I am a male...I hate myself...my body (too slender)...my hair (I'm losing it.)?

Question

Have tried EVERY thing I know of to try...diets, exercises, routines, proteins, supplements, physician visits, counseling, anti depressants..you name it!!! NOTHING helps me any...who wants to accept such bad cicumstances....life dealt me such a bad hand!!!!!

Answer 1

My first love was really thin and very bald - and I thought he was super hot. But he also had incredible confidence which probably made him so attractive. So there are plenty of women with tastes that don't obey mainstream media! You should turn off the TV, too, and work on developing your own talents.
I'm 28 and I've dealt with depression & anxiety attacks since I was 11 and I am not a big fan of antidepressants (though I've seen them work for some). Last June I tried a super healthy diet called macrobiotics and for the first time in 17 yrs I spent over 2 weeks (now a full year) without depression. That diet is recommended for cancer patients and people who need to cleanse their body. I know it did wonders for my nervous system. It's a lot of work, but I'm now emotionally balanced & no longer so agoraphobic.
About you trying to gain weight: I have to agree about getting your thyroid checked. Also you may have to resort to counting calories and adding 500 per day - try this calculator:
http://www.hpathy.com/healthtools/calories-need.asp
I would also recommend the book "Body for Life" - although I don't think their diet is good for the long term (my immune system suffered). The book has pix of thin guys that bulked up.
If you really want to get up from under, you can do it! Be kind to yourself :)

(And coloryst may be onto something: I'm a Cancer & for 6 yrs I've lived w/ a Capricorn who used to be self-loathing. We're now engaged & still crazy about each other - he's skinny, too).

Answer 2

Clearly you have a serious problem with self-esteem. It's almost an illness in itself and the cure is to get to the heart of the problem and learn to love yourself in order to then go forward and let others love you. Being attractive to others rarely comes down to looks, it's more about confidence and how you conduct yourself. Obviously your confidence is going to be nil while you are sitting around pulling yourself to pieces, so you are actually making yourself unattractive or making yourself FEEL unattractive.

I could tell you to take a look around the world at the starving and the disabled, terminally ill and the amazing people that have overcome losing limbs or being terribly scarred through accidents and fires. I don't think that's gonna work for you because you have already pushed the self-destruct button and it's not about the rest of the world.

You have mentioned all the different things you have tried but one very clever one is missing - hypnosis. I recommend it. My youngest daughter was so shy it was almost an illness, she just couldn't bear other people looking at her. She spent the first four years of her life with her hand over her face and hiding behind me. What made it worse was she was incredibly cute to look at with gorgeous dimples so people were naturally drawn to look at her and commented on how sweet she was. I took her for hypnosis and I walked out of there with a different child! From that day on she has been making progress and is now a very confident, daring, chatty, friendly little girl with more friends than my other children put together. She went on to do Irish Dancing and reached championship level, dancing in halls of 200-300 people each time.

You must make a list (the web will help) of hypnotherapists in your area and find out as much as you can about them before you choose. The one with the most qualifications is not necessarily the best. How long they have been practising and their success rate is much more important. When you go you have to explain that you have extremely low self-esteem and hate the way you look. A good hypnotherapist will know exactly what type of therapy to give you. It will cost anything up to $200 but it's worth every penny (or should I say cent!).

Good luck and I hope you are feeling much better about yourself very soon. Take care x

Answer 3

I took a look at your q & a, in one of your questions you wondered about the prescriptions causing your hair loss. Did you check that out with your doctor, a change in meds might help. The bald look is in right now, so you might consider shaving it all off, perhaps grow a sexy little goatee. slender guys tend to look younger, which is a real asset as you grow older. Don't dress in oversize clothes, it will make you look thinner than you are. Personally, I have the feeling that you look better than you think you do. Next time, attach a pic, so that we all have an idea of what you really do look like. I do notice that some of your questions and answers are about other things, Nascar, wrestling, etc. Think more about your interests, and learn to be an interesting person to talk to. Interesting conversation holds a girl's interest much more than big biceps. good luck to you.

Answer 4

Well, I also know one other thing you have not mentioned....you are a capricorn, me too. It is part of the capricorn's nature to be both self destructive and self loathing. This is something we must work everyday to overcome. It is never easy and never a day goes by that I don't have to remind myself that the way I see myself and the way others see me is different. You must try to have the confidence that others have no matter how worthy they are. If you spend all your time telling people all the things about you that are bad they will agree with you. You must instead start by making a list of things that are good about you and these are the things that you should dwell upon. As I said I too am a capricorn and I know exactly how you feel, but my last bit of advice is for you to seriously search for a mate that is a cancer. Cancer personalities are very confident outwardly, but inwardly they need love even more than we do..... noone will ever love a cancer the way a capricorn does, and they need that as much as you need someone to see you as desirable. Please feel free to contact me if anything is unclear to you. Best wishes

Answer 5

ok, I am not saying this to boost you up, but it's true. I love guys who are balding. My husband is almost completely bald. I think he is the sexiest man in the world. He is also very skinny.

Sexy bald men: Bruce Willis and Ed Harris. I know there are more, but I am cracking under the pressure of a name.

Don't worry about being too skinny. In time your metabolism will slow down and you will gain weight. Even if you don't, you have a unique problem. You can eat to your hearts content without getting fat!!

Love yourself just the way you are and others will too. Those who don't are not worth your precious time. Trust me, life can deal you a MUCH worse hand.

Answer 6

Well part of that is needing to accept yourself and be happy that you have a healthy body. Hair loss is a part of getting older. Weight training, protein and other things can help with some weight gain, jsut follow what doctors suggest and do what you can. Try not to be so down about yourself, there are much worse things that could effect your appearance and health. It's not as bad as your taking it, there are much worse hands that you could be dealt so be happy with what you do have.

Answer 7

Quit beating yourself up. Nothing is that bad. If life gave you a bunch of lemons then make lemonade.

Life is 10% of what we are dealt and 90% of how we deal with it.

Helen Keller, who was blind since birth, said she like to face the sun because she didn't see the shadows. Good perspective.

Now take first things first. Don't try to overhaul all at once. Take one area and make a list of goals for that one item. work toward it and as you see improvement, reward yourself. Then find another goal that you want to improve. Continue doing this until you've accomplished them.

A good recipe for weight gain is drink a shake mixed of ice cream, egg, peanut butter, milk and banana. Blend well. drink about three of those a day.

Little by little you'll see improvement and start liking yourself. Do a lot of self talk to yourself about how much you like you. You'll be amazed.

Answer 8

I agree w/ the huntress get the thyroid checked it could be over active and that could be the cause of your weight lose. Or it could be something else. You need to see and endocrinologist they specialize in the metabolism issues. Trust me on this it happened to me, I found the right doctor and he diagnosed the problem after years, of trying to figure it all out and now I am on the right medicine. And as fair as the hair goes who cares, if the girl loves you it ain't for your hair honey so buck up and pick yourself up and dust yourself off. It will be okay promise.

Answer 9

First off you need to change the way you feel about yourself you need to focus on the good parts of you and learn to love you! And losing your hair big deal shave it bald that look is great and works for a lot of guys. But you will never be happy with you until you love you take sometime to focus on those good parts and who cares about the rest When you learn to love you none of that other stuff will matter and you will have much higher self esteem and more confidence Work on yourself hon.

Answer 10

To me, a slender body is an asset in a man. Hair loss is not uncool coz you can just shave your head and look like everyone else. Maybe you can't see how much you have going for you and you are projecting negativity in your daily interactions.
Try saying thanks each day for you body , and then stand tall and proud and speak to and smile at people more. You will see your feelings changing very soon I bet.