Our son will be 3 in a few months and I am ready for our next baby. He said the time isn't right, but everything in me says it is. I don't know what to do, and I am afraid it is hurting our marriage!
2006-06-08 07:04:52 · 18 answers · asked by jawmom_03 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
What are his reasons for saying the time isn't right?
A recent study said that between 18 months and 5 years is the best time difference, for the mother's health and the baby's. Since it can take time to become pregnant, and then 9 months to deliver, I'd say you're probably at a good time for it now, but then I don't know what your husband's reasons are for saying otherwise. Are finances tight? Do you live near a toxic waste dump? Is he just afraid of being run more ragged? Or maybe he's got a reason he isn't talking about.
I'd say the best thing is to talk to him, ask him to tell you why he thinks the time isn't right, and listen to his concerns, and tell him honestly (but not aggressively) what your reasons are. Maybe you can figure out together a time that you can both agree on, or maybe you can allay some of his fears--or maybe the time really isn't right, and he can tell you why. The best thing is to talk openly, and listen openly, and take the time you need to work out a solution that works for both of you.
2006-06-08 07:13:55 · answer #1 · answered by thunderpigeon 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hey... I am the same. I feel the time is right and my wife says no. My son is almost two and money is not a factor. But mhy wife just moved to the country and she is still getting used to it, so I am waiting for one more year.
How to convince your husband??? I would not nag him. Men hate being nagged and pressured. I'd find a good time to talk to him, explain to him your reasons and he explain his. Perhaps your hubby responds better with an email where he can think it out. If he still disagrees, let it rest for a while.
I don't have much more advice except for hope and if it is meant to be, it will happen. Sometimes it is pointless to push a rope. :)
Good luck.
2006-06-08 14:10:17 · answer #2 · answered by wu_gwei21 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to convince him, it's probably not the right time. It should be something that you both mutually feel is the right thing. Let him know how you feel, but try not to pressure him. Could there be other things in the relationship that aren't secure. Maybe he feels insecure about something, and doesn' t want to add another child into it. Just a thought. God Bless
2006-06-08 16:53:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try listening to your husband. A good woman puts her life's priorities in this order:
God
Her Husband
Her Children
Bren, YOU get serious...who did you marry? Your kids or your husband...It's THAT kind of attitude that causes so many problems in a marriage. You ladies pop out a few kids and all of a sudden the "Lifemate" takes a permanent back seat. Oh and by the way, this is a Bible teaching, not mine...
2006-06-08 14:15:14 · answer #4 · answered by chairman_of_the_bored_04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess that would depend on why he's saying now isn't the right time... is it due to financial, religious, socio-economic, or geo-political reasons? Has he said WHEN is the right time (in a year or 2?), and if so, are you willing to wait? Why do you feel this is really the right time now (biological clock ticking?)?
Barring the answers to the questions above, you can take a page from a soap opera I used to watch and poke a hole in the diaphram (or condom) and cry "oopsies"!
2006-06-08 14:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by NY Resident 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that it is still not the right time. I think you should wait about 2 more years ok. Wait until you son is 5 then that way he can at least help take care of your newborn. So wait just for 2 more years and if he says it is not time. Dump him like toxic waste.
2006-06-08 17:07:06 · answer #6 · answered by babysmarts4ever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you and your hubby never discuss this prior to getting married? There is never a right time or enough money or whatever his excuses are to have another baby. In my case, my hubby and I just went for it. We never planned on having 4 kids., nor did we try and prevent it. We just new we wanted kids. I can't imagine it any other way. Maybe its time you sit him down and let him know how you feel? Good Luck
2006-06-08 14:15:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With the prices of everything so high why would you want another baby. Chances are you will either stay home and it will be just his income or you will have to work and put two kids in daycare. Plus not to mention two college educations! I agree with him wait a while longer.
2006-06-08 14:08:00 · answer #8 · answered by vihlee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, find out the reasons why doesn't he wish to have another baby. Concrete reasons, not just "it's my decision and conversation is over". Whether he wants to have more free time for himself, or to save money or just wait until the first baby will be more or less independent.
2006-06-08 14:11:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. Ask him why he is so against it right now. I wouldn't think having a huge age gap would be a good thing. It should be a mutual decision. You really need to find out why he is so resistant.
2006-06-08 14:08:54 · answer #10 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋