How do you stop being scared of everything?

Question

I'm 24, I have depression, social anxiety and panic attacks. I see a psychiatrist regularly and I'm on medication.

I seem to be scared of everything these days, of being alone, of being with lots of people, of the dark, of dogs, birds, mice, anything that flies, wind, travelling in cars, going out the flat by myself........

I just seem to have this constant level of anxiety with peaks every now and again, but it never seems to go below the anxiety level, I can't relax and feel calm. I'm constantly worried about what people think of me, or how I'm going to make a fool of myself by saying something stupid, and then on top of that I get these peaks of fear when I'm by myself, when I'm in a noisy environment etc etc etc......

I hate being like this. I wasn't always this bad. How can I get rid of all the anxiety? I've tried doing relaxation exercises and yoga, but I can't stop my mind from going round and round in circles.

I believe in God and I used to be really close to him. Right now, I'm kind of lost and I can't seem to find my way back. I can't accept His love and forgiveness anymore because I'm not good enough and I don't deserve it.

Answer 1

I wish there was an easy answer to this one, but if there is, I haven't come across it. I'm going to try and answer it from what I personally believe to be a Biblical view, although I would hope that others might be able to agree with some of what I say, even if they don't like my solution..

Self acceptance and self forgiveness can be two of the biggest hurdles facing people in recovery from addiction, self hatred, abuse and rejection.

Some secular responses to this are based on trying to convince the patient (for want of a better word) that he or she is not guilty of having transgressed or sinned in the first place - the problem with this is the patient does not subconsciously agree, he knows that there is absolute moral right, no matter what he might profess with his mouth via his conscious mind.

Another approach might be to try and convince someone that, OK, yes they did perform certain actions they weren't really to blame. I seem to remember hearing about Adam blaming Eve and Eve blaming the serpent ...

I believe that the only true answer is provided in the loving arms of my Saviour, which are wide open in welcome as He promises me that there is no way He will cast me out or foresake me. He points me to the Father, Who is Love. Once I start experiencing for myself this awesome, divine love then other things start to become less important and I can, with the help of Holy Spirit, my Comforter, Guide and Mentor, start to see myself as God sees me: forgiven, accepted, valued, loved ... a son or daughter of God who is seated in a place of honour with my Big Brother, in heavenly places.

This is healing God's way. It is difficult and painful as well as cleansing and revitalising.

Please remember that Jesus was criticised by the religious bigots of His time for associating Himself with social outcasts. He took it as a badge of honour to be called the "friend of sinners and tax collectors," and proclaimed that He had "come not for those who were well, but for those who were in need of healing."

I wish that I could say that you will find all churches as welcoming and helpful as they should be, but ask around, some of us like to try and help.

PS Since I wrote the original response, I see that you've added more personal details. Try to get hold of "Rooted in God's Love" by Dale and Juanita Ryan (contact http://www.christianrecovery.com if you have difficulty finding a copy locally to you). This is a series of Scriptural meditations which demand that you join in by praying and writing down your own musings. I got my copy whilst on a teaching weekend with http://www.ellel.org.uk Ellel Ministries operate worldwide and supply teaching material, residential courses and healing retreats to minister into your situation.

You may also find some of the teaching on http://www.malcolmsmith.org/home.asp useful. Malcolm has been around long enough to have ministered regularly with Smith Wigglesworth in St.Albans, England and is now based in Texas from where he runs a teaching ministry. I've sat under his ministry in church, conferences and Bible School.

Can I re-emphasise the importance of finding a loving and accepting fellowship where you can get the spiritual guidance plus emotional and practical support and friendship that you need. I've never heard of a Vineyard Church that would fail to TRY and offer this. If there's one near you, check it out, it won't suit everybody but it's informality and welcome might be just right for you.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You should have close friends who you can share your problems. What about people who you live with? Relaxed atmosphere is very important especially at home. May be you should change a environment what surrounds you. Try to make friends who understand you. Do not be alone go somewhere try something different.
When you woke up in the morning try to watch your thoughts. Are they positive or negative? You life starts from this point. Every time you feel anxiety stop for a minute and think where does it come from? As soon as you find the source of anxiety you will realise a problem. Start doing that from little and after some time you’ll be able to know more and more about yourself. The main reason of this not to feel negating feelings which are destructive and leads you to depression and panic attacks. Feeling of anxiety is just losing energy. From other side the positive feelings gives confident, happiness, respect... Remember that the thoughts leads to everything.
Fear of suffering is worst than suffering itself!

Answer 4

Being scared is normal and healthy -- it keeps people from doing foolish things. I think you make peace with the face that you probably are going to fall at some point. Hurt yourself? Not likely. If you accept that you will make mistakes and fall, and that is okay, perhaps you can let go of the anxious thoughts and take some risks to learn.

Answer 5

Hang in there,
would u believe me if i told u there is a third party involved in ur fear. It not exactly always the situation u might b afraid of or the thing, but there is a spirit of fear, that u do not see or hear audibly. keyword is audibly--meaning u do hear it but its like a thought in ur head. Take time to pray and seek Jesus. I have socail anxiety also, btu its getting better. I have tried drugs booze, new age enlightenmnet theories, meditation everything to conquer fear, but nothing worked. The only thing that is helping me now is this unseen Jesus. I can help u some more, ju scuz i know what tis like. email me [e-mail]. BTW things will get better..believe that!

Answer 6

your description sounds familiar...once upon a time i was like that.i was not on medication or seeing the doctor but i was like that.you mentioned that you cannot accept God's love and forgiveness because you feel that you are not good enough....
Ok, listen to me.God never lets go.Be still and know that He is God. Please open the Bible(if possible) and read Psalm 40, verse 1 and 2.
whenever you feel anxiety,panic attacks keep repeating the name of God...till those feelings pass away.God has never never forsaken you!
The following prayer had helped me and still helps me tremendously when i feel depressed.
' O God make speed to save me,
O Lord make haste to help me'

Answer 7

drink cold water and breath deeply, think of happy things
why are scare anything, think they might hurt you? stop thinking too much, listen to music, do whatever relaxes you, go to the beach, watch tv, read a book, etc.

Answer 8

been there..not good at the time..but trust me you will come through it...go with the panics dont fight them let them sweep over you..i know that they are horrible and you get scared..think happy thoughts and keep saying to yourself that you are okay and that there is nothing to be scared of...put stickers around your house in your car and in your purse with funny faces on and laugh as often as possible...no one is thinking bad of you its all in your head..take deep breaths and carry a brown paper bag for breathing exercises...take it easy dont try to achieve to much in one go...small steps make huge progress.....good luck and i wish you well...read claire weekes books on anxiety and depression...give yourself chance to understand the illness...you will get better..

Answer 9

is it possibly because you are scared of death,there fore you see everything as a danger to you?it maybe hard to see that it is death or bieng harmed that you are afraid of as there are so many things in the catagory that are more obvious,hope this helps you hun.xx

Answer 10

drink lots of water and go to see a natural-path such as Mr.Tazdin Jivrag in Wembley London .He is such a kind man and will help you
Love :Lance in London