I havn't spoken to my dad n 5 yrs. He used 2 let my stepmom be mean 2 us & not let us eat. should I 4 give him

Question

he used 2 let my step mom lock us out of the house, not feed us the whole weekend we visited him. Not allow us 2 use soap when we bathed. They used 2 make us sleep on the floor, because we were not good enough for beds. I ended up pregnant when I was 15 & they would let there kids try and kick me. I always got left at the house to baby sit there 3 kids(all 3 in diapers), while they went off on 8 hour motorcycle rides.
Later in life I got married and asked my son, 2 walk me down the asile. My dad was furious. He thought he should have done that. Then he wanted 2 invite his new girlfriend to my wedding. I said no way. Because she would let him see my brother and sister from his previous marriage. He was so mad that he didn't come 2 my wedding, and blamed everything on me. I now have 3 children 12,7, & 2. I haven't spoken to him in 5 years. All I asked for was an appology for everything that happened n the past and he told me to get over it. Should I forgive him?

While I was pregnant with my 3rd child. My grandmother, my dad's mother, became ill. She had to be put into the hospital. I went to see her. Unfortunaly my dad was there also. He didn't look at me, ask me how my other two children(his grandchildren) were. I was 8 months months pregnant at the time. He didn't even ask me when I was due. I felt like air. A couple of months later, my grandma told me that he had said I was keeping the kids from him. What a lie. He dosen't even call, send them a card. NOTHING! How dare he say that I"m taking my kids from him when he dosen't even make an effort to see them.

Answer 1

Yes forgive him, but keep him out of your life. Forgive him for your own mental health, not because he deserves it. And bravo on letting your son walk you down the aisle! I'm sure he was much closer to you that your horrible father! But just because he's your father doesn't mean you have to talk to him or have a relationship. He proved over and over how much he doesn't care about how bad a job he did as a parent. He is selfish, petty, and thinks of himself first. Doesn't sound like anyone I'd want around my kids! So forgive him, then forget about him. Sounds like all of you are better without the guy.

Answer 2

The question is...are you ready to forgive him??? Are you still suffering from what he's done or are you feeling a little less angry?

The things they did to you were horrible, I know. As someone who lived through a very abusive past...I feel your pain.

Only you can decide if it's "time" to forgive him. The answer to your question of whether or not you "should" forgive him is YES. But...the decision to be made is "when" to forgive him. So...you have to go by what your heart tells you to do. Remember...life is too short. You only live once...and you only have ONE father. Once he's gone...you might wish you had made up with him and regret all those lost years when you could have been telling him how much you loved him. Remember...you can have a step-father, a father-in-law, whatever...but he's the only "Father" you will ever have. Think it over...and remember...only YOU can decide "when" to forgive him. :) God bless you.

Answer 3

Yes, simply because forgiving and forgetting are 2 totally different things.

I don't know if you believe in the Bible or not, but a lot of things that happen are caused by the very basic principle of not forgiving those that have hurt us.

Prayers are not heard if there is unforgiveness in our hearts. Tithes are not blessed if there is unforgiveness in our hearts.
Health is not honored, Heaven is not our final resting place;
and so on and so forth.

For your sake and the sake of your children, just ask God to help you forgive, say the Lord's Pray daily, as the bible instructs us to, and go on with your life without your dad.

Answer 4

I think they should have been turned in long ago. You deserve - AT THE VERY LEAST - an apology from him. It's so sad cuz kids get treated horrible by abusive adults and what happens? The kids blames themself (even thru adulthood) when it wasn't their fault. You are right but you are probably still in pain from all that. Maybe you should see a counselor and get this truly behind you so it doesn't hurt you the rest of your life. I mean this in a nice way - I know you're an adult and all.....but this stuff will eat at us forever if we allow it to.

Answer 5

YOU NEED TO FORGIVE HIM DESPITE ALL THAT HE'S DONE TO YOU. I KNOW IT WOULD BE SUPER HARD BUT ON THE INSIDE YOU'RE SUFFERING. WHEN PEOPLE ARE IN BITTER ANGER WITH SOMEONE AND HAVE NOT FORGIVED THEM THEY'RE ACTUALLY HURTING THEMSELVES! SOME DAYS YOU WONDER WHAT HE'S DOING AND HOW HE COULD HAVE HURT YOU SO BAD; I MEAN HE WAS YOUR DAD! BUT UNTIL YOU CALL HIM AND FORGIVE HIM YOU'LL BE HURTING AND FULL OF PAIN IN THE INSIDE WHICH WILL AFFECT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH YOUR KIDS AND YOUR FRIENDS. DON'T BE ANGRY; LIFE IS TOO SHORT. PEOPLE ARE JUST FICKLE AND PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES. TRUST ME I BEEN THERE AND I DIDN'T GET A BREAKTHROUGH UNTIL I FINALLY LET GO AND FORGAVE THEM. ITS SUCH A RELIEF WHEN YOU DO. I'M SURE HE'S MUCH DIFFERENT NOW AND HE JUST WANTS A CHANCE WITH YOU AGAIN AS HIS DAUGHTER. BUT YOU DON'T KNOW THAT UNTIL YOU PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL. DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF NOT FORGIVING HIM BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED YEARS AGO. I KNOW IT MUST HURT TO REMEMBER ALL THAT BUT YOU HAVE TO RELEASE YOURSELF OF THOSE PAINS AND ONCE YOU DO CALL HIM AND FORGIVE HIM; YOU WON'T LOOK AT THOSE PAGES OF YOUR PAST AGAIN AND YOU'LL FINALLY LIVE!!!

Answer 6

the choice to forgive needs to be based on how it makes you feel.
point is that you can't rationalize forgiveness on the expectation that your dad will become a better father/grandfather. you can't control how he'll react or feel. forgive him if it lifts a burden off your shoulders. you don't have too ask him into your life once
you've forgiven him. if he continues to be nasty, keep him at a distance. neither you, your husband nor your kids need the old fart in your lives unless he's going to be a good guy.

Answer 7

I had a mean sadistic step mother as well she just died without apologizing to me.You know what I learned it doesn't matter,especially if they don't see what they did was wrong.Just try to live without him and sooner or later you'll realize he is so not worth it look to your husbands family for the love he never gave you and make those bonds stronger.Hope it helps by the way I never forgave my stepmom and you shouldn't forgive what they did.

Answer 8

I'm sorry for what have happened to you, your dad doesn't know the word responsibility. he doesn't even care about you, your his daughter. you must be his priority not his girlfriends. my god what on earth is he thinking when he lets his girlfriend of his do all those things to you. he really needs to apologize for all what he have done, and that's a sincere one. have you seen him in those five years? have you noticed anything? has he changed his habits? you and your father better talk about the past and maybe later forgiveness will come. good luck and god bless!

Answer 9

wow.. thats terrible. Emotional and physical abuse should never be forgiven. He did nothing about it, and if he is still with this witch she might still be that way.

Sounds to me by him not taking responsiblity in the whole thing that he doesnt care much.

He was right tho, move on.... from him. Those kinds of emotional scars never go away.

Answer 10

wow your dads an a s s h o l e nope not unless he apologizes and is sincere