need advise re move?

Question

am 63 disabled woman. all my family lives in il. i live in florida . i am scooter wheelchair user and have congestive heart failure and bronchial problems from post polio. My family thinks i should move to IL near them and just stay in doors in the bad weather. I can get food and medicine delivered and they will visit and pick me up for holidays. I am totally isolated and spend all my weekends and holidays alone in fl. I have a fine apt here with everything i need and all my treasures. I get out every day. I do not have enuf money to move my belongings if i move. sibs would donate used stuff to me for my apt. any suggestions or sharing would help me ty

Answer 1

Why would you give up a place where you can get out in the sun every day, where you have everything you need but are isolated during the holidays in return for a place where you can't get out every day and in fact have to stay inside for months at a tme, where you have to have everything delivered to you but you have family at the holidays ? This makes no sense to me. It sounds like you are giving up a good life in return for being around family at the holidays. If your family wants you around at the holidays, then they can fly you to Illinois to be with them during the holidays, or - better yet - they can fly to see you during the holidays.

Regardless, you do not need to be totally isolated during the holidays in Florida. Have you checked with Social Services (Florida Department of Children and Family Services) to see if there are events and places you can go during the holiday season ? For example the Southwest Social Services agency in Coral Gables, Senior Services Division, has a goal to help older residents lead happier, healthier, and more independent lives. The City has a Senior Services Coordinator who is available to help seniors find activities and services in and around Coral Gables. This assistance is also offered to younger residents who are caring for an elderly relative living elsewhere. The City organizes special senior outings and makes every effort possible to provide transportation or make other arrangements as needed so their services are accessible to all.

It would make sense that your city would have something similar - all you need to do is to call Heaqlth and Human Services and start asking. Once you get involved in these kinds of activities, you will not be so isolated and you will find that many of the other individuals you meet are also lacking family around the holidays - you can build a whole new social infrastructure this way which would obviate the "need" to move away from everything sunny and "treasured" and familiar to live by yourself in an apartment just so you can see family at the holidays.

There are organizations out there, such as Little Brothers, Friends of the Elderly, which are dedicated to meeting the needs of the lonely and forgotten elderly women and men of their communities. I have provided you a link to their website, below.

For that matter, you can simply enter "elderly social activities Florida" into a search engine and begin to look around the internet yourself - get telephone numbers, begin to make calls, and build yourself a new life. I worry that if you give up your place and your independence to move to Illinois where your entire life is spent waiting for the holidays, you will be more lonely than ever before.

Answer 2

Your kids want things easier for them. They also worry about you. If your life is fine the way it is, then tell them so. If you were 35 they would not be 'telling' you to move. Do consider one of those monitors or a day visit person to make sure you don't fall (or whatever) and end up alone and hurt and no one knows it. DO consider contacting some local agencies. FL is full of them. You could have a nurse visit. You could meet some friends in the area! No one should be alone all the time.

Answer 3

Your family is worried about what is convenient for them, not you. I am sure they love and care about you but if your happy with where you are then don't move. They should understand you wanting to stay where it is comfortable for you. After all you only have one life to live, so live it. I know that if I where in you position I would want to be where I am most comfortable and be as independent as possible. I think finding someone to come over and help out with things is a good idea or something you should look into. Doesn't necessarily have to be through and agency, maybe an ad in the paper. Just be careful with that, anything is possible......Enjoy your life to the fullest and don't worry about the rest of them:-) Be happy