All by my self?

Question

Between my husbands ex. who is only involved with her kids for the fun things, her family which causes problems in my house, my ex who was once a great dad to my child but has now seemed to drop of the face of the palnet, my exs family who one moment tells me to take him to court for child support and the next saying how hard life is for him, my husbands family who just leaves me annoyed and tired, my family who has only seemed to really care about me since I got married to the man of their dreams, and my husband who is a great dad when it comes to palying with the kids but wont touch anything that deals with fealings, or supporting me. I have no freinds to talk to because my husband has ran them all off and I'm left with crying kids waunderung when their mom/dad is going to come see them and a husband who tells them thats life. I know i should be abel to handle it, but I'm really failing between work school and family, I feel like I'm losing it, can any one help me here.

Beforer i got married i was all by my self with my daughter but life was so much eaiser, i knew that the life i was gettin into would be difficult I guess I never thought it would be this hard

I have tried talking to my husband about many of thses issues and his answer is always the same, if you don't like the way i do thing, you can always leave. He offers to give me some money. The problem there is I have no right to his kids and I could no more live without them than my own child.

Answer 1

You have to make a stand and say no more! Its time you take back control of you life.Stay focused, your working really hard with work and school and setting a wonderful example for the children, they will grow to respect you for it. Get in touch with some old friend 's or make some new ones, it's important to have someone you know you can talk to. (especially when your loosing it ) or you think you are. You just hit your breaking point, now you have to do something to change it. Good luck and when your feeling down keep your head up and remember the kids.

Answer 2

Contact a therapist.

You sound like you need to talk to someone who can help you sort things out, make sense of everything and come to terms within yourself about things that have happened in your life.

There's a lot of stuff in that question that I can't answer, but I can sense the desperation you're feeling. If you feel you're losing it, set up an appointment with him/her, go there and just spill everything out.

The only place you can go when you're at the bottom is up. Keep in mind that things will get better with each little step forward that you take. After a while you will look back and see that you've gone miles.

Answer 3

Wow you have alot on your plate. I am sure a guy is the last person you want to hear from but here it goes. You need to do what is right for yourself and your kids, NOT the ex's, NOT mom and dad, and NOT your in-laws. When it comes to your husbands feelings well a man is taught to keep those to himself even from his wife. I know that it seems like a bunch of crock but it is the Gods honest truth. It took me a long time before I opened up to anyone. The only advise I can give you on his feelings is talk to him about it and get him to open up to YOU. From the sound of it you have step kids, try and keep there minds pre-occupied and then it wont seem so bad when they don't come to see them for long periods of time. I hope this helps. And if you want I will be your friend.

Answer 4

There are even more issues than the ones you innumerate here. These are as much a cluster of the symptoms as of the problems. If you can go to some really good counseling (and that's harder to find than you think since counselors have their own agendas that they try to impose upon you and yours!), and maybe some at a graduated fee basis so you can save money (although "you get what you pay for and you pay for what you get" is as appropriate here as anywhere) in order to "un-isolate" yourself and develop a "game plan" for recovery, you might find that will ease your sense of stress, having a plan, and increases your capability of handling some of the issues you have to deal with in the daily operations of raising kids. Your husband's participation in this counseling might be helpful, but IS NOT required, despite the common thought of completely untrained therapists (and even some supposedly trained and licensed ones). God Bless you and good luck.

Answer 5

You're wrong about one thing. there is no reason you "should be able to handle it".
There is no reason for you to live this way. take your husband to a marriage councilor and see if maybe he could pick up a clue. You deserve support and friendship. Blended family life is hard enough with out a checked out husband.
I would never put up with this. It's a deal breaker.

Answer 6

dear maim , start your book today and you should have a good bit done by christmas and then christmas will be another chapter .but leave off the spirits this christmas because you will just get the paper wet from all them tears..so be sure to put on there if the story you are trying to to tell is it truth or fiction ,if youve had all that going surely some one is with ya. im thinking what a big mess marriage is for some but isnt it weird how some get along and live to gether for 50 years .i know that they have there problems but wow ,ive never been married i do have a daughter from a love affair that did nt last to long i found out she was on drugs and i had been free from drugs around 10 years at the time no 9 years .i had a mean car wreck and like to have lost my life i laid out in the middle of the highway and things were still moveing in my home town then finaly the ambulance came and picked me up and people were tripping over everything the wreck people were praying for me aand with the help of the doctors and jesus christ i pulled thru ,i was in the hospital 2 months and in therapy after i came out of the coma i was in for seventeen days . a broke back they didnt even know i had till ywo weeks before i came home i had so many more injurys they never thought of my back . and they would set me up and make me sit for 15 minutes at the time. i met quite a few beautiful nurses but the most special one was a little fat girl and after the stay in the hospital was up i came home on friday the thirteenth,what a great day my mom and dad gained a lot of gray hair from my accident an d the stay in the hospital but i found out who really loved me mom and dad whom i had treated so bad for a few years. my crazy spell started with marjiuana. you know . and then drugs and then the years off my life and my parents from the scare and scares from the wreck i couldnt drive for 2 years and on a walking stick for 1 or 2 years ,my first excercise was that i had done everyone was so proud that i could do i was crawling and boy that was a start .they thought i was paralyzed on my left side well i was but with therapy and the good lord .some times i forget things what i was going to do but i just take things slow and easy and wait ,and so far its went awelll and it will contnue if i act like im a christian of course we have to talk to the lord and ask forgiveness cause we just human live and learn like my good freind use to say she was in her 70s then she would say live and learn 1 i hope this dont confuse you just think on it .oooo put this in your book too bye i just get carriedaway with this time in life its been years since ive talked much about he wreck .my mom died in january 10 ,04 bye and thanks for shareing your love triangle with us folks ...

Answer 7

You are not alone you have your kid's. Talk to your husband. I know it is hard but your time will come. Just feel confident that you can do it. I sometimes feel alone too i cry at night wishing i can get up and leave. But have no where's to go. I feel alone like i have no one. I have friend's but sometimes there not there to comfort me. Just be strong and hang in there hopefully things will get better. If you wanna talk sometime just write me my ears are always open [e-mail] Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 8

Boy, you have WAY TOO MUCH on your plate ! Unfortunately, that is the hand that life is dealing you now. ONE THING AT A TIME ! You just might find yourself having three conversations about three different things with three different people all at the same time, if you just concentrate on what is going on at that SECOND. I know that is what I am doing now.

Good luck.

Answer 9

why are you taking on the burden of someonelses responsoibility true kids dont ask to be here but when you allow your self to be taken advantage of even by your husband and his ex what does that say about you you have alife so live your theyre living theyres so why shouldnt you you letting all these important things fail around you to make other people happy what matters to you is imoportant and if your not happpy every tthing around you will suffer dont live your life gor other people no matter eho it is live your life for yourself god will see you through pray

Answer 10

Go to counceling.You are'nt crazy but you need help dealing with the crazy ones.Stand up for yourself,your feelings matter just as much as everyone elses.Sounds like you could use a few hugs to.