what do u do if a toddler is mastuarbating obsessively?

Question

My two year old daughter touches her vagina all the time and sometimes uses objects also. I am a single parent so she has never seen this in the home or on TV. The therapist states it is normal and she is doing it because it feels good, however I think its a bit weird and feel uncomfortable when I catch her doing it. The therapist says to ignore her as long as she does not do it in public. I hoping she will stop real soon or I will have to intervene.....What do the people think???

Answer 1

It is perfectly normal. They are just experimenting. Although you don't want her to be doing it all the time (especially in public) don't frighten her and tell her it's dirty and wrong. She could end up psychologically scarred as an adult and be one of those poor women who never enjoy sex in a loving relationship because she was told that 'down there' was dirty. When you catch her doing it, just gently move her hand away and ask her nicely not to do that, then play a game to keep her hands occupied. She will soon calm down and maybe start to just do it in private.

Answer 2

When my daughter was 2 years old, she did not ever use objects near her vagina, the most she ever did was touch it in the bathtub, and I would gently tell her we dont play with our privates because if we do that and then touch our mouth or eyes it can make us sick (which you can get infection, stys, etc from that) .She gradually stopped - she was just discovering her new body parts. Now, if she had been doing that ALL the time (she only did it at bathtime)I would be concerned - but if she was trying to use objects there - I would NOT go to a therapist - she would be going to her doctor immediatly!A child that age does not just get the urge to stick objects inside of her.It sounds like a cry for help that needs to be investigated ASAP! As scary as it is to think any abuse may have happened to her - you need to find out. A child that age doesn't know how to tell about things like that - so the answer is generally in their actions and behaviour. You can also ask her, when she's doing this (along with telling her not to, that she may hurt herself) if anyone has ever touched her down there, or like that, and explain to her noone should ever do that - and start letting her wash herself down there with the washcloth, while you are there. But definitely get her to her MD and explain whats been going on.

Answer 3

Everything I know about mastrubation makes me agree with your therapist, it is entirely normal and healthy. If I were you, I would focus more on getting her to do it behind closed doors, in her own bedroom or maybe the bathroom. Stress that this is a private activity. Ignoring it doesn't seem to make sense to me if this is an issue that has been going on for more than a week or two. I would revisit the issue of her use of objects with your therapist, it seems to me that there could be a danger there if she used something inappropriate that could cause some kind of tearing, although obviously you don't want to give her a dildo and I can't think of an object other than that to suggest that would be appropriate for that. Anyway, best of luck to you and I would just keep an open line of communication between the therapist and yourself, see if s/he can suggest any reading material for you on this subject.

Answer 4

WOW. This is the first time I heard something like this in a 2 years old. Honestly I don't know what to tell you. I have 3 kids, 2 boys and one girl, and I never been into this. I guess you should do what the therapist said.

Answer 5

Not to alarm you, but you should have her examined for evidence of sexual abuse. I am a lawyer and have handled many cases of abuse on a child. It is true, that toddlers do explore themselves. However, if the behavior is excessive or compulsive, there may be more going on than simple self-exploration. It's called hypersexualization. An examination by your pediatrician should help (specifically looking for signs of abuse), as well as a session with a therapist trained to deal with toddlers on this subject might also help. Careful interviewing her yourself though -- if your questions are suggestive she might just agree for the sake of changing the subject or trying to please you with without really understanding what you are asking. Better to let the therapist do the questioning. Again, I don't say this to alarm you. 99.999 percent of the time the behaviors you are describing are completely normal. It's that other .001 we have to worry about, but don't worry too much. Just cover your bases to put your mind at ease.

Answer 6

It is normal for young children like this to do something that "feels good" and they don't understand it. My son is also 2, although I hate to see him do it, he does this whenever he has the chance. Look at it as not being masturbation but exploration, just like everything else that they are curious about.

I am an extremely cautious stay at home mom so he has not been subjected to anything odd but just picked it up once he started taking off his diaper.

It is important that you don't make a big deal of it (unless in public) since you don't want to make it seem dirty or wrong.

I know it seems odd but it's normal...unless you suspect someone has subjected her to something. Just ignore the act and see if it progresses into something worse.

Answer 7

Obviously you have had her to a therapist so are you reassured that she hasn't been sexually abused? That would be my biggest worry. I feel sure she will outgrow it as long as she is made to understand that it's not acceptable in public. You know, little boys do it often, usually when their diapers are removed for changing. Maybe your daughter just has a heightened sense of sensitivity. Don't make a big deal out of it!! I am certain there are other mother's who are faced with the same problem.

Answer 8

Its normal, but why is she seeing a therapist at such a young age? I would take her to her Dr to make sure she doesnt have an infection. If she checks out fine, then she is just exploring her body and sensations.

Answer 9

Re-direct her to only do it in the bathroom or her own room perhaps. Maybe saying, "that's something you only do in private" and pushing her toward the bathroom is good. I'm assuming that she's already potty-trained since the diaper is thick enough to stop most of it. Yes, it is very normal so don't worry too much. (My nephew was grabbing himself when we changed his diaper at about 8 months.)

Answer 10

My five year old has been doing the same thing for 3 years, her pedi says its normal and not to shame her. When I catch her doing it I try to distract her the best I can and if she insists on doing it I tell her its private and I make her do it in her room away from everyone else. Please dont shame her you dont want her to feel uncomfortable with her body.