I have a beautiful 12 year old daughter. But, she can not move or see. I just barely afforded a new wheelchair. I'm 31 years old. My husband died from lung cancer a few months ago. I used to stay at home with Cassandera while my husband worked. We made enough money to support all of us. But, since he died we've gone down hill. I can't find a job so I work at Burger King and help out around my neighborhood to make a few extra money. Last week I took my daughter to the doctor and they said she needs a kidney transplant. I can not afford this one bit! My friend recently told me, "If you can't afford this, you should have someone adopt her.". Lately, I've been thinking this is the only thing I can do. I love her dearly and I can't tell her this. But, I can't afford her bills anymore. I can't sleep at night anymore. I've sold my TV and now I'm going to give up my computer and Internet. But, I fear it might not be enough for the transplant. I'm crying now and I feel like a bad parent!
2006-06-08 09:03:31 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Nothing can be so bad that you have to give up your child!!! There are always ways to solve problems. Hey, if illegal aliens can benefit coming to the U.S. and get FREE kidney transplants and have all their medical bills taken care of, why can't you as a legal citizen? Hey you have paid your taxes and the government should be able to help you. What is the government going to do? Let your daughter die? No way! that would be inhumane and that is why the USA is known to be so generous. I would call UC Davis as I have known of a family whose son received a kidney transplant for free along with all his medicines and daily dialysis--and the boy is an illegal alien!! Call UC Davis as that is the place where this boy has been getting treatment. Good luck!!
2006-06-08 09:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by Geneva 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
NICE FRIEND! Honey, you are not the only person to be in this position. You and your daughter are eligible for Social Security benefits thru your husband and disability. You and she are also eligible for Medicaid (or Medicare?) which would cover the medical expenses. Make sure you apply. Also, there are really good free hospitals and plenty of people that donate time, etc to help. If you want to give up your daughter, that is your choice, but there are other options. Good Luck!
2006-06-08 16:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by working mom of 3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a bad parent because all you are thinking of right now is what is best for her. Because of her disabilities she is entitled to state benefits if not federal. Before you do anything rash go to your public aid office and ask them for assistance. Since you work at Burger King you will more than likely qualify. I know at times things hit you all at once and you want to panic, but right now there are lots of options out there for you. When you go to the public aid office ask them if you qualify for utility assistance as well. Find out as much info about the hospitals financial assistance program for transplant patients. Most Transplant qualified hospitals have assistance as well. Good luck Sweetheart and hang in there.
2006-06-08 16:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by Godsgirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg honey i am so sorry for the loss of your husband. you are a strong strong woman for keeping it together.
some questions....do you have any family that can help you? what about your late husband's family? is there some kind of state funded assitance you can apply for? i don't think you should consider adoption just yet.....don't make a rash decision. your daughter must be going to some kind of school right? do they have any suggestions or programs they know about? talk to people....you cannot be the only one in your area who has gone through this. also, people love to help people who really need it. reach out, there are good people out there. fundraiser may be a great idea. i know things are hard, hang in there and be very strong. sorry, hope this helps you
2006-06-08 16:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would try to get some help from the government like Medicaid... or maybe try to raise money through activities like Bingos... or something like that... but after having your daughter for 12 years, do you honestly think you can let go ? I had my son just two weeks ago and I cant picture life without him already... Think hard before you consider adoption... There's always more options...
2006-06-08 16:16:05 · answer #5 · answered by lilly_mom_pr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you get SSI or SSDI for your daughter? You are eligible for one of those and that should help with costs. If you don't have it or haven't applied, go here: http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disability/disability_starter_kits_child_eng.htm
Also, if you haven't already, apply for medicaid which should help with medical costs and possibly transplant costs.
I cannot imagine what you are going through. And I'm so sad that there isn't more out there to help you with medical costs for your beautiful girl. There's no way that you should be having to deal with this alone. I pray that you don't have to make that choice to have someone else take your child. Take care.
2006-06-08 16:17:22 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
check with your local hospital about financial help. alot of places will write off balances if you apply and meet the guidelines.
also try doing fundraisers to help get money for the transplant. go to your local paper or news stations and get your story out there. you'd be amazed how many people will help out. good luck!!
2006-06-08 16:13:34 · answer #7 · answered by atruddie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can get medical help thru the state. Call you DHS department and tell then what is going on. They will help you. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.
2006-06-08 16:35:20 · answer #8 · answered by JLEE 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound lame to you or to others, but I believe it with all of my heart -- and that is take your troubles to God in prayer and have faith. Talk to friends. Go to church and talk with others. God doesn't put anything in front of us that we can't handle -- even though it often seems that way. Ask anyone and everyone to keep you in their prayers. Also, check with your local and state government health and services offices -- often there are programs to help in situations like yours.
2006-06-08 16:10:36 · answer #9 · answered by ckvz01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
adoption isn't the answer....how about medicare???medicaid??? get the transplant worry about paying for it later!!!!
how did you pay for the doc. visit insurance? use it!! free clinic?? find a doc. willing to donate his time/equipment GOOD LUCK!!!
2006-06-08 16:08:17 · answer #10 · answered by laura468 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋