What would u do?

Question

I have been dating someone for a little more than a month. i really like him. we see eachother regularly 1-2xs a week When were together he is totally attentive and into me. But when were apart i have noticed his calls and emails have dwindled down to almost nothing unless I make the call or send the email first. I decided yesterday,Wednesday that i wasnt going to call or email him and just see what happens (we last saw eachother on Tuesday evening) Well, no call,no email from him and I saw he was online last night So now what do I do? I am a divorced mom and he is a divorced dad I really dont want to play games but he seems so great everything I am looking for and my kids have met him and really like him too

Answer 1

Here's the KEY point here: "But he seems so great and everything I am looking for". SEEMS. There is NO way for you to know what he's like after only a month. How do you know he's not online soliciting young children or sleeping with 5 other women? yes, that's drastic but my point is that you need to be much more responsible with your thoughts. No one knows anything other than social stuff after just one month.

There are always signs that life throws our way yet we repeatedly ignore them. He may not be what he seems and feels that you are more than what he deserves and it's really a blessing...maybe not. Be discerning, your children deserve that.

Now you're right in NOT calling and NOT emailing, that's just desparation. Just chill and see where the next few days take you and understand that your life won't end if it doesn't work out so stop forcing it. It's okay to be single. It's life's way of saying "Hey, I know that you deserve someone great so it's going to take me some time to bring that person to your life". Instead, we all try to take matters into our own hands and make people out to be something they're not.

Chill and see what happens. Don't bring it up cause that's going to come across as possessive and insecure.

Answer 2

I'm 49, divorced and have dated for quite a while online. I feel with my experience, men who are divorced and where she has kids, he does too, start extremely SLOWLY. I have accused, quizzed and pretty much driven my new relationships crazy with concern and the question about games, etc, so I totally understand your concerns. I have found, all men react the most positively in the direction you wish to go with them by not being chased or by us girls making the first moves, etc. Maybe he's seeing multiple women and likes that fun for now, maybe he's a dedicated father spending time with his kids more, maybe he works online at home at night, it could be any one of those and for now, I'd be available when I was, and make alternate plans many times a week to be busier than him!!!!!! If he has to chase you, it makes him determine if he really wants you or not and that's always a positive thing! So you go girl! Meet me out for 'girls night' and we'll discuss men and their insecurities after divorce and that'll keep you busy ONE NIGHT! hahaha......best of luck though, it's difficult as it can be!!!!!!!!!! blusboxwine at the Y. Laurie

Answer 3

Well relationships need emotions. He's okay. He just giving you time so that you miss him and when you meet him he might be expecting a hug from you. He could also be too busy. Just think positive. It really helps.And listen to what your heart says. If you think this advice is of no help to you then do that which pleases you most e.g go out and meet some relatives, have fun with your kids. Try to keep yourself busy.Just be happy and everything will be fine. So take care and don't worry..

Answer 4

Think about it this way while ur trying to decide what to do about this....Whats a relationship without trust?..Whats a relationship without the comfort of being able to speak your mind? If the situation was reversed what would u expect him to do?..stay quiet and let it eat away or speak up and find out sooner than later where the relationship is really headed?......I'm pretty confident that u know what will work for ur future best interests :)

Answer 5

u only been dating a month , it take that long to start seeing the different personalities. Remember the first month or so u see only what he won't you to see , after awhile the other person starts to surface. You're not in a committed type relationship , without the commitment he's free to do whatever until you both express the relationship will be exclusive.

Answer 6

maybe he's acting like this because he does want to get to close and get hurt you did say he's a divorced dad. so he might still need some time to his self so the next time you meet up talk to him and see whats up i'm sure it's just he needs time or he might have the same feelings for you and dont know how to tell you so you make the first move and talk to him!

Answer 7

but the problem is he doesn't want to commit to anything, right?

try NOT to communicate with him for a week and see what he's going to do. And if he seems to not even miss you, then its time you should look for other options.

Answer 8

tell him what u've told us about how you don't need to play games.maybe he's into you just as much as u are into him, but he doesn't want to seem too desperate.you two seem to be responsible adults...talk it over!!so what if u've been seeing eachother for just a month/1/!?relationships need honesty and respect,aside the obvious chemistry that you guys have!!

Answer 9

Ask him why he doesnt reply to your email or calls you. Ask him if he is really into this relationship so you could know where you stand.

Answer 10

That sucks. Its very painful when someone who used to call you now and again suddenly stops. Just confront him and see how he reacts to that. Best of luck!!