my boyfriend and my children?

Question

Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years he has 3 kids and I have two. his kids do no wrong and in his eyes my 11 year old does no wrong, However he is super hard on my 6 year old, he knit picks everything he does and he is constantly grounding him, If I go to show my 6 year old attention I get acused for "babying him". I cant take it no more why would he be like that to my 6 year old, praise my 11 year old and his children??It really hurts my feelings because he is a sweet little boy with a big heart but im starting to feel my boyfriend dont like him and thats why he gets treated unfairly compared to the other children. What do I do? If I talk to him about it it turns into a fight

Answer 1

If he treats your kids like crap, whether it's just one or not, then you need to let him go. He's basically saying he doesn't love you. You need to think of your children. The last thing you should want is to bring any harm, whether physical or mental, to your children.
It will be hard, believe me. But isn't better to have to work harder, or be alone for a little while, than to be miserable and bring harm to you and your children.
If you take a stand, you will not only be happier, but your children will be. You will find the one that will love you and all your children.
Keep faith and stand strong! You can do it, no matter how hard it is.
God Bless :)

Answer 2

That's seems unusual to me. If he were coming down on both of your kids my first thought would be that he is just playing favorites towards his own.

You didn't mention the gender or ages of his kids. There are a few things that come to mind based on the options in that regard.
1) If the 6 year old is the only boy, maybe your boyfriend is intimidated or threatened by your son. There may also be some deep rooted bias against boys. Perhaps he had some issues with his father as a child?
2) If the 6 year old is the youngest, maybe he just doesn't have the patience needed to deal with young children.
3) He is jealous of the attention you are providing to your son.

The other option, which may not be the one you are looking for, is that he is correct and you are babying your son. He is after all, your baby still. As parents, we sometimes look at our children through rose colored glasses.

If you want to make this work with your boyfriend, you may need to suck it up, deal with the fight that it will take and address the issue. Some professional help might be required involving all three of you to resolve the issues.

If you are not able to reach some sort of an understanding with your boyfriend, it will probably be better for your son to get him out of the situation entirely.

Answer 3

i am a mother like you and mother to mother my children come first, second i think it is very wrong that your 6 year old is being treated unfairly compared to the other childred. third of all it is you job as his mother to disipline him and to love him. who does your bf think he is treating your son like that. ever heard of kids getting a complex. your little boy is going to grow up with very low self estem. he is 6 not 16. i have a boy the same age as your 6 year old and my god what could your child possibly do to get grounded all the time or nit picked at. what did he sneeze too loud or did he look at him the wrong way. is he being a child and palying to much. what can he possibly be doing. god that makes me angry. children are pure and innocent and any child no matter how old should not me treated any different than the other. i would love to meet your bf and give him a piece of my mind. think about it. that is your child. hell baby him all you want. maybe thats what he needs. maybe his feelings get hurt. he needs the attention. oh my lord is your bf jealous because you are giving your son attention and not him? how old is your bf? time to grow up!!!!! get your kids and get out. find someone who will treat you and your children fairly. be aware of your childrens safety. this man or coward cant be all that great.
you been with this man for 3 years? why are you waiting so long. you better do something now before it gets physical or has it already and do you know?

Answer 4

Hearing remarks such as yours, scares me .This guy sounds dangerous. Why would you put your innocent child in a situation like this where he is treated sadistically ? What are you thinking ?There is no person on earth worth the potential for danger, where you child is concerned . A man who berates a mother for showing attention to her child is sick and capable of causing irreversible harm to that child .I wonder if all the women who had a boyfriend who murdered their child- put up with this same thing ? Are you willing to find out ? Are your needs more important than your child's life ? You know the answer or you wouldn't be asking the question .Your son's life is miserable because you want to keep your "man" .For three years you have allowed your son to endure this ???
Be aware that mothers are jailed in situations where the boyfriend( or husband ) harms a kid while the mother "allowed" it .He is "constantly grounding him" ( among other things); and IF you talk about it , it starts a fight ? It's unbelievable & inconceivable that a woman would even want to be near a man who was not kind & loving to her kids .More than that-it makes you no better than your boyfriend . You are your son's protector ; and you put him at the mercy of an insecure , sadistic man who in effect tortures him. Either get rid of the boyfriend or send your son to a home where he will be valued and loved-vs.-scarred for life-or worse.

Answer 5

First of all you have to tell him that the 6 and 11 year old are your children not his and you wont stand for him treating ANY of them unfairly as for babying him Ok sometimes that happens but you know the personality of your own child better than he does, this is your child and he needs to lighten up. If he still loves you he may not like it but he will understand, you don't pick on his kids unfairly so he is not to do that to yours, take it or leave it this is the proving ground for his love for ;you and your relationship.
I have raised 9 kids and I had the "law" laid down to me that way and we are still very happy, Oh yeah and I did lighten up, she was right.

Answer 6

If he can't love all of your children the same way then he's not as good of a person as you think he is. This is always gonna happen when both people in a couple have thier own children. Just tell him that you will discipline your children and he can discipline his children. This is not good for a family to be dividing up the kids and making one feel like he always does something wrong. My step-dad treats my brother that very same way. Always trying to get him in trouble. Tell him that if he can't treat all of your kids the same way then things aren't going to work out in the long run. If you decide to get married, both of you are going to have to be able to discipline when it is needed, even if the child is not actually yours. If this can't happen then, htings aren't going to go too well. I HOPE THIS HELPS AND GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 7

leave the guy he dont deserve u if he acuses u of babying a six yr old boy hes out of his mind do u and ur kids a favor and get rid of him NOW

Answer 8

You put your children first, and stand up for your little boy. If you don't, who else will? Your bf has some issues that he is taking out on your little boy. He must look like his dad. Some men are insecure like that. Either way, that child deserves better.

Answer 9

Maybe your boyfriend is jealous of the attention you are you giving your 6 year old, who of coarse requires more attention. I believe you have to pick your children over your personal relationships. If he can't get over this jealousy of his.. he has to go!

Answer 10

Has this just started? If not, I can't understand why you have stayed with someone who treats one of your kids like crap for so long.
Who cares if talking about it turns into a fight? Fight with him about it and tell him if he can't change, you're going to have to leave. And be prepared to leave!