Tell me a good joke the best won will be chossen as the best answer!?

Answer 1

Sex After 50 Years, In The Same Place

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

Yes, she says, "I remember it well."

Okay, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old times sake?"

She says, "Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!

There's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.
He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble." So he follows them.

They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.
Finally they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence.

The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers.
As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching policeman has ever seen.
This goes on for about 10 minutes. Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

The policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing. I've got to ask them what their secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must have had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

Answer 2

A man goes into the ER for emergency brain surgery, and his family waits anxiously in the waiitng room. After a while the surgen comes to the man's wife and says, "Ok, we've done some tests and we've come to the conclusion that your husband needs a complete brain transplant. This is a very risky proceedure, but the best surgens in the country will be working on him, and it CAN be done." "Ok, how much will it cost?" Asks the wife. "It will be $10,000 for a male brain or $500 for a female brain." All of the men in the group get smug looks on their faces, and all of the women are shocked and slightly offended. One man finally gets up the nerve to ask the question that everyone is wanting to ask. trying to hide his smile he asks, "So why is a male brain so much more expensive?" And the doctor replies, "It's simple pricing proceedure. Since a female brain has actually been used, we have to give a discount on it."

Hope you enjoyed!!

Answer 3

After a car crash, a man had his head so severely burnt, that he lose his two ears. One day, he went to see a plastical surgeon, and the doctor told him that he can help him, by setting new ears on the man's head from a dead body. The guy's ok, so the doctor operates him.
2 days later, the man comes back to the doctor's office, the doctor asks him :
Why did you come back, do you have audition problems?
So the guy answers :
No, I can hear far better now, the problem is that now, I can't understand nothing

Answer 4

A doctor walks into the room with news for a patient.
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Paitent: Well whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is you have 24 hours to live.
Paitent: And the bad news?
Doctor: I was suppost to tell you yesterday.

Answer 5

A man named Joe walked into a bar on the rough side of town. The bar was packed, and the only seat left was between a biker and a harmless-looking old Chinese man. He reluctantly took the seat, ordered a beer, and looked over at the biker to his left.

Joe smiled and said ,"How are you tonight?"

The biker said nothing, but bared his teeth and growled.

Shaken, Joe took a big swig of beer and looked over at the Chinese guy. He smiled and said, "Hey, how ar--"

The Chinese man swept Joe off the seat with one swift movement, put his palms together, bowed and said, "Jujitsu, Japan."

Joe got up, dusted himself off, and sat down on his chair, moving it slightly farther from the old man. He took a gulp of his beer, wiped his mouth on his sleeve, and began to speak again. "Hey, Man, I did not mean to--"

Again Joe was knocked to the ground quickly by the tiny old man. He bowed again and said, "Karate, Korea."

By this time, Joe was getting a bit shaken, so he lit a cigarette and took a couple of puffs. He finished his beer, ordered another, and took a moment to reflect upon his predicament. He decided that he would have to tell the old man that he would not take any more abuse, and that he was just trying to make conversation. He began, "I don't know what your pro--"

"HiYAH!" The tiny old man slammed Joe to the ground, and again he bowed, saying, "Tae Kwon Do, Tai Pei."

Joe decided that he had had it with this little old man. He dusted himself off, slammed his beer, paid the tab, and walked out of the bar.

A moment later, he returned for one final attempt at communication. He said, "Man, if you hit me one more--"

"Whaaaah" THe Chinese man leaped out of his chair and tried to hit Joe again, but Joe swung first.

Joe put his palms together, bowed, and said, "Tire iron, Detroit!"

Answer 6

Special Report: Snow white was kicked out of Disney World because she was fond sitting on Panokio's face with her dress up screaming, "Lie, *****,lie!!!!"

Answer 7

How does a crazy person get out of the forest?

Answer 8

Little jonny and little susie were playing in the sandbox one day, they always tried to outdo each other so they started arguing, "i bet i got more matchbox cars than u do" says susie, jonny says no i have more, so they run home get them all together and come back to count them, sure enuff susie has more so jonny says ya well i bet i got more gi joe men than u do and susie says no way i have more so they run home gather em all up and bring em back to the sandbox, they count em and sure enuff susie has more, so jonny runs home crying....
jonnys dad sees him crying and asks what happened so he tells his dad the whole stiry and his dad says go back to susie and tell her this....(Whispers in jonnys ear), and jonny runs back to the playground and pulls down his pants and says "hey susie bet u aint got one of these"....
susie lifts up her lil skirt and says ur right i dont and she runs home bawling...
lil susies mom sees her crying and asks what happened, so she tells her mom what jonny did and said and her mom said go back to jonny and tell him this...(whispers in her ear)...
so susie runs back to the playground and says "Hey jonny", as she lifts her skirt again, "my mom says as long as i got one of these i can get one of those anytime"

Answer 9

two blondes were on theyre way to disney world they got there they seen a sign that said disney world left so they went home....

Answer 10

What did one lesbian frog say to the other?
We do taste like chicken.