Not that I'm the world's expert on child rearing but they are always making suggestions and trying to show me how to do things better that I feel they're telling me that I'm a bad mother.
2006-06-07 23:32:18 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If you are asking this sort of question, you are definitely not a bad mother! You are obviously trying to do the best you can for your children and that is the most important thing.
You do not say how old your children are but remember your parents have done it before so may have something constructive to help you out.
I have two children (boy aged 13, girl aged 7) and have been married for 17 years. Both sets of parents give me advice - whether or not I ask for it! The best advice I got was from my mother - listen to the advice and then decide whether or not to act on it. Just remember - never reject advice out of hand - it may work! Don't say anything negative to the family - after all, babysitters available at the drop of the hat are hard to find and you do not want to alienate them!
However they are your children so you have to decide whether any advice is worth following, whether it is from a relative or from a child specialist/health worker/doctor.
You are asking us for advice and you will not follow it all, will you - you will simply listen to the one that sounds reasonable and then act on it. You just have to do the same with child rearing advice.
2006-06-08 01:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If they are genuinely trying to help and give you the benefit of their experience, then try to accept the comments as being constructive and thank them. If they are criticising you for no real reason then or simply do things differently, as long as the child's welfare is unaffected, simply ignore the advice and carry on doing what you are comfortable with doing. Create some distance between you and the rest of your family, invite them round less often or move a little further away.
2006-06-08 01:47:37 · answer #2 · answered by RX-8man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Jilly,
Your problem lies on family values. Whenever your family make suggestions, try to stop and listen to them without feeling DEFENSIVE. Because I'm sure they are doing this out of concern and interest and NOT TO DEMEAN YOU.
Nuggets of wisdom are picked up from everyone. No one is perfect but everyone has something good to share. So, if you try to DEAL the suggestions from this perspective then you will find yourself more relaxed and appreciative of others' input.
But if you are really stressed out living with your family, then why not try to separate from them and have a "peaceful" life somewhere.
All the best.
Hope this helps.
2006-06-07 23:50:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would simply say to them "thanks for sharing" and end the conversation. If a comment hurts me, I have said to them, "why did you feel it necessary to say that to me?"
Advice from experienced parents can be helpful but, we don't all parent the same way. Is your child healthy and happy? Who is in the "drivers seat" with regards to parent/child relationship? Innately you'll know if you are a good mom! Have fun, it is the best role in the world!
2006-06-07 23:45:51 · answer #4 · answered by mjohn28497@sbcglobal.net 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell them how this makes you feel. My mum was like that, but remember, all kids are different and need different forms of discipline. eg my oldest is 3 and you only have to tell her off and she never does it again. Our youngest almost2 you have to shut her in her room at least 4 times before she gets the idea. She's not stupid, just hard work! anyway, you need to learn things for yourself, explain that you will ask for help if you need it, but otherwise you';d like to learn from your own mistakes.
2006-06-09 00:05:29 · answer #5 · answered by wolfstorm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ty ..and whether its ur 1st child or what.. do consult ur parents ..and talk to them ..as these parents are the one who cared about u ..
if u think that they are interfering and and if this causing worry to ur children or u ...then u can move away from ur family..
2006-06-08 02:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by sanjubuddy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them you know how best to look after your kids.They can assist,but not to the extent of making you look as if you don't know what you are doing.
2006-06-07 23:38:55 · answer #7 · answered by Bob Mukonka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know its not easy but tell them to sod off, no one is the best mother in the world but you have to learn by your own mistakes. good luk hun
2006-06-08 02:54:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't visit them or invite them. Keep away from them.
2006-06-08 05:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them straight out..........'Stop telling me how to raise my kids'. ......and keep telling them that, soon they'll get the picture
2006-06-07 23:38:05 · answer #10 · answered by angel 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋