getting past the past?

Question

ok heres the senario ive been hurt alot in past relationships and im in a really great one right now and im trying to not let it show that im so inseccure how can i stop being paranoid over every little thing, i know i have to or it will drive him away

Answer 1

The reality is that you are damaged goods.
PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED!
Listen, you know you have/had issues and It really was not fair of you to start a relationship with anyone, friend or otherwise until you have had time to heal.
Now what?
Chances are, you are gonna spend a whole lotta time feeling bad about yourself and the current relationship you are in because of it.
1. stop being judgmental

2. talk to yourself ALLOT! when you feel an "episode" coming on (no matter what the scenario) STOP & reason with yourself

3. remind yourself constantly that this person is NOT like the others and you have to grow up and DEAL with your emotions rationally

4. take time for yourself, make sure you do things to make yourself feel better about YOURSELF (you do not NEED another to validate you) although it is nice

5. proceed with caution and be nice!

Answer 2

Go shopping. Find some friends. Find a hobby. That's what I am trying to do. It's not easy, but hopefully your guy understands that a broken heart takes time to heal. I describe the heart like the mythical bird 'the phoenix'. One minute it's a beautiful creature, then in the blink of an eye, it spontaneously combusts. Then it is reborn from it's own ashes. It is a constant cycle of rebirth. Sometimes we have to wait for the ashes to stop smoldering....good luck to you.

Answer 3

Dont enable the previous thieve your present day. a million. settle for that it happened. that isn't the least difficult element to do, in spite of the undeniable fact that it is going to enable you to get on your way. The previous is a factor of your life now, in spite of the undeniable fact that it is not the main needed area. settle for the certainty that it could no longer get replaced by any potential. 2. replace your cognition to no longer sense as undesirable approximately what happened, and shrink rigidity that triggers going back to the previous; as an occasion, in case you have been embarrassed, tell your self do no longer hardship, all human beings gets embarrassed; countless rest procedures will shrink rigidity which could set off undesirable recommendations 3. stay contained in the present. This one is nearly difficult, besides, because of the fact the present is easy to take with none attention. understand that by using consistently using your present day time properly, you're consistently making a extra constructive previous for your self. 4. study from it. some thing solid consistently comes out of something, even regardless of if that is an exceedingly undesirable experience. discover the lesson in touch and attempt to no longer make a similar mistake two times. awful-Lesson occasion a million: "If i did no longer get busted shoplifting, i could've moved directly to armed theft and get shot by using law enforcement officers."(word: this did ensue to me) 5. Forgive. your self or those that have harm you. cut back some slack to others and your self. no one asks to settle for a undesirable reminiscence. human beings are no longer applicable. all human beings is carriers to make errors. that is how human beings are. And the only thank you to truly circulate on from a undesirable experience is to forgive the folk in touch. 6. If each and all the above do no longer help, then possibly attempt some journaling in a diary, or mag. yet be particular approximately what's bothering you. (From Wikihow) i understand no longer the suited answer yet possibly it is going to enable you to slightly.

Answer 4

give the relationship a try. all relationships are not the same. if you are really in love with this person, then you have no problem. you are bound to get hurt sometimes. the thing is to be able to bounce back and take what you learned with you. meaning take the good things and let the bad things go. good luck.

Answer 5

Love is like a gamble. You always have to have your shield ready. When your in love then it makes you feel things that you never felt before. That's what I hate about love. But inorder to go on with the future you have to let go of your past. It can take you as much as you need, but let him go. at the end of the day is your ex even worried about you? You should ask yourself that. Good luck!

Answer 6

Just remember that this person is unique. It is unfair to have the same attitude toward this person as the others. Live in the moment. If it's good, appreciate it. Don't look back. It's counter productive and could poison this relationship.

Answer 7

well i was the same way u have to stop careing what other ppl think and mak it all about you but still be you just date for a while basically sit back and take it a day at a time u will know if he is right and you can fake it guys dont know they are pretty dumb for the most part they think the same things we do does she like me does my breath stink things like that good luck

Answer 8

You can not control how you feel but you can control how you react and that is what you have to do. If you are feeling insecure but are pretty sure its not him but your past that's casing it, try to smile, don;t question, sulk or be angry. Over time you'll come to trust him if he's really trustworthy. Good luck.

Answer 9

Mind over Matter

Answer 10

let it go. you have to develop the "i don't give a sh*t" attitude.

I don't mean that you should be rude to anyone you date but you just shouldn't care if they leave you because if that's their choice you can not change their feelings so don't bother.

Once you stop worrying about it you'll find someone who just can't stand to be without you and you'll feel all your confidence swell within you.