My grandfather and I were very close when I was young. But it seems as soon as I hit 16, he couldn't stand anything I did. Now, at 18, he never has anything nice to say about/to me. I'm not a bad kid, but he makes me feel like I'm the worst person on the planet. He hates the way I dress, he hates my friends, he hates everything I do, and he makes it known in the most hurtful of ways. Is this a normal thing? Generation gap? What can I do to avoid conflict?
2006-06-08 17:21:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sometimes, older people like grandparents forget that when they were young, they wanted desperately to have their own identity -- stuff like different clothes, and sometimes they forget you are not a little kid anymore! Then they think you should be a perfectly grown up young lady, and not be a teenager -- in other words, they don't get you because they forget what it was like to be where you are now.
Plus, times are different. Things happen faster now and you are growing up faster than kids did 40-50 years ago.
You, on the other hand should remember that they've seen a lot of things in their life, and a lot of what is new to you is not new to them. Kids had the same feelings back then, and yeah, they did stuff too. It's just that they got older and saw some stuff was immature and grew out of it,
To get along try to be patient and listen. Make them listen too, by not getting angry and telling, or pouting, or whatever. Make them respect you and give them exactly what you want.
Plus keep in mind that they are right once on a while!
2006-06-08 17:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by tina t 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He no longer understand you. It's a normal generational gap. My grandmother is the same way: Never has anything nice to say about anything I do now. And I'm not a bad kid either, hell I'm not even a kid anymore, I'm 20!
This really is going to be all on you. You are going to have to deal with his views of you now. He is old and set in his ways. He's not going to change. So, you have to change at least a little when you're with him to stop hurting your feelings. Try to conform to the way he wants you to be when you're around him. Sit down and TALK to him, honestly. He has been on this earth longer than you have so, SOME of his reasonings for disliking your lifestyle now are justified. But some of them are going to be off cuz he's old and outdated. lol But try to come to a common ground to rebuild your relationship.
2006-06-09 12:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by xtraluvly03 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
16 is brutal for both the teen and the grandparents.
For the teen it's a hormonal moody time of constant change.
For grandparents it's the inability to cope or accept the teen's erratic behavior.
This is YOUR side....Maybe it would help if you understood his opinion on the matter.
2006-06-09 02:00:57 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey you were once his pride and joy Perhaps he feels you are growing up too fast and disregarding his advice.May'be he's disappointed in your lifestyle.Get him on his own,tell him your sorry if yoy've offended him.Then say I love you papa. You are not apoligising. You are reaching out to him,I'm sure he will hug you, and let bygones be bygones.Blood is thicker than water..Good luck lass
2006-06-09 01:45:37 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
as you get older and more mature you start to realize how crazy you adult figures actually are. THIS REALLY UPSETS THEM. good luck and god bless
2006-06-09 06:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋