On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
The kid says, " Yeah."
The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put tail-light on that bike." The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"
Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."
The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top."
2006-06-08 09:04:58 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
yep ive got a lot of good ones
2006-06-08 09:16:43 · update #1
ROFL read this one...
A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.
The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.
He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".
Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world!
The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.
Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.
When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"
The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your p*nis is under your pillow!"
2006-06-08 09:06:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This woman is late for work, and is speeding at 20 miles over the limit. She drives across a bridge and is immediately stopped by a cop with a radar gun. He ambles over to her car and drawls, "Where's the fire?" Ya know, real imagination.
She tells the cop that she's late for work at the clinic.
He asks what kind of work she does.
"I'm an anus stretcher", she answers.
"Anus stretcher? What kind of work is that", he asks.
She says, "Well, I start with one finger in the anus, then a second, and after a while the whole hand can go in. Eventually I get both hands in, and stretch it till it's 6 feet wide".
"Six feet wide!" the cop exclaims. "What can you do with a 6-foot a**hole?"
She answers sweetly, "Well, you can give him a radar gun and put him behind a bridge!"
The speeding ticket: $95.
Court costs: $55.
The cop's shocked expression: priceless
2006-06-15 09:46:12 · answer #2 · answered by Par'o 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is funny, though I came to this page because of the reference to FF7.
2006-06-08 16:09:50 · answer #3 · answered by Ixy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NICE dontcha just love holiday cheer?
2006-06-08 16:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by jj? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that was really funny, i know a cop, i can't wait to tell him the joke!!!!
2006-06-08 16:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heh nice, out of season but still a good joke.
2006-06-08 16:07:59 · answer #6 · answered by theswarm666x 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not funny if you are the cop.!!
2006-06-08 16:07:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's too funny!
2006-06-08 16:13:16 · answer #8 · answered by cindy c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats a good joke! i like it
2006-06-08 16:56:38 · answer #9 · answered by heather_renee1111 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wonderfully funny
is the cop american?
2006-06-08 16:07:38 · answer #10 · answered by happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋