try ur best and get 10 points........!?

Question

post anything funny! a joke,one liners,funny comments ...... etc!
anything u wish! one which will make me laugh most will get 10 points!

Answer 1

here is a funny stuff for u :-
• A kid wrote to Santa Claus: Send me a brother
Santa wrote back: Send me ur mother


• How wud u tell ur galfriend if u want to go to toilet on 1st date.
Dear I've to go to shake hands with my close friend with whom I'm going to introduce u later



• 10 qualities of a perfect girlfriend- Truthful, Intelligent, Gentle, Humble, Tolerant, Polite, Understanding, Sexy, Smart, Youthful. In short -TIGHT P*USSY



• Why Newton was shocked when he saw a beautiful girl naked?
He found his dick going up, which was against his 'Law of Gravity'




• A boy comes to his class with broken specs. Teacher: What happened?
Boy: I was kissing my galfriend
Teacher: How could u break ur specs kissing a gal?
Boy: She crossedher legs




• The trouble with finding ur perfect soul mate is that she would probably want to get married, then 4 weeks after the wedding u would meet another perfect soul mate, with larger breasts


and the last one .................

• A rooster & cat were goin over a bridge, cat slips n falls in river. Rooster can't stop laughing.
Moral: Wherever there's a wet p*ussy there's a happy c*ock

Answer 2

First the short one:

What's the difference between an epileptic corn husker and a prostitute with diarrhea?
The epileptic shucks between fits...

Now the long one:


One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess I should see a doctor."

His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor. Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."

Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks.

Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.

He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:

Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Answer 3

My First Time

The sky was dark
The moon was high
All alone
Just her and I
Her hair so soft
Her eyes so blue
I knew just what
She wanted to do
Her skin so soft
Her legs so fine
I ran my fingers
Down her spine
I didn't know how
But I tried my best
To place my hand
On her breasts
I remember my fear
My fast beating heart
But slowly she spread
Her legs apart
And when she did it
I felt no shame
All at once
The white stuff came
At last it's finished
It's all over now
My first time
Milking a cow!

He he he! You sick-o!

Answer 4

Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways to gather fruits.
The first one came back and said to the king, "I brought ten apples." The king then explained the trial to him. "You have to shove the fruits up your butt without any expression on your face or you'll be eaten."
The first apple went in... but on the second one he winced out in pain, so he was killed.
The second one arrived and showed the king ten berries. When the king explained the trial to him he thought to himself that this should be easy. 1...2...3...4...5...6...7...8... and on the ninth berry he burst out in laughter and was killed.
The first guy and the second guy met in heaven. The first one asked, "Why did you laugh, you almost got away with it?" The second one replied, "I couldn't help it, I saw the third guy coming with pineapples."

Answer 5

U r thousands of miles away from me, still I'm watching ur every movement on 3 difft channels: Pogo, Cartoon network & Animal planet. Thnx to media

kleptomaniac woman had been caught shoplifting in a supermarket and had to appear in court, taking along her long-suffering husband for marital support.

The prosecution proved that the theft had taken place so the judge told her that, considering her record, he was forced to impose a jail term.

"This time you stole a can of tomatoes. There were six tomatoes in the can. Do you agree?"

The woman agreed.

"Then I sentence you to six nights in jail."

The husband jumped to his feet, addressing the judge, "Your honor, may I approach the bench?"

"Well," said his honor, "this is somewhat unusual but I will make an exception in this case. You may approach the bench."

The husband wasted no time getting there and, leaning forward, he said in a low voice, "She also stole a can of peas."

Answer 6

Yesterday's News:- A nun jogging at Jogger' Park was raped by 4 guys.
Today's News :- Nearly 100 nuns found jogging at the park.

Answer 7

you might be a redneck if yo let you 12 yr old daughter smoke ciggarettes at the dinner table in front of her kids

Answer 8

a lady called 911 and said: "Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp...A man broke into my house and he's aaaah raping me now!! can u come arrrrrest him? yeaaaah...aaaaaah.. tomorrow morning plzzz?"


Why do they call it the wonder bra?? Because when its taken off, u wonder where the t*ts went!!!

Answer 9

3 guys at a bar talking about how drunk they got the night before.

1st guy "Man, I got so drunk, I ended up crashing my car into a pole on the way home."

2nd guy "Man, I got so drunk, I couldn't even make it into my house. I woke up on my porch."

3rd guy "Man, I got so drunk, I got home and blew chunks."

The first two were like "So what, that doesn't sound to bad compared to us."

The 3rd guy "Naw, you guys don't get it, .... Chunks is my dog!"

Answer 10

Naah... I dont work this hard to get 10 points.