Was it fair from prophet Muhammed to marry 6-year old Aisha?

Question

The Islamic history tells that prophet Muhammed married Aisha when she was 6 years old and had sex with her when she was 9 years old.

Islam apologists also claim that Islam was the first religion to prohibt marrying any girl without her consent.

I have two certain questions here:
(1) Was it fair from prophet Muhammed to marry Aisha without asking her permission?
(note that she was only 6 years old and she was not able to give any permission. Also, not that there is a statement told by her in Bukhary that she was playing on a swing and some women took her to prophet Muhammed and she did not know why they were doing that)

(2) Was it fair from prophet Muhammed to marry a 6-year old girl while he was 53? He did not think that she was supposed to enjoy her childhood and to enjoy her own selection of her own man-of dreams?

(3) Was it fair from prophet Muhammed to make it prohibted for her to marry again after his death although he knew she would be widow in a very young age?

In my questions, I am only trying to focus whther it was fair or not. I am not talking about why did he do that or anything else.

Also, the history tells she became a widow when she was only 18 years old and she could not marry after that because there was a Quranic verse that prohibts her from marrying again.

zigzagaha
Please provide your reference that says she was 12 when he married her. If you read Sahih Bukhary you will find at least 6 statements that she was 6 when he married her and 9 when he first had sex with her.

Kimberly:
I totally agree with you and from what you say there is some gap now between Islamic teachings and history from one side, and Islamic practice from the other side.

magistra_lin...
I always hear that Islam was created for all times and places. This is why most muslims still wear hijab, jilbab, use sowak...etc. Just to mimic what prophet Muhammed was doing exactly.

Also, even if that was acceptable those days, it should have been changed by a prophet who receives his message from god.

Also, I am asking about ABSOLUTE FAIRNESS, which does not depend on time. I am asking about values, not traditions. I did not ask why did not she wear a skirt or why did not he use an iPod, I am asking about ABSOLUTE VALUES.

sebekhoteph
I agree with you that this was common practice at the time. In this case, why Islamic apologists always say that Islam was the only religion to prohibt it? (I mean marrying a girl without her consent)

askmuslims1
Your answer is confusing me. I don't know him in person, but I have read alot about him. Instead of confusing me, can you simply answer the above three questions?

Answer 1

Dude, you're trying to apply current day social values to a completely different civilization. If you're going to call attention to social injustice perpetrated by various societies in the past, then at least be uniform about it. You can't just attack Islam and Muslim leaders for being unfair when they were acting according to established social values unless you're also going to attack Hindus, Christians, Jews, and people of other faiths and various ethnicities for underaged marriage as well. You don't really think that Muslims were the only people in the history of the world to allow underage marriage or marriage without consent, do you? Marriage without consent was the way of the world, including in European countries dominated by Christians, up until maybe a hundred years ago. Marrying the man of your dreams is a modern idea. So if what Mohammed did was unfair, everyone else was doing something unfair, too.

Besides, you have to consider that one of the things Mohammed was trying to do was to provide protection to orphans and widows. In most ancient socieites (and in some current day ones), women and girls were not allowed to earn money and were completely dependent upon men for their survival. If you didn't have a father to take care of you, you were out of luck...unless you had a husband. It may sound backwards to us now, but marrying off young girls who had no home or family was actually a social ADVANCEMENT at that time. Without a husband to protect them, they were as good as dead.

EDIT: Now, if what you're trying to prove is that Islam is a "bad religion" because the values the Qu'ran proposes are not "absolute values" and you're trying to prove that on the basis of a single incident that applied to one person alone (the prophet), then I think you're pursuing an erroneous line of reason. I am replying merely to the case which you present by stating that I think you are taking the incident out of context, but you will have no help nor hindrance from me in trying to prove whether Islam is "good" or "bad". I am neither a Christian nor a Muslim, and while I have respect for both religions as social institutions which try to improve the lives of its followers, I ultimately think they're both fiction. And the fact that both of them support values which are hugely out of sync with modernly accepted values is only one reason for my holding that belief. If you want to say that Islam supports certain values that are antiquated and that an all-powerful God should have updated these accordingly, I might agree, except that I'd also point out that the very same thing is true of Christianity.

So either you're a critic of religion in general, in which case you I would advise you to look at the holy texts of each religion as flawed, yes, but also as pertinent to a certain population at a certain point in time, or you're a Christian apologist, in which case I would think you'd have enough sense not to attack another religion on the basis of applying scripture pertaining to ONE PARTICULAR situation to some nonexistent universal standard. Surely as a Christian you would realize that if you are allowed to discredit Islam on the basis of an individual situation that took place centuries ago, that you would have to admit that criticisms of Christianity on the basis of a particular action quoted in the Bible (such as Lot's daughters or the murder of first-borns in Egypt or something of that nature) are equally valid.

In other words, stop taking things out of context unless you want the same tactic to be used against your religion and are prepared to accept the results.

Answer 2

Marrying a girl at the onset of her puberty was a common thing back then - everyone did it, be it a jew, christian or moslem.

In warm climates, girls do attain puberty earlier - thats verifyable even now.

The idea of marrying at 18+ is a modern concept, and therefore, its not fair to compare what happened than, with todays standards.

But 6 years is too young - though there's controversy about the age, some claim it was 12.

And Mohammed was a ruler of muslims at his death; so, he said things which got captured in quran thats nothing to do with gods words etc. He forbade Ayesha to marry her, for probably he was as jelous of her, as any old man marrying a young girl would be.

So, ya, parts of it was not 'fair', parts of it - was ok as per the norm then.

Answer 3

You are probably going to get alot of hate responses on this one by people who know nothing about the religion...

No, it wasn't particularly fair. But we all learn from the past...that's why modern Islam prohibits such a thing. If you think about it, Christians and people of other religions used to marry young girls all the time. It was common practice. That's why there was such a high rate of infant mortality and death during childbirth. Luckily, modern research, science, and psychology has progressed to where these things are no longer allowed.

Answer 4

to tell the truth yes he could marry at six didn't you don marry at five?

sex with a nine year old is not good. it wouldnt be that bad is he was a nine year old. he shpuld have waited till she was 14. but mohamad might say mind your own business. some christians beleive just thinking about sex is as the same as having sex. which is aludicris.

my beleive is 14 is the age of consent.

and in these days of slavery who give a fu*k what a man does with his slaves?

to question three fu*k him he's dead.

Answer 5

Have you ruely researched this. I'm currently looking into all of these. I her too many conflicting ages to really be able to comment on these, also look at older translations and meanings of the words, maybe you are reading the words as todays meanings when they meant something else when it was written.

Answer 6

First of all, there has been disputes among the scholars regarding Aisha's age. It was consummated after Aisha attained puberty that we know. Islam forbids sexual intercourse with children who haven't attained puberty.

Read this article to understand the disputes:
http://www.studying-islam.org/articletext.aspx?id=935

Also a narration in Bukhari tells us that she could've been 15 years old.

1) `A’ishah was most pleased with this marriage. She became his best supporter and learned much of Islam from him. She was a great teacher for many women and men of her time. Her parents were very pleased with this marriage. Historically, it is not confirmed that she was 9 years old when she came in the household of the Prophet. There are various reports from age 9 to age 24. Her maturity, knowledge, intelligence, and contributions during the life of the Prophet and afterwards all indicate that she was either an exceptional nine-year-old or must have been older than that. Whatever the case may be about her age, one thing is certain: she was a most compatible spouse of Prophet Muhammad. None of the contemporaries of the Prophet, his friends or foes, are reported to be surprised by this marriage or made objections to it.


This is the statement in Bukhari, you're referring to, no?

About her wedding, she related that shortly before she was to leave her parent's house, she slipped out into the courtyard to play with a passing friend:

"I was playing on a see-saw and my long streaming hair was dishevelled," she said. "They came and took me from my play and made me ready."

She did know she was getting married.

2) Before the Prophet's [PBUH] offer of marriage, Aisha was being pursued by Jubair ibn Mut`am indicates that she was mature enough for marriage, according to the prevailing tradition at that time. As for the purpose of this marriage, it was purely for sociopolitical reason. The Prophet’s main concern was the future of Islam. He was interested in strengthening the Muslims by all bonds. This also explains the reason why he married the daughter of `Umar, his Second Successor. It was by his marriage to Juwayriyyah that he gained the support for Islam of the whole clan of Bani Al-Mustaliq and their allied tribes. It was through his marriage to Safiyyah that he neutralized a great section of the hostile Jews of Arabia. By accepting Mariya, the Copt from Egypt, as his wife, he formed a political alliance with a king of great magnitude. So his marriage to `Aisha could never be of anything save cementing his relation with Abu Bakr, `Aisha’s father.

Traditions show that she and the Prophet [PBUH] were extremely fond of each other. Infact, he died in her apartment.

3) The Prophet [PBUH] didn't prohibit it, Allah did. The wives of the Holy Prophet [pbuh] have a very special status as Mothers of the Believers.

This tradition might help:
Once the Prophet stayed away from his wives for a month because they had distressed him by asking of him that which he did not have. This was after the Khaybar expedition when an increase of riches whetted the appetite for presents. Returning from his self-imposed retreat, he went first to Aishah's apartment. She was delighted to see him but he said he had received Revelation which required him to put two options before her. He then recited the verses:

"O Prophet! Say to your wives: If you desire the life of this world and its adornments, then come and I will bestow its goods upon you, and I will release you with a fair release. But if you desire God and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter, then verily God has laid in store for you an immense reward for such as you who do good."

Aishah's reply was:
"Indeed I desire God and His Messenger and the abode of the Hereafter," and her response was followed by all the others.

It was HER choice.

I hope this helps in clearing misconceptions.

Answer 7

I will ask you one simple question. Do you know Prophet Muhammed (pbuh)? If you don't then you shouldn't judge him and if you know him you got to be confused because if you know him you will already have the answer to your question.

http://askmuslims.com

Answer 8

For Muhamadites, yes it is fair