The best JOKE you've ever heard???

Question

only 1 pls!

Answer 1

A young man goes into a
pharmacy and asks the pharmacist:

"Hello, could you give me a condom.
My girlfriend has invited me for dinner

and I think she is expecting something from me!"

The pharmacist gives him the condom;
and as the young man is going out,

he returns and tells him: "Give me a
another condom because my girlfriend's sister
very cute too.

She always crosses her legs in a provocative manner
when she sees me and I think she expects something from me too."

The pharmacist gives him a second condom;

and as the boy is leaving he turns back and says:
"After all, give me one more condom because my
girlfriend's mom is still pretty cute and
when she sees me she always makes allusions...
and since she invited me for dinner,
I think she is expecting something from me!!

During dinner, the young man is sitting with his girlfriend on his
left, the sister on his right and the mom facing him.

When the dad gets there, the boy lowers
his head and starts praying: "Dear Lord,
bless this dinner...thank you for all you give us...!!!"

A minute later the boy is still praying: "Thank you Lord for your
kindness..."

Ten minutes go on and the boy is still praying,
keeping his head down.

The others look at each other surprised and his
girlfriend even more than the others.

She gets close to the boy and tells him in his ear:
"I didn't know you were so religious!!!"

The boy replies :"I didn't know your dad was a pharmacist!!!"


======================


One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route.As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His wonder was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer and liquor bottles. "Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night." the mailman comments.
Bob in obvious pain replies, "Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 am Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing "WHO AM I".
The mailman thinks a moment and says, "How do you play that?"
"Well all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us and only our "privates" showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is."
The mailman laughs and says, "Damn, I'm sorry I missed that.
"Probably a good thing you did," Bob responds. "Your name came up seven times....

Answer 2

A woman sitting at a roadhouse in Top Springs, NT, suddenly
began to cough while eating a giant outback steak.
After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real
distress and two Jackaroos at the next table turned to look at her. "Can ya swalla?", asked one Jackaroo.
The woman signalled "No", desperately shaking her head.
"Can ya breathe?", asked the other.
The woman, beginning to turn blue, shook her head "No".
With that, the first Jackaroo raced over to her, lifted up the
back of her skirt, yanked down her panties, and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt crack.
This shocked the woman into such a violent spasm that the
obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.
The Jackaroo walked back over to his mate and proudly took another drink of his VB. His mate said in admiration,
"Ya know, I'd heard of that there Hind Lick Manoeuvre, but I
ain't never seen nobody do it before".

Well I thought it was funny and about the only one I can remember :)

Answer 3

How many members of the Bush administration are required to replace the light bulb?







Seven:

(1) one to deny that a light bulb needs to be replaced;
(2) one to attack and question the patriotism of anyone who has questions about the light bulb;
(3) one to blame the previous administration for the need of a new light bulb;
(4) one to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have a secret stockpile of light bulbs;
(5) one to get together with Vice President Cheney and figure out how to pay Halliburton Industries one million dollars for a light bulb;
(6) one to arrange a photo-op session showing Bush changing the light bulb while dressed in a flight suit and wrapped in an American flag;
(7) and finally one to explain to Bush the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Answer 4

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answers, "well son whenever a Indian baby is born the father would go outside and name the baby after the first thing he sees... Why do u ask Two Dogs ********.

Answer 5

Why is ur d*ck better than a credit card??
1. Once u spent it recharges itself.
2. Its accepted worldwide.
3. U can let ur wife use it as much as she wants.

Answer 6

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AgMmCSH0HocWOjkXrdKpmAPsy6IX?qid=20060605221739AAQ1Nj0

hey couldnt resist
i like your avatar do enter it into the great avatar challenge

Answer 7

havent heard yet ...if u hear bout it tell me .

Answer 8

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AuU3ljmF560qMUp1_cdQRsfsy6IX?qid=20060608031537AAMZleI

Answer 9

who is the most stupid person here.............. you!! ahahahahahahahahahaha