How would you resolve this family feud?

Question

My mother and my sister have a hard time getting along. My mom tends to make things a little mellodramatic at times. My sister is stubborn and easily gets upset. My mom and sister have a tendency to point out each other's faults. They rarely can work together, and I'm stuck in the middle. How would you handle this?

I had them start coming to me, so that I could mediate. Hopefully this is work. Any further suggestions?

Thanks.
Aloha,
David

BTW, in response to some questions, my sister is 12 years old (almost 12 and 1/2). She cooperates for some things and not others (such as chores are a thing she doesn't cooperate about). Hope this enhances your thoughts.
Aloha,
David

Answer 1

Hi David, u r certainly behaving like a grown adult. well done. As for your sister she needs a kick up the butt, ask her who's paying the bills, puts food on the table n gives shelter, If shes providing it then kick the other person out otherwise put up n shut up.

Answer 2

If you are all together take your sister a side and tell her not to say anything that can trigger your moms attitude(sorry only word for it) Maybe you and your sister can get in the kitchen and cook a good meal for your mom and talk about a subject that can make them both happy to speak on. You are doing a good thing trying to mediate but sooner or later your going to break down. Before mediation just make sure everything is right with you before you fix their problems okay. ALOHA to you too.

Answer 3

daugthers and mothers fight the most! (personal experience). But, Sit them down and tell them how you feel about their constant bickering and tell them how it makes you feel. Being open and honest is the best way to get a problem resolved.

if younger sister (below 11)- unlikely but should try and help because dont want sister to repeat when shes a mom

if teenager (12-18) it normal. try to help but this is when girls tend to think they know everything and are tired of moms holding them back and setting limits. let time work its charm.

if older: you should really help b/c they may never speak to each other again. both women are independent and need someone (perhaps you) to set them straight.

HOPES IT WORKS!!

Answer 4

You didn't say how old/young your sister is. Does your sister cooperate when your mom asks her to do something or does she just refuse to do anything? Perhaps both are frustrated- maybe mom is frustrated because she feels let down by your sister and maybe your sister is frustrated because she feels your mom expects too much from her.

Answer 5

Just because they fight does not mean that they don't love each other. Your sister is very young...but your mom on the other hand has pretty much fouled out of the game of "MOTHERHOOD". She should know better and instead of you having to intervene, she needs to step up to the plate and act like the adult in the relationship.

Answer 6

I even have one in all those MIL types too. in case you do no longer choose to reason a combat, or argument, etc. purely blame the universal practitioner. that's what I did. "Oh his pediatrician says we would desire to consistently no longer take him out of the living house till he's two months previous. And if the toddler even catches a chilly contained in the 1st 2 months, the universal practitioner is going to confess the toddler into the scientific institution and could no longer enable him out for a complete week." "His pediatrician says no person would desire to touch him except they wash their palms relatively properly. Any an infection and he or she's going to hospitalize the toddler." "His pediatrician says that we would desire to consistently save the toddler's umbilical twine sparkling and dry. If it gets contaminated, the toddler would be admitted to the scientific institution for a million week." My in-rules concept we had some variety of drill sargeant/fascist for a pediatrician. while they could question why we chosen this manner of recommend and strict universal practitioner, we could say, "oh because of the fact she's the suited." Blame the universal practitioner...

Answer 7

Keep up the good work as a mediator

Answer 8

i do not have the answers really, i just hope your decision to mediate was not a big mistake. you may be able to get an outsider to mediate more effectively than you can, you are probably to close to the situation.

Answer 9

Your mother is the adult in this situation and should not be asking you to mediate. Stay out of thier fights. Be loving and supportive to each of them, but thier problems are thier problems, not yours.

Answer 10

That kinda sounds like my brother and mom......

Try just sitting down and talking without any yelling if that doesn't work, rememeber, she is a girl....... and about the right age to start rebelling......... These things happen..... ask your mom not to be soo harsh.........

If all else fails, call Dr. Phil