second last ?

Question

Most Embarrassing Moments” contest
Filed under:
Jokes
add to del.icio.us An excellent contribution sent in by HG:

The following are the top four winners from a “Most Embarrassing Moments” contest:

1. “While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving ‘right now,’ she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, ‘If you don’t let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy’s pee-pee last night!’ The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing! I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.”

2. “It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn’t want to miss the call, we didn’t have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled, ‘SURPRISE!’ My entire family–aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and all my friends were standing there! My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again.”

3. “One of the funniest “most-embarrassing-moment” stories I’ve come upon in a long time was about a lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: ‘PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN. TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE.’ That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word ‘Tampax’ for ‘THUMBTACKS.’ In a business like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: ‘DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?’”

4. “This one actually happened at Harvard University in October of this year in a biology class; the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked, ‘If I understand, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose in male semen as in sugar?’ ‘That’s correct,’ responded the professor, going on to add statistical information. Raising her hand again, the girl asked, ‘Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?’ After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl’s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books with out a word and walked out of class…and never returned. However, as she was going out the door, the Professor’s reply was classic… Totally straight-faced he answered her question, ‘It doesn’t taste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.'’

Answer 1

OMG! I would die if I was any of them

Answer 2

Well an elderly couple was having dinner at some friends house. The lady of the house offered the elderly woman to serve herself more soup and while the elderly woman gave herself seconds, a the lady's 3 yr old daughter looked at her with an angry face and said, "dont serve yourself that much,or were gonna run out of food to eat." The elderly couple were the preists at their church.

Answer 3

oh my God!!! that's the height of embarrasement!!!! Funny about the university, a similar incident occured (not sure where as its only hearsay), they were in a dissection class where they dissected the male member when suddenly a girl at the back row called out in astonishment "hey!!! I thought it was a bone!!!"

Answer 4

A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.

The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings ."

The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings ."

The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar."

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings "

The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.

The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs."

The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs."

...........You're gonna love this.........

<

<

The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate

Answer 5

my opinions...
1 GO LITTLE GIRL
2 This guy just stupid...
3 Not the woman's fault at all...
4 that girl is... no comment...

Answer 6

Wow. Wish I was there. Except the second one we'll skip that.

Answer 7

haha i would have got that girls number from the biology class.

Answer 8

Those are hilarious. Could you imagine? Those would be just awful to live through. Thanks for the laugh

Answer 9

I poo'd in my pants once

Answer 10

funny funny hahaha