I have a problem with my children???

Question

I have 5 kids bu the ones I am having trouble with are my three boys. They are triplets and they are 7. They always fight over each others things and when one of them has something, is like a pack of wolves ating a human! They fight and my baby of them Julien, got a broken arm from Adrian and Trysten pulling on it to get something that was in his and. I cried when I took him to the ER but not because he was hurt but because I am scrared that they will grow to hate each other. Does anyone have any advice about any of this???? I have tried spanings, groundments or a month, and even taing everything they love away from them. I ma have to take them to see a specialist in discipline???? I sure hope someone out there has some form of advice!!!

Answer 1

7 is a hard age in general. Just keep continuing to punish them when they do something wrong and reward them when they do something right, or else they'll never learn how to behave. I'm sure they're plenty of support out there for you! Even in your own family. Try splitting them up once a week or something, have a different family member take one kid just for the day, get you and your hubby some alone time, which might help relieve stress too. When all the kids come home, they might not want to fight, but just sit and compare days for a little while and talk about what they did, where they went, what they ate, etc.

Good luck!!!

Answer 2

Hmmm. How about timing the kids' turns with a toy? Maybe take all the toys away and store them where they can't get them. Then you bring out 3 toys, one a piece. (Or an activity where they will be separated. Like one can go draw, one on the computer, one playing wall ball outside...) You decide which toy each one of them gets, and then set the timer for 5 minutes, and they switch. If they do a good job, with no fighting, then reward them with picking their own toy next time. (Or activity.)
Make a list of activities that the boys like to do and cut it up, and fold each activity into a square and throw them all in a bucket. When there is an argument, no matter how small, have the boys each draw something from the bucket, and the activity they drew is the one they have to go do. You could also use this as a chore punishment, by adding things in there like, sweep the driveway, organize the tupperware, make all the beds in the house, pick up and put away 10 items. If they comply, reward them with a positive comment and remind them that good behavior earns your respect.
Make them sit and write 5 things they like about each of their brothers when they have an argument. Make them all sit at the table and read them to eachother. If they don't comply, they stay there until they do. You must be stern! Let them know that the choice is theirs, either do as you say, or sit.
I have a 7 year old girl, and my boys are 3 and 5 months old. I worked in a daycare with schoolaged children for 3 years, and have had some seriously tough cookies. Giving them a choice often helps. But it's good to be the enforcer so that they remember who's boss. Good luck!

Answer 3

Where's the man of the house? Yelling doesn't work. Don't yell. Sometimes you need to separate them.
Kids get energized by soft drinks and sugar based foods. Take them off the sodas and candy. More fruit and vegatables, less meat.
Read all the labels of the foods they eat. Cut out the "High Fructose Syrups" completely from the diet.

That will be a start. Praise them when they are doing well and find a reward system for good behavior.

If they are behaving badly, take them into a room alone and have a discussion with them. Find out how they are feeling and ask them to think of other ways to solve the problem. Ask them to try to remember the options next time.

Answer 4

I have four boys, including a set of twin 6 year olds. I know what you're going through. My smallest always seems to be the punching bag too. Right now he has a busted lip and scratched chin. I've taken him in for stitches twice.
I think it's normal. Boys are just rough. I was raised with 4 brothers and they were worse!
My type of discipline is a little different. I take away PART of their stuff. Example: I take away controllers, but leave the system. I leave them their small hand-held systems , but take away the games, etc. This works well with my boys. Also, STICK to a punishment. I know when they are grounded it's like punishing yourself! So we tend to let them off just so we don't have to hear them. Email me- [e-mail]. I'll give you some tips!

Answer 5

For crying out loud the 7 and they're BOYS! Their behavior shows that they need an outlet for all their pent-up energy and frustrations. ENROLL THEM IN TAE-KWON-DO or any other martial art. Get them a nice "weight/kick bag" and set it up in the garage or somewhere safe. Let them work out with it. Tell them when they feel like hitting, they are to go hit the weight bag. Also, give the martial arts instructor a heads-up about the situation. Kids in MA usually have to pledge NOT to hit/kick except in class or when practicing. THIS WORKS. TRUST ME. STOP SPANKING THEM--IT ONLY TEACHES THEM TO HIT OTHERS IN ANGER! Oh...and don't have any more kids. You've got your hands full. As for how they'll feel about each other when they grow up, you can't really do anything about that. So concentrate on the present and stop crying about the future. Good luck.

Answer 6

The triplets have had to share everything from day one, even your time with them. They may be feeling some animosity and resentment because of that. I know this may difficult with 5 kids, but try setting time aside of one child at a time. If you go shopping, take just one of them with you ( I hope your husband will watch the others). Take one of them out to eat, or something special that he enjoys. Make it clear that everyone else will get a turn.

Answer 7

dr. phil talked about this a few days ago, and it was also triplet boys! you can go to www.dr.phil.com and read about it if you like. he says to spend personal time with each child, a special day with only one at a time, he says that it is about negitive attion, each child trying to make you see them as being one child, and not in the form of the triplets. i am so sorry, this must be a terrible time for you, good luck and may GOD BLESS.

Answer 8

My Mother has 6 children (myself, being the eldest at 19 down to the newborn 2months) and she STRONGLY reccomends the book "To Train Up a Child" by Michael and Debi Pearl

You can find this book and other helpful information at www.nogreaterjoy.org

We would LOVE to know if this helped you and if you need any further support, my mother and I would be happy to help you through this :) God Bless!!
[e-mail] -Email any time
Goodluck and keep happy :)

Answer 9

First of all - i think that many children causes you to be spread to thin & therfore your parenting must be spread in too many directions.. this classically results in children acting out to receive attention...

If you have three boy's .. make sure that everything that is given to them is given in 3's & exactly the same...

3 baseball gloves that are brown by the same manufacturer... you can apply this rulle to everything.. 3 hamburgers with catsup only.. what ever..

This must be done wether it is what they want or not...
for example ...
Boy 1 - Hamburger with lettuce & pickle
boy2 - hamburger with catsup only
boy3 - chicken nuggets

Order a hamberger with mustard only for all three..

This may sound cruel but the ideology is sound...

None of them get what they want & they all get the same thing...you need to reinforce the fact that they all need to agree together what to get & IT MUST BE EXACTLY THE SAME. !!

They will learn how to communicate with each other & how to talk instead of beat the crap out of each other...

You must proceed with this process for an extended period of time which is not a definate thing... I am sure that you will notice the change in your children in about 2 to 3 weeks ....

DO NOT STOP THIS PROCESS @ THE FIRST SIGN OF CHANGE...

This all sounds pretty harsh i am sure...but it worked with my child & my freinds twins....

Don't feel like you are being cruel....
If you do not control the situation soon - it will become progressivly worse.... noone wants to say they raised a criminal...

If the children refuse to eat what they are given ...DO NOT WORRY & DO NOT GIVE IN TO THEM...

They will eat when they are hungry enough...

As for the broken arm thing.... I am sure you have a medical bill & @ 7 years old .. you must teach these kids that this is not ok...

All three children must pay for the hospital services... Mow your lawn ..rake leaves .. take out garbage ... sell toys... whatever it takes to get them to realize the importance of what you are doing...

Giving away their toys is fine .. children know they will get more.... They must be involed in that process...

Have a garage sale that includes their things & make them sell them.... They must realize why they are doing this... It is important for them to accept the responsibility for their actions..

My freinds & family call me the "FUN NAZI" because of my techniques....

But my child is one of the most well behaved of my freinds & family ... so who are they to talk ....

Good luck & P.S. Your spouse & all other people that interact must act in the same way .. if they cannot .. they will need to have some sort of monitored visitation until the childrens issues are resolved....

I have a freind that had 3 children & i was pushed by another off playground equiptment... When my freind took the child to the hospital .. the child was checked in for a broken back & my freind was arrested for abuse.. his children were taken away & it took him almost 2 years to prove he was not an abusive parent & that it was another child that injured his child....

Dont let this happen to you ... Control your children.

Answer 10

Call Super Nanny, she's awesome! (or just watch the show for tips.) I truly admire women who have multiples! You have a great gift there and it is commendable that you are seeking help!(alot of parents dont care about discipline and how their children behave) I wish you the best of luck!