Why is it that people looks down on single mom's??

Question

I don't understand why people look down on single moms. I have two babies and I am not with their father and I serioulsy get dirty looks and snickers all the time when people realize it is just me and my babies. At least single mom's have their babies and are here for them. It is not like we ran away and had abortions. We are taking responsiblity for our little ones. I just want to know what other people think about this and if there are any other single mom's out there that feel like I do. Please respond.

It is not that I don't feel pride for my babies, they are the most important thing in the world to me. But I just don't see how someone can look down on someone that is just trying to make a good life for themself and their little ones.

I am 21, and I work a fulltime job to take care of my little girls. I have no help for the state except for the fact that I am in the low income housing. And both of my babies have the same daddy. Who is a part of their life. We just could not seem to get things to work out between us.

Answer 1

I am a single mother as well, i have an 11 y/o boy, and i believe i know what you mean.

You shouldn't worry about it, i have always tougth that there are this few people who i care what they think about and they are the people who really knows me, and are there for me if i need some help. Any other people judgement is not relevant for me.

I believe there are diferent kind of ideas from the people, that are the reasons for them to prejudge.

There are the people who believes that single mother are easy girl, altougth they don't really know the story. It's easier for them to think that. Men loves to think that, because that gives them somekind the idea that they can have something to you, since you have "nothing to loose".

Women prejudge it because of their fear to loose their husband, boyfriend, or whatever, they believe single mother has somekind of advantage over them because - they believe- we wouldn't say no to a man.

If that persons who you notice are prejudging you, are really important, maybe some boss, the wife of your boss, some neighboor; i believe sometimes it really worths to try them to get to know you, and let them realize they are not rigth in their apreciations.

We cannot prejudge them, just because they are prejudice, sometimes we have to wait for them to notice theirmistake, and with the time they would even get to recognize your efforts.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

People are great at judging each other. It's just what we do. I don't personally know about being a single parent, but I do know how it feels to be judged as a parent. I look young so I get that 'oh goodness there goes another teen mom' look all the time. You just have to brush it off and keep your head held high. People will assume what they want. If that weren't judging someone for being a single parent they would just find another reason. Human nature. Gotta love it.

Answer 4

I know that you are taking care of your kids, working, etc, and doing it all yourself. The reason that you have been subjected to the crap is because there are many single moms that wear that as a badge and expect special treatment and privledges. (I took a class where one of the other students told the professor she couldnt' do her homework and other assignments because she was a single mom, as an example. What the heck difference does that make??!) I am married, but I might as well be a single mom, as my husband is an over the road truck driver. All the day to day responsibilites are mine, all the housework is mine, and getting the kids to school, their activities and junk is mine. I work a 50- 60 hour a week job on top of it all, too. You are fine, honey. Just keep taking care of those babies!

Answer 5

I do not think society looks down on you, as you put it. Single mom's are the backbone of America. I think there is perhaps a feeling that children have traditionally been thought of as a by product of marriage between a man and a woman, and deserve to be raised by both parents for a balanced life. Most people who have children and are in a partnership (marriage-civil union- whatever) know just how much work and responsibility from both parents it takes to raise a child. Perhaps you are "projecting" your feelings and insecurities on to other people.
Some people, probably commend you for the wonderful job you are doing in making a life for yourself and your children. Some people probably think, wow-you really got to hand it to her, I don't have the drive to raise children all by myself.
When you start thinking about the positive aspects of your life, then what other people think will not affect you , because they are not paying your bills, you are! And you will not be ASSUMING what other people are thinking, because you will be busy doing what you love!

Answer 6

I have been a single mom before and i think that it is just society's opinion. However i will say if the two parents are together and persay dad doesn't help like in my situation it make sit hard. I will tell you from my experience Love your children don't worry about what others think. It will come across o your children as you are worried about what others think about you so inturn they may do the same. I have the highest respect for single parents. It is so much harder to have an abortion than it is to raise a child.

Answer 7

I hate that people look down on single moms. I feel like my hands are full with one baby and my husband. To do everything alone takes a lot of time, dedication and love. I applaud you for taking the responsibility alone. Just a little advice from someone who doesn't know what your going through. Don't let other people get you down. Who cares what they think. You have your little ones and they have you. Be proud that you are there for your kids.

Answer 8

Except in rare cases, being a single mom means the person makes very bad choices with regard to the men they have in their lives. Usually, that means they are the type of person who is a match for the type of man who would abandon his family. People match up with people who are like each other. Now, most people could care less what you do in your personal life. But, as a man, when I meet a single mom, it is a very big warning sign that this woman is inappropriate as a partner and to be avoided. Further, in many cases she isn't appropriate to let hang around (ie the child's father is a drug addict, felon, violent etc.) It's a sign that the person is unstable, mentally and morally.

Answer 9

I'm not a single mom, but my mom was! I think she got nasty looks too! You may look young for your age and people might think you look young?!
My mom took take of us the best way she knew how!
My dad was never there, barely paid child cupport or anything! It's like we didn't exsist!
My grandma and aunt always ask me if they think my life would have been better if i was given up for adoption!
But i like to think that I would never have met my husband or had the family I have!
I never look down on them because every situation is different, and seeing that the girl has the kids then there might be something wrong with the guy! (ex-con that kind of thing!) But think how many girls dump their children on their parents to raise!
I think if you are doing all you can and raising them good for you!
I hope that helped!
Good Luck!

Answer 10

I don't look down on single moms as a rule...I actually admire them for being able to hold a job and raise a child(ren). I doubt I could do it! lol

However, I do look down on single moms who have four or five kids by several different men, and who are on welfare to support these kids. It's disgusting. Women like that, in my opinion, should be sterilized. What kind of future will those kids have? Coincidentally, those are the same moms who I see screaming (not scolding) but shrieking at their children to "shut the hell up" or smacking the sh!t out of them because they're whining that they can't have a toy, or, even one time, I saw a lady THROW her not more than 2 year old son into his car seat because he was crying. not sure why...he was just crying. She also had three other kids in the back seat and one in the front. It makes my stomach churn to see "mothers" like that. Women like that don't deserve the title of mother...it's a title of respect, and they don't deserve respect.