any good jokes even animal or riddels deal ?

Question

any good jokes u can get ten points so get in the draw to win them it is a bit of a challenge but a easy one it is the best joke corner to put in jokes and to read riddels and jokes so just have a look put a comment or to in answers put in jokes read out jokes put in riddels read out riddels so come in and have a shot of reading or sharing funny jokes scary jokes animal jokes happy jokes and them kind of riddels to put in and share and go in the draw to win ten points or read them to your friends and make them laugh

come on its the best

Answer 1

Guy walks into a bar with an octopus. Says to the bartender 'I'll bet a hundred dollars this octopus can play any instrument in the place.'
So the bartender points at the piano in the corner says, 'Go ahead.'
Guy puts the octopus on the piano stool, octopus flips up the lid, plays a few scales, then lays out a little étude on the piano.
So guys says 'Pay up,'
Bartender says 'Wait a minute,' pulls out a guitar.
Guy gives the octopus the guitar, octopus tightens up the E-string, closes its eyes, plays a sweet little fandango on the guitar.
Guy says 'Pay up,'
Bartender says 'Hold on, I think I've got something else around here,' pulls a clarinet out of the back room. Octopus looks the thing over a couple of times, tightens the reed. Well, the octopus isn't good exactly, but he manages to squeak out a few bars on the clarinet. He isn't going to win any awards, but he plays the thing.
Guy says 'Pay up,'
The bartender says "Just wait one minute,' goes in the back rummages around finally comes out with a bagpipes. Plops the bagpipes up on the bar.
Guy brings the octopus over, plops the octopus up next to the bagpipes.
Octopus looks the bagpipes over, reaches out lifts one pipe lets it drop. Lifts another lets it drop. Backs up, squints at the bagpipes.
Guy gets nervous, comes over to the bar says to the octopus 'What's the matter? Can't you play it?'
And the octopus says 'Play it? If I can figure out how to get its pajamas off, I'm gonna f**k it!'"

Answer 2

PAM, u mean sardr as in sardarjee jokes or something else my knowledge deprived brain has never heard of?.
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a joke? o ya.........................ummmmmmmmmm.........
~My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.
~A guy enters bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. The guy drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, the guy grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's a woman. "I'll give it a try," she says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle." (kinda dirty, but hey.)
~ guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
~A guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him, shows him doors to three rooms, and says he must choose one spend eternity in. In the first room, people are standing in sh*t up to their necks. The guy says "no, let me see the next room." In the second room, people are standing with sh*t up to their noses. Guy says no again. Finally, Satan opens the door to the third room. People are standing with shi*t up to their knees, drinking coffee and eating danish pastries. The guy says, "I pick this room." Satan says okay and starts to leave, and the guy wades in and starts pouring some coffee. On the way out Satan yells, "O.K., coffee break's over. Everyone back on your heads!"
~On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his co-pilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a bj." All the passengers hear it. As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says "Don’t forget the coffee!" (another dirt one)
~A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scount. "This dog can speak English," he claims to the unimpressed agent. "Okay, Sport," the guys says to the dog, "what’s on the top of a house?" "Roof!" the dog replies. "Oh, come on..." the talent agent responds. "All dogs go ‘roof’." "No, wait," the guy says. He asks the dog "what does sandpaper feel like?" "Rough!" the dog answers. The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience. "No, hang on," the guy says. "This one will amaze you. " He turns and asks the dog: "Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" goes the dog. And the talent scount, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street. And the dog turns to the guy and says "Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"
~I bought a box of animal crackers and it said on it "Do not eat if seal is broken." So I opened up the box, and sure enough...
~A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!" he replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"

Answer 3

A Pit Bull,German Shepherd and a Boxer are sitting in the pound.
pit bull asks the german shepherd what he did to get locked up.

" I bit the mail man so they're putting me to sleep tomorrow" then he asks the pit bull what did you do.

"some asshole kid used to tease me every time he walked by my fence. One day my master forgot to tie me up .I waited for the kid to come by and when he did i jumped the fence, and tore the kids *** off,so they're putting me to sleep tomorrow"

Then they both look over to the Boxer and ask him what he did.

"Well, my master is a gorgeous red head. One day she was on all fours looking under the couch for something she lost. Her *** was sticking up in the air and I could no longer resist. I had to hump that ***, and in doing so I scratched her leg a little bit"

Then the Pit Bull says "they're putting you to sleep for that"

Boxer says "Hell no, I'm here to get my nails clipped"

Answer 4

this joke may be inopropriate.

there was a man on a buisness trip and he comes accorss a prostitute. he asks how much for a handjob and she goes 50 dollars he goes alright give it to me, then she goes see that mercedes over there i got it by giving handjobs.. then again the guy comes past her again and he goes how much for a bj he goes 75 dollars, then she goes see that pier over there i bought it by giving bjs. then on the final day of his trip he asks how much for the whole package and she goes 500 dollars, then she goes see that island over there i would get that if i had a penis.

Answer 5

A girl walks out of her room, and sees her brother sitting on the stairs holding something brown. The girl assumes its his teddy bear and says, " Let's go get some breakfast" but the boy goes to the bathroom. The girl waits for the boy and when He FINALLY comes out he says, "poo poo wants to meet his freind!!"

Answer 6

once there was a king and he had a daughter and three guys wanted to mary the daughter so the king said that you have to make it across the bridge w/o your camel pooping so the first guy was a english guy but he didn't make it across the bridge because his camel pooped, the next guy was amarican and he didn't make either w/o his camel pooping, the third guy was chinease and he made it all the way across and the king asked him how did you get across w/o your camel pooping and he said me chinease me no dumb me stick rock up camels bumb.

Answer 7

Why did the lobster blush?


Because the Sea weed.

Answer 8

Same as when you sister a castrated mountain william.

Answer 9

What's brown and sticky? A stick! Lol!

Answer 10

sorry i dont narrate animal jokes ,will sardar do,greatest human joke animal.