"What an interesting accent you have!" Compliment? or offensive?

Question

I myself have had the joy of hearing different "accents". Tones, pitches, lilting and almost singing voices. Some accents almost comical and some quite strange.
Yet I have over time refrained from asking about "accents". I think it can really put some people off. Plus it might seem as if I'm making a point about the difference between myself and them.

Do you like for others to point out your accent?

Raised in the South by parents transplanted from the North, I did not have much accent to speak of, and was quite comfortable that way. Now as an adult and having spent some time in the North, I get labeled as having an (admittedly slight) Southern Accent.

Is it silly for me to be put off by this? (it is a rarely done thing, as I really don't think it exists)
How do you respond to people who comment on your speech?

Do have other reasons why your speech is noticable, other than where you (or your family) originated from?

Holy biscuits Batman!

Understand I do not get my panties in a twist about people complimenting me on an accent! It's the folks who say it to pigeon-hole you and as a bit of a mild slam that gets my back up, even then I don't do much but laugh.

Think I'm come out of left field, see Dear Abby's column from May 22nd.

But thanks to all for participating.

Really appreciate the polling styled responses.
Good to know most people like being inquired about, as I am just a often the person doing the asking as the one being asked.
*Royal Blush, thanks for getting it! Agreed.
+Mr.Knowitall, thanks for the considered response, have a blog about dialect now!
>Patzky, what a nice spin on telemarketing
; ) & and if it's the clothes, just remove 'em!
*Big Mike, Thanks ever so much for the personal story. Sounds like you've never let the silly people get to you. Cheers on no regrets!
+Jen, I believe in curiousity as well. And am thankful that the many strangers I have approached have not been as put off.

Many other comments I might make as well, but off to Best Answer...

Answer 1

Bunches of great answers to this one..

Most of the time when I am faced with people who are not "from around these parts".. and I am told I have a nice accent, they are genuinely nice compliments, but there have been the offensive ones that will be more than happy to point out the difference of my words and repeat them over again with an exaggerated emphasis that I know that the jokes on me.

Is it a put off?..sometimes, but I sure hope not most of the time, since I know I have complimented others accents from loving the flow of their words, the ups and downs of their lyrical voices.. and just the differences and pleasure of meeting a 'different person'...

I worked many years at a resort with all walks of life from all over the world, and key phrases used and the tones and pace were something I loved to notice.. so much so that a lady from Scotland helped me perfect a fake accent to use for fun.. and she was always so ticked when I said "that needs to be put in the trash".. she would giggle and say "that word cracks me up".. they don't have 'trashcans' where she came from, they have 'Bins'. LOL. the different words can be confusing though.. such as when she came to work one morning and told me she 'went out and got totally pissed'.. I was like "Uh Oh.. what happened?".. then she translated that she meant she went out drinking with friends the night before and had too much to drink...

No it's not silly for you to be put off by it, especially if the ones that are pointing it out are not appreciative or curious as to "where does your accent come from".. we are all different, some express it more kindly than others, and some are thinking that it is a conversation starter, so if your voice draws the ears and they compliment it, perhaps they were drawn to you, and just weren't sure how else to get your attention.

What makes my speech different than my families?.. Being around many other types of people I worked with, being careful to pronounce words slowly and clearly, since I am a fast talker..I was once told I didn't have 'the Missouri accent'...How interesting.. since I have spent all of my life here.. I replied with "This IS the Missouri accent"..and yes, I found that a bit offensive, who were they to tell me what I was supposed to sound like???

Answer 2

I am never sure, unless the person (guy preferably :) ))
tells me it is hot. I have a southern accent. I usually feel weird when someone asks where I am from and then they looked shocked when I tell them, like they had no clue, when all the while they did and they comment on my accent. It kind of pisses me off like I am less than them or something. I haven't been out in awhile and you have just reminded my of that, so the next time I get that comment, I am going to ask them if it is a compliment or a put down and see how they react. It may embarrass them, buy oh, well,, at least I may find out what they mean and laugh about it. Thanks.

Answer 3

Several years ago I worked as a collection agency representative, and I was one of the most prolific collector's because of my pronounced West Virginia accent. Most people would say, "Oh, what a cute accent. How much do you need right now?" I admit in my younger years, I used to try to hide my accent because I thought having an accent meant I was uneducated and that other people would see me that way. Now I don't care. I love the way I talk and appreciate all accents. The only ones I can't stand are the ones the Wayans brothers used in White Chicks. That was the scariest movie I ever saw.

Answer 4

I think that as long as the comment was made in kindly way, you should accept it as a compliment. Whereas I would agree with you that it is impolite to make personal observations to someone (with whom we are not intimate terms,) not everyone follows this particular social protocol; and, in some cases the personal compliment is meant to offer friendship.
What is more to the point is that as Americans we all do have accents. There is no Standard Received dialect (as in Britain,) so whether Southern drawl, or Western twang or new England nasal we all have some degree of regional pronunciation. Here is a fun site that goes into (too great of) detail over the various regional pronunciations that linguists have identified in the U.S.
http://www.oceanbourne.net.tf/
Also there is a very good (and very amusing) documentary you can buy called, "American Tongues," that goes into some of our regional differences.

Answer 5

I totally think it's a compliment! I myself have an accent. I moved here from Mexico 3 years ago and I speak english perfectly fine! I like it when people say something about my accent, it means that they're paying attention to me when I talk, and I specially love it when guys point out my accent they always say it's HOT! I myself don't see what's hot about an accent but if the guys like it, then so do I!!!lol My accent is fading away now because I speak english most of the time, so I guess I'm gonna have to get used to people telling me I have a Texan accent instead of a "unique" accent like my friends tell me! I don't see anything wrong with people having an accent (even if I didn't have one) because it's part of what makes you "you" and "unique"!!! Don't get put off by this, it just means that they pay attention to you!!!

Answer 6

Being from the south, I have a very strong southern accent. it only offends me when someone assumes that I am stupid or racist because of my accent. I think accents are a wonderful thing. What a boring world it would be if everyone sounded the same. I personally have never encountered someone who was p ut off because I commented on their accent. I think it is a great conversation starter, and a very good way to learn about other cultures.

Answer 7

biscuits or crullers?

i too have been stigmatized by the accent-dental put off. not so much around largely scandi-hoovian northern minnesota, where we're ALL above average (and ALL have accents, it seems), but when i've held conversations with people from other parts of the country. and no, i didn't find it upsetting... just interesting.

telemarketing has a bad rap, but it provides an opportunity to speak with americans from all 50 states. where else to do that? i had to endure many answering machine messages, but even that was a chance to hear something foreign, yet familiar. "yellow..." "hey, i'm not in..." "sup, dog?" and countless other greatest hits. i heard an incredible diversity of both accents and terminology. when contact WAS made, on more than a few occasions, i was asked if i was canadian. i didn't take offense, rather i started having fun with it: "yah, how aboot those maple leafs, eh?" i just took it in the spirit which it was offered (hopefully), a friendly noticing of something out of the ordinary. a nod to the heritage, or the upbringing, or the geography? you betcha!

nice people will be nice, rude ones will be rude. if it's not my accent, it's my clothes, i'm sure...

Answer 8

It's just great! If people notice your
accent - that is a compliment -
because they paid attention to you.
If English is your second language than
you definitely have an accent. Some are
more pleasant to the ear than others but
than you have the advantage of speaking
two languages. Yes, if the opposite sex is
interested (or you are) than this will give you
a good way to start a conversation.
If people put you down, or make offensive
remarks about your accent, than their dumb
and uneducated. Don't let them get to you.
You have been to different places and experienced
more than they have. They are just jealous!

Answer 9

I would get counselling if I were you... People for the most part are kind, good hearted, and would never say a degrading comment right to your face. Accents are unique and unusual. People are interested in or want to glote about what they know about them. I live in Oregon and rarely do I come in contact with anyone that has an accent. Take it as a compliment and go on about your life. As far as how to respond, just say "thank-you, I'm trying to change it but it's hard" and see what response you get. Bet you it's nothing but positive...

Good luck...

Answer 10

I think you can tell by tone of voice, body language, and follow-up comments if someone means it as a compliment or a dig.

Personally, I adore accents and love to imitate them! I've been told I have a distinct Californian accent, which I found utterly intriguing as I've never thought of Californians as having an accent. But now I can tell the difference between a No. Cal and So. Cal accent, as well as variations from population to population (i.e. surfer, valley, etc.) I've rarely ever gotten comments on my speech, so it's not really an issue for me. But if I were to receive many comments, I'd take it as just another topic of conversation. Don't be afraid to ask people about their accents. How you couch your questions and comments can actually endear you to someone because it shows them that you are curious about them...that you want to know more about them. Don't stop at just the accent; ask about where they're from and what their hometown is like, etc. People LOVE to talk about themselves! (Unless they have something to hide..in which case you're giving them an opportunity to brush up on their improv skills at making up stories.)

Relax and have fun. Communicate that you're genuinely interested in people and they'll reciprocate. And if they don't, they're not the people you want to know, anyway. ; )