My boyfriend and I have been dating for awhile now. He tells me constantly that he loves me and he always affectionate. But he's had a past of cheating before he met me. He tearfully confessed that he didn't want to be that person anymore because he really loved me. The other day he let me into his email to handle a money dispute for him and there were some suspicious emails between himself and a girl that he was "talking" to before we started dating. How can I tell if he really loves me, if he's really committed to this relationship. Are there any signs to look for, I know that I love him, but I can't do this if he doesn't love me.
2006-06-08 17:52:53 · 9 answers · asked by the_umbrella 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
In response to some of the comments: yes, we have sex QUITE often now and it's...awesome, and the emails weren't leading me to believe that they had gotten back to together but that he might want to. I couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or serious because I'm pretty bad at this as you can tell. So I think he could've cheated on me but I don't want anything to do with him even if he just thinks about it.
Thanks guys! The answers so far are helping me a lot.
2006-06-09 01:30:19 · update #1
it seems that your lacking confidence in your relationship, but thats understandable b/c of his past. but the thing is you shouldn't compare his present actions with those of his past, he may think that you don't trust him, which is deffinatly not what you want. if he's been faithful to you for the whole time that you've been together, then there is probably nothing to worry about, if he hasn't, then there might be some problems
2006-06-08 17:59:46 · answer #1 · answered by SaRsHy 1 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If Someone is cheating, they may reflect that back at You, by acting suspicious about Your activity. Because if they are cheating, they think everyone is. Just ask Him about the emails. You should be able, due to His past behavior, to go into His computer, with Him there, to establish everything is on the up and up. My husband is welcomed to look on Ours, if He ever feels that there is a need. Like Dr. Phil says there should not be any pro-ponderous of a doubt in ones behavior. If He has nothing to hide, there will not be a problem. If He starts telling You that You are being nosy, or invading His privacy, then You need to worry. And if You just have to know, look in the phone book under Polygraph Tests. For about $200.00 You can get three questions answered. Another saying Dr. Phil says, (because You didn't say if He cheated on You), that if Someone cheats on You, you need to discuss it unless, and until, the Person cheated on feels like their questions have been answered. Hope all goes well. God Bless, and Best Wishes
2006-06-09 01:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by Muffin Ann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A very similar thing happened to me. I was head over heels, telling anyone who "onlined" me, that I was in a serious relationship and not interested ... and found out he was meeting other women online for dinner dates. We'd talked exclusivity and he was the first to say "I love you" yada yada. I do believe he loved me ... but I seriously think men have different ideas of "love" than women - i.e., when a man says "I love you" I am now convinced he's really saying "I love to make love to you"; be with you - whatever. But commitment doesn't seem to be in a lot of men's vocabularies or dictionaries. I guess we do have to take into account, after all, that men are a different breed and something in their genes calls out to them to "procreate" - have sex. It's an animalistic, ape-like thing ? lol However, I'm feeling that same thing here in my 40's like I never felt in my 20's ... oh, sorry, I've wondered off the path again ... :)
2006-06-09 01:07:59 · answer #3 · answered by patticakewithfrosting 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how long is awhile? do your homework e-mail the woman like its him i know this is sneaky but he has a sneaky past. if you get a friend only response you will know. then if you have nothing to worry about forget it. if you get a e-mail that tells you different then pack and bail. ask her how are you. would you like to get together sometime. when and where. ask if she remembers the last time they got together what they did. test her memory and relieve yours. be tact full about questions. you don't have to take this advise its only something i would do if ever i was in that situation. i never have been. good-luck
2006-06-10 04:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by shiznick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may never know, not to be nosy or rude but he probably is having sex with another woman, maybe not, his vibe might come from that, or he is really a gooood guy. again, not to be nosy, does he ever have sex with you at all? does he have job? there might be hidden answers.
2006-06-09 00:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess you have to make a decision on either keep it to yourself that you read his emails or you confront him with it and admit that you read more than his money dispute. if you're doubtful then do the latter.
2006-06-09 00:58:14 · answer #6 · answered by mookie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him what he is doing and watch his response, but if you have any problems trusting him don't marry him, personally i think he is playing around on you.
2006-06-09 00:58:58 · answer #7 · answered by cowsformeatandmilk 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once a cheater always a cheater
2006-06-09 00:56:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
be careful
2006-06-09 00:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by boo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋