Okay so I'm not conceded but I have guys hit on me often. Well this guy I work with came up to me about something work related and then started talking to me about his marriage problems, trying to be sly. Well then he said he was going to give me his number and walked away. I hate being rude but of course I wouldn't appreciate it if my boyfriend were to take the number, so I'm going to tell him I can't take his number. But should I feel guilty for not stopping him from walking away and telling him immediately that I wasn't going to take it? Should I feel guilty if I don't tell my boyfriend? I mean opinions, is there really any other way to deal with people who hit on me, so that it doesn't come off like I'm flirting also, I tend to be so nice it comes off as flirting. I'm not concerned about the average joe on the street, but these are poeple I work with. I know this is stupid but please be serious!
2006-06-08 06:38:45 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No u shouldnt. Feeling guilty is not a solution to anything. Be a woman!
2006-06-08 06:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by Mash 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you should not feel guilty for stopping him earlier. The dude had a plan and you were taken off gaurd. That was not fair to you. Do not tell your boyfriend because it will just cause drama for something that is not really an issue. You have a concience, and it shows. No need to feel guilty, you already have fixed the 'issue' by pondering the truth, seeking to do the "right thing", and formulating a plan to counter the would be cheater's plan to suck you into his sorry miserable loser of a life. GREAT JOB! =-)
2006-06-08 06:47:25 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you need not feel guilty. Just throw away the number the guy at work gave you. No need to explain anything to him or to your boyfriend. You sound a little too anxious to please people and make them happy. Others sense this and try to take advantage of you. Continue to be pleasant and friendly, but if they take it as flirting or leading them on it is their fault, not yours. You owe them nothing, and don't let them make you feel guilty in the least. They are responsible for their actions, you are not responsible for their actions. Some guys will try various tactics including making you feel sorry for them, or that you led them to believe something, or you should go out with them for any number of reasons. They may act hurt or offended if you don't play along, but just remember it is all a game to them to get as much from you as they can.
2006-06-08 06:51:46 · answer #3 · answered by Doctor 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You definitely shouldn't feel guilty about not telling your boyfriend. This has nothing to do with your relationship. I don't think you're concieted, some people are just more "generally popular with the opposite sex" than others. You certainly shouldn't feel guilty about the way you reacted to your collegue - or rather that you reacted slowly - it's very common to be "stunned" in situations like this. Go ahead and tell him you're not interested and even if you were you wouldn't go out with a married man.
2006-06-08 06:47:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lotte T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you were just trying to be nice but now your going to have to deal with this guy because he thinks you like him because you took the number. Just be up front and honest with the guy that gave you the number. Stop the drama before it happens.
And if you decide to tell your boyfriend- ask him for help- approach it as hey, I have this problem, how do I tell his guy to stop. This way your not telling a guilty story but are asking for his help.
2006-06-08 06:46:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, sometimes in order for us not to bring us any burdens to carry, we have to do what we have to do. In your case, you can take his number, but you don't have to call him. If he asks you why you haven't called him, tell him that you've a very busy life, and that you rarely have time to call anyone, unless is very important.
On one side he will understand that you're busy, and that it is impossible to take calls. On the other side he will also sort of get the idea, that you are not interested in him, and that you are being nice to to be upfront and be rude at the same time.
About telling your boyfriend, that is all up to you. However, if he is the person you'd want to be with for the rest of your life, you might want to start confiding in him, and just tell him in a conversation, like some guy gave you his number thinking you would call him to ask you out on a date.
Me personally, I wouldn't and never go out with any of my co-workers at all. In fact, I don't really socialize with them...all my conversations with them are all work related. Nothing of "where did you go out last night" or "let's hang out". This way, I save myself from carrying an extra burden.
I tend to be very direct with a person, and I do it in the most respectful and accurate way so that no one gets offended.
2006-06-08 06:46:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mstislav 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not feel guilty, it sounds like you did the right thing. One thing I usually do (if in a relationship at the time) is find some way to casually mention my boyfriend (saying something like "Oh, my boyfriend likes that team too!"). If you feel you want to tell your boyfriend, go ahead, but I see no reason to unless you think the guy might get vindictive and tell your boyfriend something else.
2006-06-08 06:43:21 · answer #7 · answered by innocence faded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't feel guilty because he was the one who gave out his number knowing that he is married. You didnt do anything wrong. You seem very faithful to your boyfriend which is a good thing. You should give the number back and not feel guilty because he made the mistake not you.
2006-06-08 06:48:10 · answer #8 · answered by Ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's talking to you about his marital problems and offering his number to you, he's entering a danger zone with you. Don't feel guilty for letting him walk away - it could be he was trying out something new and may realize it was inappropriate. However, if he approaches you again like that, remind him you have a boyfriend your loyal to and he has a wife he should be loyal to and he should be talking to her about his problems. Depending on how confrontational you feel comfortable being with him, you may need to talk to your manager or supervisor. Chances are, you may not be the only one he's approaching.
Good luck.
2006-06-08 06:48:50 · answer #9 · answered by David 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take the flirting of other people with a grain of salt...if your attractive...your going to be hit on...sorry cutie but thats just the way the world turns...as long as you and your boyfriend know that it will never go as far as others flirting....then thats all you need to be concerned with...but dont flirt back obviously cause that will only creat a new can of worms...as far as the guy with the number thing...yeah you should of let him know instantly that your not buying into it....but either way...telling him now or later....he'll get the point....hope alls well...
2006-06-08 06:43:36 · answer #10 · answered by lastofodyinbreed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask US if you should feel guilty, that probably means you already do. If people hit on you and you don't appreciate it, you should tell them in no uncertain terms that you do not accept offers like this. No matter how 'nice' you are, a line has to be drawn somewhere.
That's pretty sleazy, for a married guy to do that anyway.
2006-06-08 06:42:23 · answer #11 · answered by dulcetpurr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋