How can i get my kid to share her things?

Question

My kid is 20 month old, and any time we go for shopping, its a hard time to get the items scanned without her crying.
She does not let any kids who come over to our place to touch her books or toys.
Now i am 9 month pregnant and i dont know if it would be the same when the baby is out.

Answer 1

Time and Discipline

Answer 2

1) Is she going to daycare at least twice a week? Meaning - is she spending all her time with you or has she started socializing with other kids. It is important for her that she learn and that would give you a break. Even if she cries - you need to let go a bit.

2) Is she crying because she wants something or because she is due for a nap? I see some children --this age, younger and older -- act up because the parents push them to the limit. Children need their routines - eating, sleep, nap, juice (to keep from dehydrating)...etc. Maybe when you go shopping is when you need to leave her at day care for a bit - give yourself a break. She will, hopefully, outgrow it.

It will get WORSE when the baby comes - because this 20 month old will be very jealous.

Join a support group of mothers. The kids play and you are with the group - discussing these problems - talking to adults....etc.

Instill in her that she HAS to share....repeat it and repeat it. Reward her for doing so. Have her, before people come over, decide what toys will be played and shared.

Good luck. Wish each kid came with a manual!

Answer 3

It's really hard to share! A lot of parents expect their child to share but do you? Would you loan your neighbor your new car or favorite dress? What if your husband forced you to? How would you feel? It's essentially the same thing for children when it comes to their prized possessions. They don't want to share them either! If you force your child to share, it will only cause resentment and anger. Sharing is something that should come from the heart.

I'm a preschool teacher and in my classroom this is what works. A child can use something for as long as they want. When they put it away another child can use it. The children understand the ways of our classroom and accept this.

She is a little young but you can try and talk to your daughter before other children come visit in ways so that she can see the other person's point of view. "It looks like Emma really likes your toy. I bet she would like to play with it too. Maybe when you're finished she can play with it." These words may help your child empathize with the other child and they may share. If you are having another child over for a playdate, say to your daughter, "Emma is coming over soon. Let's pick out some things that you both can share together." You can also have her put away things that she doesn't want to share.

Explain as best as you can before shopping that when she gets something, the checker will need to see it before she can have it. Remember not to force it. Let it come from the heart. Good luck!

Answer 4

Now is the time to teach her. Have some friends come over and practice sharing and taking turns, it sure doesn't come natural to us, but it's necessary. If the toy is one of her special toys like her favorite bedtime stuffed toy or something offer to put it up while she has playmates over so that is not an issue. At that age it's all about them, that's where it's time for us to step in and show them how things work. It will take some time but with practice she'll get used to it. I have three children close in age and they are pretty good about sharing now, infact when I go to the store my youngest will ask for a toy and also ask for one for her sisters, and if it's cheap enough I will get them all three one. It takes alot of patience and guidance but that's why we're put here on earth as parents, to teach them these things. Get involved in a playgroup to get her more associated with other children her age and encourage her to play and share toys with these children.
As far as the grocery store goes, all three of mine have done that until they understood that they will get back what they are putting onto the conveyor belt. Just let her cry, and tell her that you have to pay for it and she'll get it back in a minute, that's all you can do. Infact maybe hand it to the cashier first. A good lesson in patience there...something alot of us are severely lacking today. Treat everything as a teachable moment for a child! GL!

Answer 5

Teach her the 3 words that every toddler should know: Sharing, caring and cooperation. Repeat them over and over explaining to her in the moment why she needs to do it. We have a rule: if you can't share it, it gets taken away - that's for when there are other kids around. Sharing is a learnt behaviour. If you have something and she wants a piece, say "okay, mommy will SHARE with you" or "do you want mommy to SHARE?" Then follow through with the action. She'll learn eventually. Good luck with the baby!

Answer 6

Do you like to share your things??? If I asked you to share your new toy or favorite toy would you want to share? Typically 20 month olds cannot grasp the concept of sharing... they are are in the egotistical stage.... everything is about them and for them. Encourage "taking turns" and sharing but, don't get bent out of shape if it doesnthappen.... ususally around 3 years kids can share and take tunrs (on an individual basis). When you sharer or take a turn make sure you point out what you are doing and praise when your child does share.

Answer 7

Perhaps you should allow her to enjoy possession of her belongings first before requiring sharing.
Remember the words even you use: HER books or toys. You should allow her to make her own choices. Yes, she is too young to understand all of this, but if you force her to share then she will never believe that anything that is given to her is ever really hers and will be taken away whenever someone else wants it.
If that pattern continues throughout her life, then she will never be motivated to want to earn something of her own as she will expect people to take it away from her. On the receiving end, she will expect people to "share" their things with her, perpetuating what is wrong with the youth today.

Answer 8

She doesn't know how to share yet. her toys are her toys and that's that. you will notice as she gets older she will be more willing to let other kids play with her toys. My daughter didn't start to share good until she got into pre-school but even now she sometimes has trouble sharing. when I had my 2nd daughter I just made sure my oldest didn't play with the baby's toys, that seemed to work for me.

Answer 9

consistency, eventually she will share. Does she give you a bite of her cookie if you ask for one if she does praise her for sharing, how about playing with her toys with her, ask her to hand you a certain toy then praise her for sharing her toys. I have 4 children under the age of 6 (a set of twins included) and believe me it was much easier to get them to share when they were toddlers compared to teens, but I do complain alot still about sharing!!

Answer 10

Let the other kids give their toys to her and give her toys to them, I hope she will like this.

When the next baby is around, I guess she would share anyway.