The Pope had been diagnosed as having a potentially fatal testicular disease and after treatment he was told that he had to have sex with a woman to confirm that the treatment had been fully successful. He called all his Cardinals together and told them what he had to be done and they agreed it was necessary. The Pope said he would go ahead with it but insisted on four conditions. "Firstly", he said " the girl has to be blind so she cannot see it's the Holy Father and tell the whole world" "Secondly, she must be deaf so that she doesn't recognize the Holy Father's voice and tell the whole world" "Thirdly, as a precaution, she has to be dumb so she cannot tell the whole world anyway" At this point one of the Cardinals stood up and said " Leave it to me Holy Father, I know just the woman for you" As the Cardinal was about to leave the Pope said " wait a moment, I told you there are four conditions". He beckoned the Cardinal over and as the Cardinal bent down towards him, the Pope whispered in his ear ... "Big ****!".
2006-06-08 06:29:33 · 7 answers · asked by D23 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
not funny....first of all, it wouldn't matter if the treatment was successful, it's not like the pope is going to be having children anytime soon.
I thought it might have some potential, but the ending just wasn't funny
2006-06-08 06:35:48 · answer #1 · answered by Smiley Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
cant be joke of the day this is
Pick Heaven or Hell
One day while walking down the street a highly successful executive woman was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St.Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an executive make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." said the woman.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in."
"Actually, I think I've made up my mind...I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman.
"Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell. The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good- bye as she got on the elevator.
The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St. Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.
So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.
"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," he said.
The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."
So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and Filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."
The Devil looked at her and smiled. "Yesterday we were recruiting you; today you're staff."
2006-06-08 13:35:30 · answer #2 · answered by Robert B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my favourite quote..for a t-shirt.....
consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
since you like jokes may be you should check this site
http://1145798416.netgen.hop.clickbank.net
2006-06-08 13:36:22 · answer #3 · answered by really_confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha
2006-06-08 14:13:03 · answer #4 · answered by andre g 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you? that is from Cheech & chong
2006-06-08 13:36:54 · answer #5 · answered by get_unlost 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aaaaaahhhhhh....not sure about this one
2006-06-08 13:33:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has got the right idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-08 14:18:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋