Why is this happening!!?

Question

for 3 years i have been neck and neck with my hubbies sister. she comes to the house everyday. sometimes she speaks and other times she dosent. i finally took the chance and called her jsut to invite her somewhere. and that made the situation worse, she acted like she had a bigger attitude with me. and when i told him he just had smirk on his face!? and said nothing. he say im jelous of his family. but when she brings ppl over to the house, they have attitudes with me! why is she being so mean, after all these years and why is she so concerend when me and him argue. and the mother 2 when the duaghters around she acts like i get on her nerves and when she leaves she my buddy? what to do.

Answer 1

This crap is your husbands fault. He needs to deal with his family. If they come into your home and are rude to you then he needs to say something to them. Take him to see Dr. Phil.

Answer 2

I would just refuse to talk to those catty beiotches. Maybe your hubby is telling his family all of your business. You know about when you argue and stuff like that. Honestly. This would be what I would do. I would ask the sister and the mother.. separately what in the hell their deal was. Then I would tell the sis that she has no business being around until she can treat you with some respect. And so what if it makes your hubby mad. He obviously isn't to concerned with what you feel. At this point you need to stick up for yourself and don't let any of them get to you. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Girl if they can't respect you in your own house then they need not to come over. Your husband should speak to them about it, otherwise it will continue to happen and you will start to feel like a prisoner in your own home when they come to visit.

You know what start a fight with her (not physical) so they can see you stand your ground. Cause maybe they are this way cause you are allowing it. I mean just catch an attitude with her and see how your husband reacts. If he gets mad at you ask why he didn't feel the same way when it was the other way around. Hopefully that will snap some sense in him.

Regardless, you need to speak up and set some boundaries. If you two don't get along thats fine as individuals there are certain people we click with and others we don't but just like in the work place we need to be civilized around one another.
SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT YOU NO MATTER WHAT ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE RESPECTING HER.

Answer 4

WHAT? no no no. You don't tolerate that at all do you hear me? this is YOUR home and YOUR husband and she needs to respect that PERIOD. You sit yourself down with your husband and you lay it down for him nice and clear. You say the following:

"listen, I don't expect you to understand it but I need you to hear me out, I have issues with the way I am treated by your sister (you don't need to go into detail) and I want it to stop. This is my house not hers and she needs to respect that and respect our space. she needs to come over less and when she does come over, she needs to call first"

Unfortunately, what's happened is that it's gone on for so long that it's expected that she can do what she wants and treat you the way she wants and your husband does NOTHING.

Now, you have to step up big time for the sake of your relationship and take action. You let him know that it stops now or else there will be consequences. If he can not learn to respect your feelings on the matter, you let him know that within a certain time frame, you'll get your own place or stay with family on your side until he can take some responsibility for your marriage and your boundaries as a couple. Period.

This isn't drastic, I am telling you how you're going to save your marriage. If you don't do this, you'll end up divorced within a year to two years. I assure you. It's the #2 cause for divorce, In Laws. So now you have to lay down the boundaries.

Yes, your husband will resist and throw little fits....TOO BAD, let him do it but stay calm and clear. Stick to what you say and let him know that this is the way it is.

If you asked any psychologist, therapist or counselor, they would tell you the same thing so consider yourself frugal for getting the free professional advice.

Stay strong, focussed and clear.

Answer 5

You need to put your foot down..Let'em know..If they can't respect you when they come to your house don't bother to bring their azz over! In fact, don't even let them inside..Period, end of story!

The other question I have is...What is your husband telling them, and is he running off at the mouth like he has diarrhea when the two of you have an argument? That may be the problem..If so, your husband needs to learn to keep his damn mouth shut and keep his family out of your marriage affairs...Either way, they need to respect you, when they come to your house. And the same needs to apply when they rang the phone. Or, don't bother ranging the doorbell or the phone..

There's absolutely no rule in the vows of marriage that says you have to befriend his family..If they don't want to have anything to do with you fine, and if they do then that's also fine. There's no reason why you should be kissing their azz. You didn't marry them, you married your husband.

Put the alligator skin on..And you'll be alright. They'll do either one or two things. Respect you when they come to the house (act like they have some damn sense) Or they'll stop coming over. I'm sure you'll like them to do the last one I mentioned.. AND talk to your husband. He's just as responsible for this as you are..He has allowed his family to come over and act the way they do..

Answer 6

It seems to me that your hubby's sister is jealous of you. When you get married you join together to make one family. So he should have a talk with his family and let them know that they need to back off if they can't change their attitude. For him to just smirk when you talked to him means that there is something that is goin on or that was said that you don't know about. I would first deal with that issue then go on to the next.

Answer 7

it sounds like you ar being talked about, the sister is the ring master!!! He mother and her discuss you and don't think they did'nt talk about you like a dog to your boyfriend.

but of course he will not tell you!!! which is right, to keep down confusion.

When you mentioned " that you were jealous of his family!" you should have asked him way would you be jealous of them, FOR WHAT!!! Sound like he is defending them.

then you said, you invited her out!!! trying to be nice and she gave you her *** to kiss!!! then when you told him he just smirk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IS HE TRYING TO END THIS DRAMA OR HE IS ENJOYING IT?WHY ISN;T HE TRYING TO COMFORT YOU? I THINK HE LIKE IT. why would he smirk?

why don't they like you? do you think it is because they liked he ex girl or perhaps his ex is his sisters friend. they may be jealous of you or just wicked people.

If I was you I would not be disrespect, I WOULD JUST BE CORDAL, I would say hi and leave or stay busy in the house or get on the phone. then if they get out of line I would tell them how I feel and what I have noticed then ask why they have an attituted!!!

you boyfriend should care for you feelings or keep you all apart or try to resolve the matter.

As far as the mother I would say hi and that is it. don't get pregnant or this what you child will be stuck with a family like this.

he should not let them get involved in; ya'll two relationship. there is a line and they are crossing it.

Answer 8

Your problem is your HUBBY! Marriage supersedes ALL other relationships, he is not following through with his end of the commitment. Your sister in law is oh so tuned in to this that she is playing both sides against the middle. Tell your MAN to COWBOY up and your NosyHauntess to bud out. If you don't put the foot down and have expectations then things will not improve.

Answer 9

Try to talk to your hubby again. Don't ***** and moan, "Why doesn't your family like me?" and sob and whine, just talk. Tell him you want to have a close relationship with his family, but you need his help since he knows them best.

If he still rolls his eyes and just smirks at you, telling you you're being dramatic or overly sensitve, then his family isn't the problem, he is.

Answer 10

Start going to her place every day and see if she bloody likes it lol.. Or , go out when she comes. When she arrives, Just tell her your heading out and just go to the park or somthing. She'll soon get the hint!

Your hubby really needs to get some respect for you. he has none from what i see. He should stand up to his family and tell them they cannot keep coming every day and disrespecting you in YOUR home. You know deep down its him that has to change this situation. he clearly is just avoiding the issue because its easier for him to listen to you whine a bit, then to confront his family and tell them to butt out. Hes not respecting you. My partner let (or i let) his family walk all over me. Once i had my kids (to him) I decided I didnt want a bar of them, so i would stay home or go somwhere else when they had a family do. He had to go with the kids or alone. I refused to go. They soon woke up and realised I was a good person and I wasnt trying to steal him away from them. I just wanted some space and to get on with my life with my family.

Shes just plain rude and obviously jealous of you. People behave this way out of jealousy. I would just start making myself BUSY when shes around. Even if it means getting up and going outside to put the trash out. Or gardening or washing, or scrubbing the shower. Just ignore her and she'll get the hint. Your man should listen to you and realise how it makes you feel. If he cared. He'd help you sort it out. If he doesnt, even after you tell him, then sorry, but hes not worth it.

Basically what I'm saying is. If he cant respect you enough to see how his sister makes you feel in YOUR own home. Then hes not respecting you enough to deserve your love. How would he like it if it was reversed? If it was your brother doing this. You dont need to put up with this. Its not good for you mentally and probably in the end, physically. Anxiety and stress are not good!

Answer 11

She just doesn't like you. However if this is the case you should be able to know about it and she should stop the two-facedness.
Staight up ask her and don't worry about her feelings. The exercise is in the question and not the answer.

I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace.