best joke gets 10 pionts?

Question

lets here the best joke

Answer 1

What do you call a fly without any wings?


A Walk!

Answer 2

O.K - There a Panda in the rainforest and he is smokin' some pot. He is really stoned and he's just chillin'. All of a sudden this lizard walks by and he smells it and he's like "Hey Panda, what's up? Can I get some of that?" And the Panda's like, "Sure man, come on up." Well, the Lizard climbs up there and they start smokin'. An hour goes by and they are still smokin', they are so stoned. The Lizard says, "Man, I am so thirsty, I'm gonna go find some water." And the Panda is like, "O.K, I'll see ya later, man." So the Lizard goes to find some water. He gets to the river and he sees an Alligator and the Alligator is like, "Man, you look so stoned. Where'd you get that?" And the lizard says, "Dude, there's a Panda over there up in the tree, he's got some, I'm sure he won't mind." So the Alligator sets off to find the Panda and the Lizard has the munchies so he takes off. Finally, the Alligator sees the Panda. Well, the Panda sees the Alligator too, and goes, "Man, how much water did you drink!?!?"

Answer 3

A man traveling by plane and in urgent need to use the men's room is nervously tapping his foot on the floor of the aircraft. Each time he tried the men's room door, it was "OCCUPIED". The stewardess, aware of his predicament suggested that he go ahead and use the ladies room, but cautioned him against using any of the buttons inside.

The buttons were marked "WW, WA, PP and ATR". Making the mistake that so many men make in disregarding the importance of what a woman says, the man let his curiosity get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyway.

He carefully pressed the first button marked "WW" and immediately warm water sprayed all over his entire bottom. He thought, "WOW, the women really have it made!".

Still curious, he pressed the button marked "WA" and a gentle breeze of warm air quickly dried his hind quarters. He thought that was out of this world!

The button marked "PP" yielded a large powder puff which delicately applied a soft talc to his rear.

Well, naturally he couldn't resist the last button marked "ATR". When he woke up in the hospital he panicked and buzzed for the nurse.

When she appeared, he cried out, "What happened to me?! The last thing I remember is I was in the ladies room on a business trip!"

The nurse replied, "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the "ATR" button which stands for Automatic Tampon Remover... Your p*nis is under your pillow!"

Answer 4

A young man goes into a
pharmacy and asks the pharmacist:

"Hello, could you give me a condom.
My girlfriend has invited me for dinner

and I think she is expecting something from me!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom;
and as the young man is going out,

he returns and tells him: "Give me a
another condom because my girlfriend's sister
very cute too.

She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner
when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom;

and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says:
"After all, give me one more condom because my
girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute and
when she sees me she always makes allusions...
and since she invited me for dinner,
I think she is expecting something from me!!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his
left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him.

When the dad gets there, the boy lowers
his head and starts praying: "Dear Lord,
bless this dinner...thank you for all you give us...!!!"

A minute later the boy is still praying: "Thank you Lord for your
kindness..."

Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying,
keeping his head down.

The others look at each other surprised and his
girlfriend even more than the others.

She gets close to the boy and tells him in his ear:
"I didn't know you were so religious!!!"

The boy replies :"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!!!"

Answer 5

There was a guy from Italia who went on vacation and met a girl from Sweden.They met each other and the Italian man asked the girl for sex.And she agreed.They went to bed and made love for one hour, two hours.The guy asked -Finish?
-No!
After half an hour:Finish?
No!
Afer another half an hour:Finish?
No!
Then again:Finish???
No, Swedish!!
:)

Answer 6

A rabbit is running in the forrest, when he crosses his friend the cat, who is smoking a big fat joint. The rabbit says :
-"Come on cat friend, don't you know weed is bad for you? Come with me, and let's go for a run, it'll be more healthy"
The cat is ok, and so they go, untill they cross their friend the bear, who is sniffin' some coke. Again, the rabbit says :
-"Come on bear friend, don't you know..."
And so, the rabbit, the bear and the cat start runing again, when they cross their friend the lion, who is eating magic mushrooms, the rabbit starts :
-"Come on, lion friend..."
BAW!!!
The lion hits the rabbit, and nearly kills him, so the cat and the bear ask the lion :
-"Why the f*ck did you hit the rabbit, he only wanted you to come run with us, he's worrying about your health..."
So the lion answers :
-"This f*cking rabbit! Each time he does extasy, he wants to go running..."



Have a nice day...

Answer 7

There were two men hunting in the woods and one accidently shoots himself. The other guy panics so he calls the police. He says 'My friend accidently shot himself! What should I do?!' so the policeman says 'ok, first make sure he is dead'. The policeman hears a loud gunshot and then hears the man say 'ok, now what?'".

Answer 8

What do you say to a blond who has 2 black eyes?


Nothing she's already been told twice.
Thats the only joke I know at the moment. I tyed :)

Answer 9

I am so unlucky in love,only last week I was making love to my blow up rubber doll when the door burst open and in run her blow up rubber boyfriend and kicked the s hit out of me !!!

Answer 10

can I just have 10 points

Answer 11

A girl was in a barber shop with her dad.
When they were cutting her dads hair, she was next to her dad eating a twinkie.
The barber said"Honey, you are gonna get hair all over your twinkie."
and the girl said "I know, im gonna get boobs too!"

lol....