personal experience, and now I hope that he will help you to learn it the easy way.

Answer 8

The bottom line here is that you need to end this relationship and move on for a couple of reasons.

First of all, the guy obviously isn't very nice or stable. Guess what. He's only going to get worse. He's not going to get better. You're not going to change him. He's not going to change. He's probably going to verbally abuse you as long as you're with him. You're going to start believing what he says about you, and then you're sunk.

Second of all, if you're a commited Christian and he's not, he's going to pull you away from God. It almost never goes in the other direction, so don't fool yourself into believing that staying in the relationship might win him to Christ. It isn't going to happen. If your faith is important to you, move on.

Just in case I wasn't clear before, I think you should dump your boyfriend.

Answer 9

From the sound of it, he sure doesn't treat you right by being cavalier and telling you that he's in the market to find another girl. That's a bad move by a real man's standards. Plus, he may be testing you by going toe to toe with your religiosity and one-upping all your predictable arguments that you give him.

But with his apparent mood shifts that you've noticed, I'd suggest that you need more conversations going on between the two of you about MORE serious matters, rather than getting carried away by rationalizing your physical attraction to each other and do things you'll later regret.

Talk more about him to your folks, family siblings and friends. See what they think, too.

Peace be with you!

Answer 10

Oh please don't stay with this guy! The Bible tells us to not be unequally yoked! You need to be with a Christian if you want your life to be all that it can be. I married a man who wasn't Christian, thinking that I could make him see the love of Christ and he would change. He was angry and bitter and it affected everything in our lives. I loved him but that wasn't nearly enough. Of course there are people who aren't Christian who have plenty of money and a good life here on earth but what about their future? What about where they will be spending their eternal life? What are they going to do on Judgement Day? Your boyfriend is way off center. Please get away from this person; he sounds bi-polar for one thing. You deserve someone who loves you the way he loves Jesus.